You've been called too much your whole life. Too loud, too opinionated, too intense, too independent, too picky. You've done the work, sat through the dates, read the books, and still gone home wondering what's wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. You've just been looking in the wrong places. Serena Kerrigan spent six years as the loudest, most confident voice in the dating conversation, the woman millions turned to, and she almost didn't write her book because being single made her feel like a fraud. In this episode, she and Valeria get into the reframe that changed everything, and it's the same one that led Serena to the man she now lives with: she met him on a stranger's podcast, reading out a text from a guy who had ghosted her, and he told her she wasn't too much, she was just looking in the wrong places. They talk about why she invented a whole confident persona at eighteen because she was insecure, the year she went quiet building something no one could see, why the most successful women walk around in masculine energy that quietly keeps love out, and the dating advice she's had to fact-check now that she's actually in love. And the line every woman needs to hear: stop calling yourself picky. You're not picky. You're refusing to settle. You were the prize the whole time. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Serena: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/serenakerrigan TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@serenakerrigan Her book, Let's F*cking Date: https://letsfuckingdate.com/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/5542133 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 2:44 The book this isn't, and the book it actually is 3:31 Eighteen, insecure, and inventing SFK as armor 4:15 Standing at the mirror, saying the name out loud 5:17 When confidence starts as a performance 6:24 The night people were blown away that she stopped caring 7:04 I'm actually a sensitive person and an empath 8:30 When the persona became a crutch 9:27 The fine line of knowing when to turn it on 10:29 What guy is going to want to deal with that? 11:07 Altering yourself before you even walk into the date 12:21 Holding up mirrors to yourself 12:47 Going back to figure out what wasn't working 13:07 I didn't think I was worthy of a relationship 13:49 Deciding to show up as herself, not the persona 14:03 Why she walked away to write the book 14:56 When she finally felt like she figured it out 16:09 Calling her agent: what if I wrote a dating book? 17:20 I'm going to stop editing myself 17:38 On a stranger's podcast, reading out the text that ghosted her 18:06 For the right guy, you'll be the perfect amount 18:43 Meeting the man who saw the soft person underneath 19:22 What to actually look for: feeling safe 19:48 When you don't trust yourself around someone 20:40 When you meet the right person, the anxiety goes quiet 21:08 The daddy issues reframe, and the not-enough wound 22:04 The older man, and what she was really chasing 22:46 Whatever you want, that's fine: losing herself on dates 23:12 The dating advice she's had to fact-check now 24:06 The wall she put up when it was actually going well 25:21 Both of you still figuring out who you are 26:54 The three Ps: become the prize, enjoy the ride, never settle 27:32 We're so hard on ourselves 28:16 It's not men are trash, and it's not mason jar affirmations 29:37 The only thing you can control is how you show up 30:34 When was the last time you did something outside your comfort zone? 31:29 Writing the book was the most uncomfortable thing 32:04 A beautiful Miami story 33:28 Why stepping outside your comfort zone changes everything 34:50 You have to be outside, meeting people 35:18 You're most magnetic in your own energy 35:50 Why the modern woman keeps love out with masculine armor 40:00 Stop calling yourself picky. You're refusing to settle 45:00 Rapid fire 50:00 What women aren't saying out loud Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We live in a world that has made being a founder a whole personality: move fast, be visible, build in public, become the brand, and make sure everyone sees how hard you're working. Dianna Cohen built Crown Affair by doing almost the exact opposite. Crown Affair is at Sephora and Goop, with Gwyneth Paltrow as one of its earliest investors. But this conversation isn't really about beauty. Dianna built her company around three words: "take your time". And a few years into building it, she made a decision most founders would struggle to make: she stepped down as CEO after realizing her nervous system wasn't built for the way she'd been leading. We talk about why slowness can be a strategy, what it means to lead from feminine energy, the difference between being an operator and a creator, and why creativity and intuition deserve a place in leadership conversations. Dianna also shares what burnout taught her, why our bodies often know things before our brains do, and the line I haven't stopped thinking about: when everything in you says push harder, sometimes the answer is to do the opposite. This episode is for anyone tired of moving at everyone else's pace, and wondering whether success really has to cost you your sanity. