The Functioning Hot Mess Podcast
The Functioning Hot Mess Podcast
Tonya Murray
Hey! I’m Tonya Murray. I’ve had enough toxic relationships to write a book about them, so I did. I started this podcast to share my life lessons and hot mess moments to let you know you’re not alone on this thing called life. Every week, you’ll get a solo episode or an interview to help you improve your self-confidence, create healthy relationships, or become a better parent. One at a time, my friend. No need to be an overachiever! I’ll be positive and inspire you, but that does not mean I have all my crap together. My feelings get hurt, insecurities kick my butt, and times when my perfect looking life is such BS. I’ve had big hot mess moments with little functioning and others when I’m pretty okay. I’ve learned to laugh at myself and do what I can to become a better person. Isn’t that the point of a personal transformation journey? Hit subscribe and apply what resonates with you and throw away the rest. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all world so why would the podcast be?
Why You Need to Take Ownership of Your Life
Do you struggle to think about your past, because it’s too painful to dig into? Maybe you aren’t proud of some of the choices you’ve made, and you want to blame everyone else but yourself-you’re not ready to take ownership. I don’t want you to beat yourself up for feeling this way (we’re all human and make mistakes after all), but I do want to help you move forward, and make the positive progress you desire with your life.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -An excerpt from my book Functioning Hot Mess: Embrace Your Inner Chaos and Be Enough in a World That Says You’re Not, about the importance of taking ownership of your life, even if the people in your life aren’t doing the same -Learning exactly how you can take ownership back by really evaluating past events (not just staying at the surface level with how you feel) -My own story of giving someone else too much of my power, control, and happiness, until I finally had enough   When you decide to take ownership of your life, you start to understand challenges that are placed on you, and how you want to feel moving forward. Your feelings are very real, and they are valid, and I hope you choose to investigate those. It’s time to take your power back, and live your best, empowered life!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Perfectly Imperfect Membership-https://theheartofconfidence.com/membership.  If you’re feeling like a hot mess and you know you need a change, or you’re just ready to level up and not sure where to start, you can try my new membership risk free for 7 days! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode118
Jun 27
17 min
Pursuing Your Dreams and Embracing Your True Self with Vivianna Thomas
Have you ever felt so passionate about something, and started visualizing it becoming a reality? My guest on today’s episode, Vivianna Thomas, shares her story about going against the grain and pursuing her dream of starting her own beauty company in 2021.   Vivianna is a mother to 2 beautiful children and a wife to a federal police officer. She is the owner and founder of American Woman Beauty, and it is unlike any other beauty company out there. Vivianna wanted to create a unique brand that supports other women who love America, love God, and aren’t afraid to exercise their right to practice the First Amendment. One of the main goals for American Woman Beauty is to create a positive community for women to come together, and celebrate all that they are with American-made makeup and beauty products.   In today’s episode, we’re talking about: -Vivianna’s story of growing up in a military family and eventually, dealing with unsupportive people when it came to her husband’s line of work -Realizing her deep love for her country, and her inspiration to start her own beauty brand -Her desire to help women break out of their shells and come together, so no one is left feeling like an outcast  -The steps she took to actually start her business, and everything she’s learned since doing so -Not being afraid to pursue something new and ask for help along the way, no matter your experience or background -Her own work-life balance, and why she loves building her business with her kids by her side   I loved getting to chat with Vivianna, and everything she has been able to do with American Woman Beauty in such a short time is truly incredible! A great reminder for all of us is we are never ‘stuck’, and we can always do something that is fulfilling, no matter what season of life we’re in. I can’t wait for you to listen to our conversation-we have so much in common, and I have no doubt you will be inspired after you listen to this episode!   Get 15% off your American Woman Beauty purchase with the code HOTMESS at checkout!  www.americanwomanbeauty.net If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Perfectly Imperfect Membership-https://theheartofconfidence.com/membership.  If you’re feeling like a hot mess and you know you need a change, or you’re just ready to level up and not sure where to start, you can try my new membership risk free for 7 days! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode117
Jun 20
45 min
The Importance of Not Transferring the Parental Role to Your Partner
