Seven years ago I slept with someone when my body was telling me no. The next morning I wrote about it in my journal, crying, and in this episode I read you that entry word for word. It's about integrity, and what it costs to override yourself. Your intuition doesn't come from your head. It comes through the body, and every time you ignore the quiet no, it gets quieter. This one gets into what that does to your ability to trust yourself, and to build anything real. The entry is on page 57 of Crazy Love, out now. https://www.adamroa.com/crazylove

For the last month, I've had resistance to fully promoting my own book. Crazy Love is ten years of raw journal entries, and part of me has been embarrassed to let people meet who I used to be. In this episode I break down the actual difference between guilt, shame, and just being embarrassed, why forgiving your past self isn't about self love, it's about gratitude, and I walk through the two relationships that taught me this the hard way, including one boundary I had to cross before I ever knew it existed. Crazy Love is available now. Grab your copy at www.AdamRoa.com/crazylove If you'd like to watch the videos for these episodes, check out the youtube channel.

Three uncomfortable truths about relationships that most of us are no longer allowed to say out loud, and the science that backs each one. Adam unpacks hypergamy and the provider question, the fear of being alone that quietly makes us settle, and why the intense high we call love is often just anxiety wearing a costume. Drawn from the real journal entries behind his new book, Crazy Love. Not a lecture. A confession, and a map. Preorder Crazy Love at adamroa.com/crazylove.

There's a dating book that makes people, especially women, furious, and after reading the whole thing I found myself agreeing with about 90% of it. It's The Value of Others by Orion Taraban, and it makes a claim most of us don't want to hear: that if you strip the emotion out of dating and look at it as a pure exchange of value, a man's value tends to rise as he ages while a woman's mating value peaks younger. In this episode I walk through the entire model. The harbor full of captains and passengers. What men and women have actually valued across every culture we've studied. The biology underneath it that we keep pretending isn't there. And then the one place I think the book is dead wrong: the difference between mating value and dating value, and why understanding it changed how I date at 41. I don't think any of us have this figured out. So sit with it, argue with me in your own head, and if it moved something, leave a review and tell me where you think he's right and where he's lost the plot. The full picture of how modern dating got this hard is in my Modern Dating Is Broken masterclass: https://www.adamroa.com/modern-dating-is-broken Still finding your own direction? The Soul Scavenger Hunt: https://create.adamroa.com/soul-scavenger-hunt My book Crazy Love: https://www.adamroa.com/crazylove

The somatic experience of love in my body was unhealthy. What I felt and called love was not actually love, and it took me years to see it. In this episode I lay out the two things we're all doing without noticing. We're running from something, and we're running toward something, and the thing we navigate by is what we feel. What I was running from was a home where I never saw passion. What I was running toward was the passion I only ever felt in the movies. That set the feeling in my body to point at intensity instead of love. What finally changed is that I stopped chasing passion and started choosing peace. I found a partner who helps regulate my nervous system instead of spiking it, and I had to learn to trust how quiet that feels. We get into why the feeling you trust most is often the least reliable, why secure love can feel like something's missing at first, and what it's taken to finally trust it. Crazy Love is fifteen years of my journals, the poems and the heartbreak that taught me all of this. Get Your Copy: https://www.adamroa.com/crazylove

You cannot have a healthy relationship without safe communication. Here's how to give your partner hard feedback without it turning into a fight, using a six-step method I call the six Rs. If this topic stirred something in you, check out my 2.5 hour masterclass on modern dating: https://www.adamroa.com/modern-dating-is-broken And if you're interested in my new book, you can find it here: https://www.adamroa.com/crazylove

We treat "marry the person you love" like the oldest rule there is. It's about 200 years old. In this episode I dig into where the idea of marrying for love actually came from, why building a lifelong commitment on a feeling, the most volatile thing we experience, makes modern love so unstable, and what might actually hold two people together when the feeling goes quiet. I share some of my own story too, the years I spent confusing love with a feeling that comes and goes. It's one piece of my Modern Dating Is Broken masterclass. The full conversation is here: www.AdamRoa.com/modern-dating-is-broken

I burned out at the end of last year. So I did something I had never done in 13 years of building this thing. I stopped. And when I came back to promote my book, I hit a wall of resistance I couldn't think my way through. Instead of forcing it, I got quiet and asked what the resistance was actually protecting. This video is the honest version of what I found. The ego death. The identity I had to loosen my grip on after 13 years. And the practical steps I took to figure out what I actually want to build next. If you're in your own transition right now, this one is for you. The Soul Scavenger Hunt is a free self-reflection experience to help you hear what your own resistance is pointing you toward. https://create.adamroa.com/soul-scavenger-hunt And my book, Crazy Love, is on its way. Poems and raw journal entries about love, heartbreak, and healing. I can't wait to put it in your hands. https://www.adamroa.com/crazylove

"Where did all the good men go?" Women ask it constantly, and the honest answer is harder than either side wants to admit: a lot of good men didn't turn bad. They quietly walked away. In this episode I break down what's really happening to men in modern dating, why the bar we're asking them to clear became impossible in a single generation, with no role models and no map, and why it isn't the fault of anyone the way we tend to think. It's one piece of my Modern Dating Is Broken masterclass. If it lands, the full conversation goes deeper here: https://www.adamroa.com/modern-dating-is-broken 

I posted a one-minute video telling men to get in shape. Women in the comments said it was bad advice. One of them said women don't want the gym bro with big biceps. They want the kind, emotionally intelligent man with the dad bod. The response says so much about the state of masculine/feminine relationships right now and points to why men are struggling to understand what to do. This podcast breaks down this situation from a variety of angles and aims to help you spot the dangerous thought patterns before you fall victim to them. This Sunday I'm hosting a free live masterclass called Modern Dating Is Broken. This video is the foundation for that conversation. If it landed for you, come deeper. https://www.adamroa.com/modern-dating-is-broken