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Dianna: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diannacohen TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@diannacohen Crown Affair: https://crownaffair.com/ Take Your Time Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/take-your-time/id1896516883 Substack: https://dianna.substack.com/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 2:02 Meeting in Miami four years ago 3:31 Building a world around taking your time 5:13 Time is the ultimate luxury 6:25 It started from a Google Doc 9:02 Getting into beauty and why ignorance is bliss 10:39 Two years of nights and weekends before going all in 12:45 The bathroom as a sacred space 14:11 Is slowness actually a strategy? 16:48 What she gained by going slow 17:43 Stepping down as CEO 19:27 Couples therapy for a founder and operator 20:04 The nervous system that wasn't built for the way she was leading 20:32 Do the opposite of what your brain is telling you 20:52 “Happy people don't start companies” 22:36 Gary and Valeria's own sabotage 26:33 Operator vs. creator 27:44 The fear of being seen 30:35 Why the CMO should be the last hire 32:46 Creativity and feminine energy in a masculine industry 35:23 What feminine energy looks like in practice 36:04 Intuition is a hard skill 39:30 Playing in the sandbox again 42:28 Why isn't creativity in leadership books? 45:15 The Artist's Way 48:53 Trust vs. faith 52:04 Why we don't talk enough about the nervous system 52:55 Our bodies speak a different language than our brains 55:36 Growing up in a household that didn't allow crying 58:14 Scarcity and learning to receive abundance 1:00:22 Success with emptiness inside 1:03:03 Lessons from iconic women she worked for 1:05:40 Founder culture and cosplaying CEO 1:07:18 Expert, creator, celebrity and product brands 1:08:57 The triangle of delusion 1:11:37 How many people you move—not how many you reach 1:12:00 Why she'll never build in public 1:16:33 The two-phone trick for Instagram addiction 1:19:37 What women should understand about creativity 1:21:30 Rapid fire 1:25:30 What women aren't saying out loud Disclaimer:The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A while back I posted something about my kids, and a woman sent me a DM that has been quietly sitting in the back of my mind ever since. She said, it feels like you resisted motherhood for a while and now you've fully embraced it. What changed? And here's the honest thing. If that message had landed in my inbox two years ago, it would have sent me straight down a dark hole. It would have fed the mom guilt so well I'd have needed months to climb back out. So this one is me finally answering her, out loud. I had a very specific image of what motherhood would look like, and when it actually arrived, it looked nothing like the picture. I was exhausted. I was, if I'm being honest, bored. And I felt so much guilt for even thinking that, because everyone around me seemed to be glowing in exactly the season that was making me feel lost. I thought I was failing at the one thing I was supposed to be built for. What I've come to understand is the thing I most needed someone to tell me back then. Loving your children and feeling fully lit up by every single stage of raising them are two different things. You can adore your kids and still not feel like yourself in the baby years. That doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a human one. And some of us, it turns out, come alive in the chapters that come later. This is for the woman quietly wondering why she doesn't feel the way she was told she would. The one comparing her insides to everyone else's highlight reel. The one grieving the version of herself she was before, not knowing the best is still ahead of her. Nobody warns you that some seasons of motherhood just won't feel like yours. I'm telling you now, so you don't spend two years thinking something is wrong with you. There isn't. You're not alone. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/7358472 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 0:00 The DM that made me stop 0:52 Two years ago this would have wrecked me 1:37 The very specific image of motherhood I had 2:22 When it arrived, it looked nothing like the picture 2:43 I was so bored, and so guilty for feeling it 3:07 The woman I was before the kids 4:19 Trying, and failing, to find one clear memory 5:03 Feeling like I was failing at what I was built for 5:30 Everyone else looked like they were in their flow 6:20 What the curated feed does to mothers 6:44 The borrowed guilt from a script 7:09 But what about the rest of us? 7:32 Loving your kids and being lit up by every stage are two different things 7:55 What shifted with an eleven and a seven-year-old 8:19 The conversations are my favorite part now 9:08 The expectations I grew up carrying 10:38 Not every woman is built for the baby chapter 11:08 To the woman who doesn't feel it yet 11:31 It doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human 12:14 The comparison loosened its grip 12:36 Sometimes your best motherhood years come later 13:00 You are not alone Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are people you meet once and think about for years. Codie Sanchez is one of mine. She is the founder of Contrarian Thinking, a Forbes 2026 Top Creator, and one of the most powerful voices in business on the internet, the rare person in her world who says the quiet part out loud instead of selling you the highlight reel. A