Something I see fairly often when talking with people is a transfer of the parental role to their partner. While this is most common in romantic relationships, it can also occur in friendships and boss-employee relationships as well. No matter where this is happening, it tends to be somewhat hidden, and it can negatively impact the entire dynamic of your relationship.   In today’s episode, I’m covering: -My own story of getting married young, and how I transferred the parental role to my then partner -How to recognize when this is happening in your relationship, and how to go about making a positive change  -Learning the importance of having difficult (but very necessary) conversations with your partner, so you can build a stronger and united relationship   Changing your behavior and taking certain actions will take time-this won’t all happen overnight. I don’t want you to blame your partner, friend, boss, etc., or feel like you need to tear them down, because this is not a hierarchy. When you’re tapping into your higher power and empowering yourself, you’ll be able to show up with more compassion, power, and love for your partner, and your relationship.    If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Perfectly Imperfect Membership-https://theheartofconfidence.com/membership.  If you’re feeling like a hot mess and you know you need a change, or you’re just ready to level up and not sure where to start, you can try my new membership risk free for 7 days! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode116
Jun 13
19 min
Why We Need to Spend More Time Outside
I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love this time of year. The weather is warming up, so you’ll probably find me camping, riding my motorcycle, or even hanging out with friends. Honestly, I just feel like my spirits are lifted because I love being outside. I think spending more time outdoors is beneficial for all of us, and we need to make it a priority, now more than ever!   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -The importance of planning and making time in our schedule to get outside with family, friends, or even by yourself -How spending more time in nature can actually improve our overall health and well-being  -Why the scenery and environment where we live doesn’t really matter as long as we’re getting outside more   While there is no such thing as a “magic pill”, spending time outside is actually a form of preventative medicine in some countries, and it really can bring us the peace and calm we truly need (and crave). I want to encourage you to focus on being present, and take in all of the beauty around you. I can’t wait to hear all of the fun things you’ll be doing and experiencing when you spend more time outside this summer!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Perfectly Imperfect Membership-https://theheartofconfidence.com/membership. If you’re feeling like a hot mess and you know you need a change, or you’re just ready to level up and not sure where to start, you can try my new membership risk free for 7 days! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode115
Jun 6
11 min
4 Steps to Take to Bring More Fun into Your Life
Something I hear often from my coaching clients is the lack of fun they’re having in their lives. It’s pretty easy to get caught up in the busyness and day-to-day duties of having jobs, families, and all of the adult responsibilities. We don’t remember how to have fun, and we don’t even know what we enjoy anymore-sound familiar? You’re not alone if you feel this way, but I want to show you how bringing more fun into your life is totally doable!   In today’s episode, I’m talking about 4 steps to take so you can bring more fun into your life; we can do this by creating a 'fun' menu. I’ll dive into the importance of choosing things YOU want to do by yourself (and why you shouldn’t feel guilty about it), how to have fun with your partner and friends, simple ways to go about making your list, and more.    Whether you decide to try something you loved doing in your childhood, or you want to try something brand new you’ve always dreamt about doing, I want you to be open to new things, and get out of your comfort zone a bit. Life is too short to not have fun; it’s time to find our joy again, and I can’t wait to see what you come up with!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode114
May 30
19 min
How to Shift Our Thoughts When It Comes to Comparison
Do you get caught up in the comparison trap? You may look at someone you see often on social media, and you envy what she has-her house, her car, her relationship, her body, etc. Without even realizing it, you’ve put her up on a pedestal, and you beat yourself up for not being like her, or having everything she has. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone-I’ve definitely been guilty of this too!   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -Why comparing ourselves to others takes away from our own self-love, and all that we’ve done -My own story of only wanting to share the ‘good’ parts of a previous relationship -How we can learn to stop comparing and instead, be inspired to create better habits for our own lives   It’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap when we’re constantly seeing what others are doing around us-especially in the online world. Remember though-you’re more than likely only seeing the ‘highlight reel’, aka the best parts of other people’s lives. Let those people give you hope, and start thinking about a shift you can make to better your life for today, and for the future.   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode113