New York Times bestseller with a nine-figure portfolio of businesses most people will never see the inside of, and a way of talking that makes you sit up straight. So I asked her the thing I actually wanted to know. What's the most dishonest part of the entrepreneurship dream we're all being sold? And she did not flinch. We get into why most business owners don't run their businesses, their businesses run them. Why the thing you build to give you freedom so often ends up with you by the throat. The vacation test that Gary and I failed miserably. And her whole argument, the one behind her new book Own or Be Owned, that being needed is not the same thing as being free, and most of us confuse the two until it's very expensive to learn the difference. But this one got personal fast, because Codie is about to become a mother for the first time, at the exact moment she's releasing the biggest work of her career. So we talked about what happens to a woman who built the whole machine when she has to evolve into a different woman for the next chapter. Running a business with your husband. Softness and power, and how they actually meet in leadership. Whether we even want it all, or whether we've just never been asked what we actually want. This is for the woman who is burned out, or tired, or quietly talked herself out of starting the thing. The one who suspects most of what she sees online is a little bit fake, and is right. Codie is proof you can build the business and still have the life, but only if you're honest with yourself about which life that is first. This is Codie Sanchez. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Codie: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct BigDeal podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bigdeal/id1736593333 Preorder her book, Own or Be Owned: https://codiesanchez.com/book/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/7214312 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 3:00 Round two, and a whole new chapter 5:00 Should you even become an owner? 6:00 Everybody can build a $10 business, but should they 9:19 The most dishonest part of the entrepreneurship dream 10:30 Selling a dream that's missing all the context 12:36 The questions nobody asks before they start 13:46 The price of the visibility 14:50 What do you actually want, though 16:00 The first million is the hardest 18:30 The martyr trap 21:03 Profit and revenue, not vanity metrics 24:11 Everybody's doing the most 25:19 Getting your team invested and leveraged 28:00 I'm not happy, and I'm the one who built this 30:27 Being needed is not the same as being free 33:10 What women in particular have to unlearn 35:30 Knowing what your person actually wants 36:38 The asset nobody wants to buy 39:00 What's my real hourly wage? 42:53 This is our era, ladies 44:00 The vacation test, which Gary and I failed 46:23 It won't work if you want different things 47:28 The moment she realized she had to evolve 48:51 Fresh flowers, and building a company you want to be in 50:55 Creating something from nothing 52:17 A world builder 55:00 What if you want something different now 58:07 Running a business, and a marriage, at the same time 1:00:44 The bargain you don't want to make 1:02:44 We're more capable than we're told 1:03:38 It's okay to say you want less, too 1:06:15 Softness and power in leadership 1:08:02 Buy or build? 1:09:28 Time is the real currency 1:11:00 Rapid fire Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At thirty-nine, Cat Pierce had no marriage, no career, no baby, and no plan. If you did the math on her life the way we're all quietly taught to, she was failing. The music money was gone. The marriage was over. She had never been the one left before, and suddenly she was. And then she said the thing that made me put my pen down. Underneath all of it, she felt a flicker of freedom. Because for the first time she could admit she wasn't fulfilled, and now she got to build the life she actually wanted. I found Cat the way half the internet did, one of those videos where her whole inner monologue plays across her face without a word, and I've been a little mesmerized ever since. I wanted to know what she was drinking. Turns out the answer is a life she made twice. First act: signed at nineteen, fifteen years on the road with her sister, opening for Coldplay and Elton John, writing the song that became the sound of an entire generation. Second act, the one that got me: a beauty line she started while trying to conceive, a tarot deck she drew by hand and published, a New York Times feature, a memoir, and a daughter she had at forty-four with donor eggs and a husband she called in by writing him down on a list. None of it happened on the timeline she thought she was failing. That's the whole thing. We get into the rockstar years and what fifteen years of needing to be seen quietly did to her. The collapse, and the strange grace that grew out of it. Whether she believes we're all a little bit witches. And the line I keep repeating to every woman I know: you can miss every timeline you ever set for yourself and still land somewhere better than the place you were aiming. This is for the woman who watches everyone else hit the milestones and keeps quietly moving her own goalposts back. The one grieving a version of her life that never showed up, not yet realizing a completely different one already did. You are not behind. You are not late. You're just early to a life you haven't met yet. This is Cat Pierce. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. FOLLOW CAT Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamcatdog Omen Beauty on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omenbycatpierce Omen Beauty + The Omen Oracle Deck: https://omenbycatpierce.com/ FOLLOW VALERIA Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog FOLLOW NOT ALONE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Website: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop Valeria’s look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/7077651 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT 02:16 The timeline every woman is scared of 03:11 The video where her inner talk showed up on her face 05:23 Leno, Letterman, and the rockstar years 06:10 From nineteen to her mid-thirties 07:00 What the industry taught her about being seen 09:00 Learning to read a room and grab a crowd 11:18 Saying, “That’s actually not what I want” 13:07 Being asked to show up as herself now 15:44 We’re constantly healing 17:13 The breakup that broke her open 19:22 Thirty-nine, and everything gone at once 20:54 No one is coming to save you 22:00 The maternal instinct she didn’t expect 24:46 A real blow to the ego 25:53 Drawing the first tarot cards to survive it 27:36 Feeling like she had failed 28:47 Freezing eggs and the hot topic nobody says out loud 31:00 Writing it down and calling him in with a list 35:23 You can miss the timeline and still find a way 36:01 Starting Omen Beauty while trying to conceive 37:43 The new dream and the donor egg decision 40:00 What it actually costs, financially and otherwise 42:21 Growing into a different kind of mother 44:16 Happy with one and the sister comparison 45:17 The frequency, the knowing, and trusting herself 49:00 Tarot, oracle decks, and where the art came from 51:30 You need the dark soil to grow something good 53:58 Do you believe we’re all witches? 55:30 We have more power than we’re taught 58:19 Learning to be by yourself 59:22 The Disney story we were sold 01:00:17 Shockingly low maintenance 01:04:30 The memoir and connecting all the dots 01:08:46 To the woman who’s single, tired, and sure she’s behind 01:11:27 You might just be recharging 01:13:06 Rapid fire DISCLAIMER Some links in this description may be sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have a complicated relationship with parenting experts. I usually leave them feeling worse than when I walked in, one more list of things I'm apparently getting wrong. So I sat down with Dr. Becky Kennedy, the most trusted parenting expert in the country, half braced to feel like a failure again. Instead I said the quiet thing out loud. I'm tired. I'm so tired. And the woman who wrote the book looked at me and said, me too. We're the first generation of parents in a world that never turns off. Then she told me the only thing she'll call herself an expert in is imperfect parenting, and something in me unclenched for the first time in about a year. Because here's what nobody hands you with the baby: the exhaustion isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. Sometimes it's just proof of how much you're carrying. We get into all of it. Why our kids' feelings run the entire household now, and how that even happened. Whether we're performing motherhood for an invisible audience instead of just living it. And the line I genuinely cannot shake, that optimizing for our kids' happiness is the fastest way to optimize their anxiety. She also asked me one question I was too embarrassed to answer honestly. How often are you just around your kid, quiet, not on your phone? Reader, I did not have a good answer. Somewhere in there I had to admit I don't fully know what I'm doing as a mother, and she let me off the hook in the best way: nobody does. The whole conversation kept landing on two words. Do less. So much less. I cannot tell you how good it felt to be told that by the one person allowed to say it. This is for the mom who reads every book, holds every boundary, names every feeling before it becomes a tantrum, and still lies awake certain she's the one getting it wrong. You're not. You're just tired, and you've been sold a version of good mom that was never real. This is Dr. Becky Kennedy, and I left this one lighter than I've felt in a long time. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. FOLLOW DR. BECKY Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Good Inside Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodinside Good Inside with Dr. Becky Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-inside-with-dr-becky/id1561689671 Good Inside: https://www.goodinside.com/ FOLLOW VALERIA Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog FOLLOW NOT ALONE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ SHOP Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/6585812 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT 2:00 My tricky relationship with parenting experts 3:30 I'm sick of it, and I don't think doing it all made me a better mom 6:10 When did being a good mom mean never stopping? 