May 23
16 min
How to Break Free from Your Fear and Step into an Empowered Life with Susan Burrell
Have you struggled with letting fear hold you back from doing what you’re meant to do? We all experience setbacks throughout our lives, and while they may be unexpected, fear doesn’t have to keep us playing small, or feeling stuck. If this resonates with you, you won’t want to miss today’s episode where I get to chat with Susan Burrell, an amazing author, podcaster, intuitive healer, and spiritual guide.   Susan is a feisty Scorpio like myself, and she’s navigated life by learning how to listen within to the Divine urge that keeps pointing her in the direction of her life’s purpose. She is an empath, and she loves supporting women in their inner growth toward finding true empowerment. She even has her own thought-provoking podcast called “Empowering Chats with Susan”, because she loves being in conversation with people, and learning what they think and feel.   In today’s episode, we’re talking about: -Susan’s own story of feeling ‘broken’ and navigating a horrible divorce after almost 30 years of marriage -How she rediscovered herself and learned to weed out the negative thoughts and beliefs that no longer served her -The reasons why fear can hold us hostage  -How we can learn to step into our own empowerment, and realize that we are all precious and divine sparks   Susan gets so much joy from helping others find their brilliance and inner love. I felt truly empowered and lifted up after talking with her, and I have no doubt you will experience plenty of self-reflection when you listen to our incredible conversation too!   Check out Susan’s group on Facebook: Live Your Empowered Life If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode112
May 16
57 min
Why You Need to Believe in Yourself First
Do you struggle with pursuing your goals if you don’t feel like you’re being supported? Maybe your significant other, a family member, or close friend isn't showing you the support you were hoping for (or you think you need), so you stay stuck, and don’t move forward. If you have a big dream or goal you’re going after, I’m here to tell you that YOU have to believe in yourself before anyone else can.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -The importance of getting very specific when it comes to what you need from your support system -Why you don’t need validation from someone else -Why really evaluating your hesitations and concerns will help you to find the belief in yourself to move forward   I want you to really dig deep and think about what it will take for you to become the person you envision yourself to be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but also understand you can accomplish the things you want to as long as you know you can. You deserve to have a thriving, successful, and healthy life-I’m cheering you on, because I know you can do it!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode111
May 9
12 min
How to Positively Handle One Way Friendships
Have you ever dealt with a friendship where it was all one-sided, and no matter how much you did for the other person, they never seemed to care? Trust me when I say, I’ve experienced this first hand, and it can be super frustrating when you feel like you’re the only one contributing to the relationship.   In today’s episode, I’m sharing:  -My personal experience with a one way friendship, and what I learned during the process -Three things you can do to handle your friendship in a healthy way, or at least prevent it from fading away all together -How to recognize if you’re the friend who is doing all of the taking and no giving   I’ve learned that some friendships aren’t meant to last forever; sometimes we outgrow people, and that’s okay! At the end of the day, if you're being kind, loving, and honest with yourself and your friend, it will all work out like it’s supposed to.   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode110
May 2
17 min
9 Signs You May Be In a Toxic Relationship
Have you ever felt like something in your relationship is a little off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? Maybe you do recognize that your relationship is in a bad place, but you’re not sure how to improve it for the better, or if that’s even possible.   In today’s episode, I’m sharing 9 signs that you may be in a toxic relationship. Embarrassment, poor communication, dishonesty, and lack of self care are just a few of the topics I’ll be covering. I also want you to consider how these things may be affecting the relationship you have with yourself. Nope-it’s not just about negative relationships with your significant other, parent, boss, coworker, etc.   While it can be pretty difficult to change someone else’s toxic traits, we do have the power to change ourselves, which is amazing! I want you to start by being more aware of your thoughts, and what you’re saying, and over time, you can dramatically improve the relationship you have with yourself.   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by http://www.positivevibecoffeeco.com. Enter the code Podcast at checkout, and you’ll get 15% off your first order! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode109
Apr 25
20 min
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