9:05 Why we hear a mother want less and think she loves them less 11:40 She's tired too, even as the one everyone runs to 13:30 Around your kids versus actually with them 16:20 The performance of motherhood 18:30 Optimizing for their comfort at every moment 21:15 Happy kids don't become happy adults the way we think 24:00 Optimizing for happiness optimizes for anxiety 26:30 The two words that change everything: I believe you 29:03 Why fixing their feelings backfires 33:10 The death of the tiger mom 36:40 The childhoods we came from 40:00 Raising them entitled without meaning to 42:23 Stop negotiating the same thing every day 45:30 A firm boundary and real empathy at the same time 49:15 What she actually does at seven in the morning 52:00 She doesn't parent like Dr. Becky either 55:30 Do less. So much less 58:42 You yell, I yell, and then we repair 1:02:41 Repair is the whole thing 1:05:30 This isn't really a parenting book 1:07:05 Perfect parenting was never the goal DISCLAIMER The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I think I'm a little over the mental health conversation. I know how that sounds, so stay with me. I believe in therapy. It has helped me more than I can say, and I'll keep doing the work. This isn't about anxiety, or burnout, or real trauma. Those are their own conversations, and they matter. This is about something else, something that started out helpful and quietly turned into something I'm not sure is helping us anymore. Here's what I keep noticing. Every uncomfortable feeling has become a red flag. Every hard week has to mean something. We've built this whole vocabulary, attachment style, nervous system, activated, aligned, not aligned, and we've started reaching for it to describe a bad Wednesday. Somewhere in there we forgot the difference between something being hard and something being wrong. They feel almost the same in the body. They are not the same thing. So I get into how you actually tell them apart, because that's the muscle I think we've lost. Hard gets quieter when you sit with it. Wrong gets louder. Hard makes you bigger. Wrong makes you smaller. Hard moves through and ends. Wrong feels the same today as it did three months ago. And then I get honest about my own life, the modeling shoot at fourteen where I froze, the year I moved to Canada and was depressed the whole time and stayed anyway, marrying Gary at twenty-one through all the judgment, filming my first videos alone and cringing the entire time. If I'd read any of that as a sign to stop, I wouldn't have the life I have now. I'm not saying this from the other side of it. I'm in it this week, still catching myself calling something "not aligned" when the truth is I was just scared. But I'd rather be the woman who tried the thing and complained the whole way than the one who protected her peace so carefully she never learned anything about herself. There's a difference between protecting your peace and protecting your potential. This one's a developing conversation, and I want to keep having it with you. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/6814030 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: (1:03) I think I'm ready to say some truths (1:23) I'm a little over the mental health conversation (1:49) What I actually mean, and what I believe in (2:11) The stuff I'm not talking about: anxiety, burnout, real trauma (2:46) Every uncomfortable feeling has become a red flag (3:04) The whole vocabulary we've built (3:46) Borrowing that language for things that are just hard (4:46) We're making ourselves scared of our own lives (5:02) The difference between hard and wrong (6:26) If they feel the same in the body, how do you tell? (7:19) One: hard gets quieter, wrong gets louder (7:56) Two: hard makes you bigger, wrong makes you smaller (8:41) Three: hard moves, wrong stays (9:18) Every version of me I'm proud of came from discomfort (9:48) Fourteen, and frozen at the modeling shoot (10:25) Moving to Canada at twenty, depressed for a year, and staying (11:03) Marrying Gary at twenty-one, and the judgment (11:36) Filming alone, cringing, wanting to quit (12:34) My mom, the loudest voice in my head (12:46) Her story: a single mother starting over with nothing (13:23) She had to trust herself because there was nothing else (14:20) The millennial load, and the muscle we lost (15:25) I'm not speaking from the other side. I'm in it this week (16:05) The cage of overhealing (16:21) Feeling a hard thing without naming it (16:51) The difference between rest and avoidance (17:12) Catching myself using the language to avoid (17:52) The version of me who feels ready is never coming (18:35) To the woman who's quietly tired of all of it (19:00) You're allowed to feel things without diagnosing them (19:49) Protecting your peace vs protecting your potential (20:14) I'd rather be the woman who tried the thing (20:18) A developing conversation. Tell me where you stand Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsored or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A billion views. Twelve million women. All of it started on a living room floor, postpartum, in lockdown, with a phone and no plan. Jo had gained fifty pounds, she was in the middle of postpartum depression, and she has said her body was nothing she recognized. She almost didn't press record. She thought if she showed up looking like that, people would look away. She showed up anyway. Not for an audience, not for the algorithm, not even for the woman she used to be. And that quiet decision, made on a bad day when nothing felt possible, is the whole reason twelve million women found her. We got into the girl before all of it. One of eleven kids, a family band, university at sixteen. Why she gave up training athletes to train regular women. The husband she met on a shoot, the one who never pulls her down. The woman in China who told her that her smile through a screen was the only thing that got her through the pandemic. The first stage she ever walked onto turned out to be an arena of forty thousand. And she said the smartest thing about consistency I've heard anyone say out loud. It isn't a daily workout. It's knowing what season you're actually in and showing up for that one. Two fifteen-minute workouts a week after a baby counts. So does a workout every day when life lets you. Neither one is failing. We talk about transformation like the point is the after photo. I don't think it is. The real story is the woman who got on the floor when nothing felt possible and chose herself anyway. Coming home to yourself isn't a transformation. It's a decision. Quiet, daily, usually made when no one is watching. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Jo: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/growwithjo TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@growwithjo YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@growwithjo Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/6634193 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 3:00 The girl before Grow With Jo 3:41 One of eleven kids, and a family band 8:52 University at sixteen 11:04 A new school, and learning to adapt 14:03 Why she left training athletes for regular women 17:26 The moment she knew she could reach more people 19:46 This is what I actually look like now 21:50 The first baby, and the lockdown 22:57 The weight, and the out-of-body feeling 24:19 It gave me purpose instead of feeling sorry for myself 24:44 The first step was the living room floor 25:19 Too embarrassed to film at first 26:01 I didn't want to do my therapy in public 26:56 Moving to Florida, four months postpartum 28:19 Posting it on YouTube, and I guess that's what I do now 28:41 Meeting her husband on a shoot 32:33 China, and the woman whose day her smile got through 35:47 Her first stage was forty thousand people 38:30 Consistency is not a daily workout 40:13 Stay consistent to stay confident 41:04 Faith, and crying through a workout 44:10 Coming home to yourself is not a transformation 45:21 Larry, the husband who never pulls her down 46:44 The loneliness of building alone 48:34 Why she sought out Creator Method 50:58 London, and the power of the right environment 52:41 Where Grow With Jo goes next 54:53 Not alone, and women meeting in person 55:21 Keeping the team small and the culture intact 56:45 One thing she'd tell the woman on her couch 58:14 Rapid fire 1:01:52 Close Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a book every woman I know is reading right now. It's called Strangers, Belle Burden's memoir, and Gwyneth Paltrow just bought the rights to turn it into a film. I picked it up expecting to join the bandwagon. I did not expect it to hold up a mirror. It's about a woman whose husband leaves, and in the rubble of that she realizes she doesn't know a single real thing about her own financial life. What they own, whether her name is on anything, where she stands. He walks out the door and takes the whole map of her life with him, because she never once looked at it herself. Here's the part I couldn't shake. Her marriage looked exactly like mine. Fifteen years in, three boys, my name on everything we've built, my own money since I was a teenager. I always thought that was what independence meant, making your own money. It took me fifteen years to realize independence is actually knowing what your own money is doing, and I closed that book and realized I didn't. Her husband had to leave for her to find out. Mine is sitting right here with me, and I still didn't know So I brought it to Gary, in the least graceful way possible, in the car on the way to dinner, and it did not go how I planned. We get into the prenup I signed at 21 and why the math has since flipped to protect me, the fight that followed, why he heard my questions and thought I was about to end our marriage, and the difference between trusting someone and actually knowing your own life. We only ever teach women this after a marriage is already over. I think that's backwards. I think a good marriage is the best place in the world to have this conversation, so I brought him here to have the rest of it with you. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Gary: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garylipovetsky Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/6367477 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 0:00 The book that scared me 1:02 How I brought it to Gary 2:23 My money, and watching my mom 5:09 Gary's parents and the scarcity mindset 7:12 The day you said yes, everything became ours 10:50 Beyond the prenup 11:56 Signing it 15 years ago 13:54 The prenup was protecting me too 14:44 Re-examining it now that the math has flipped 16:05 If a friend asked for a prenup and she said no 17:19 Bringing it to the present 28:42 I keep myself in the dark 35:01 You thought I wanted a divorce 35:21 Not in the car on the way to dinner 43:21 I trusted him, so I thought I didn't need to know 45:32 Knowing the balance now, and estate planning 47:50 The way I think finances should work in a marriage 52:12 Making money and raising kids is not the whole marriage 55:16 What I'd tell other women 58:25 Did you learn anything about yourself? Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I posted a video in my car saying I stopped getting my nails done and my life got better. That was it. One less appointment, one less thing to manage. I thought I had cracked the code, and the code was nails. Then the internet lost it. Twice. The first time, women were relieved, like nobody had told them opting out was allowed. A year later, it came back and turned into something else entirely. First, I was broke for not doing my nails. Then, I was rich for not doing my nails. My little video ended up next to Carolyn Bessette in think pieces, and I am over here just trying not to drive to a salon. So I called Cyndi Ramirez-Fulton, who built Chillhouse from one SoHo salon into the brand that created the press-on category. She said the part I had not thought about at all: when I skip my nails, it gets called quiet luxury. When a woman of color skips hers, it can read like she is not keeping up. Same bare nail, completely different verdict. I had become the poster child of a trend I never signed up for, and I had not once considered whose hand it was on. We stayed there for a while. Why we go after each other so hard over our own faces. Whether we quietly judge other women, which she answered honestly instead of pretending she does not. What her mother's spa in Queens had—a room full of women talking for hours—that we do not really have anymore. Why she builds loudly and improves quietly. And what it is actually like to build a company with the man you are married to, which is its own thing entirely. At the end, I asked her what women are not saying out loud right now. She said she wishes we could fully own being who we want to be and not feel bad about it. We can change, we can stay the same, and we can do whatever we want. I think a lot of women need to hear that right now. Cyndi Ramirez-Fulton is the founder and CEO of Chillhouse, the self-care brand she built from a single SoHo salon into one of the most influential beauty companies of her generation. She is the woman behind Chill Tips, the press-on line that helped redefine what nail care even is. An Inc. Female Founders honoree and one of WWD's 40 of Tomorrow, she partnered with Kiss Beauty Group in a deal that keeps Chillhouse independent, staying on as CEO with her team and her SoHo flagship intact. She is a wife, a mother, and a proud Colombian-American—the daughter of an esthetician who started with a single chair in Jackson Heights and grew it into four stores. The Queen of Chill. Cyndi's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyndiramirez Chillhouse Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chillhouse Valeria's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky Valeria's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Not Alone's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod Not Alone's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/6367477 WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT: 0:00 – I posted one video about my nails 2:16 – Why she called the Queen of Nails 3:37 – The year it came back and changed shape 5:37 – Becoming the poster child she never signed up for 6:39 – The part that did not sit right with her 7:52 – Are we bored, or is everything a trend? 8:57 – Who actually wears bare nails 10:06 – The question nobody wanted to ask out loud 11:01 – Valeria pushes back: status or race? 12:23 – Why beauty is so loaded 12:41 – Burgundy hair, black eyeliner, and needing a flag to carry 14:15 – So I'm trending now? 15:29 – Wait, I have a choice 15:36 – Russian mother, Colombian mother, same rules 17:10 – Her mother's chair in Jackson Heights 17:38 – What those rooms full of women had 19:18 – Building Chillhouse and self-care as a necessity 21:04 – Why people still crave the salon 25:59 – Holding two truths: organic and Botox 28:08 – The Botox conversation she was scared to have 29:18 – Why she talks about what she gets done 30:33 – The magazine where Valeria did not recognize her own face 31:15 – Cyndi's teenage modeling years 31:56 – Do you judge other women? Be honest 33:44 – Judging as a mirror, not a verdict 33:54 – Each other's greatest critics, each other's greatest teachers 34:46 – The real takeaway from the bare-nail discourse 35:07 – Recession indicator to status symbol 36:42 – The poster child of having fun with beauty 37:45 – Finding a personal style and dressing like a chameleon 38:29 – Being the face of the brand 40:09 – 2020: putting nails in women's hands at home 41:21 – The pivot, the pandemic, and making payroll 43:12 – The intuition she never second-guessed 43:43 – Why intuition is the business skill 47:28 – Build loudly, improve quietly 50:35 – When vulnerability goes too far 52:34 – Leaving New York to find solid ground 53:51 – Building a company with the person you married 57:06 – The real version of building with your husband 59:02 – The coach they needed and the next version of themselves 1:00:34 – Rapid fire 1:02:28 – What women aren't saying out loud Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices