In this episode, we dive into the art of observing other people's feelings without taking them on as our own. Join us as we explore practical strategies for maintaining emotional boundaries in close relationships with family, friends, and partners. Discover the role emotional regulation plays in this process, and get inspired by our hopes for finding real-life ways to practice this approach. Tune in for insightful conversations and tips on how to stay empathetic yet emotionally grounded.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Observing not absorbing [1:36] Being empathetic and supportive without taking on another person's emotions as your own Therapists suggest supporting loved ones without absorbing their distress, emphasizing that empathy should not involve taking on someone else's sadness or anxiety. It can be challenging to separate one's own feelings from those of others, especially in close relationships, and there's a tendency to feel responsible for making others feel better.Relearning communication and trust in marriage [10:11] Scott reflects on how life experiences have made him more guarded in his marriage, withdrawing emotional vulnerability and being more careful with his words. Recognizing the need to relearn how to support his wife, Shate Hayes, in a safe and non-absorbing manner. Acknowledging the importance of giving your spouse the space to solve their own problems and be a partner in their marriage.Empathy and boundaries in therapy [17:45] Discussion on emotion regulation and avoidance in men. Seeking to balance helping others with maintaining personal boundaries. The approach to empathy- hearing people's hearts without trying to control their emotions. The importance of empathy and self-determination in therapy.Navigating personal relationships while maintaining professional boundaries [23:41] The struggle with navigating close relationships without absorbing others' emotions. Scott Hayes emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in his work as a therapist, particularly when clients make decisions that go against his advice. The challenge of balancing the need to be productive with the need to be empathetic and supportive, even when clients are not ready for the work required.Navigating emotions and conflicts in a relationship [24:08] Setting boundaries and seeking help for recurring problems. Recognizing limitations in providing support and suggesting seeking help from others. Finding a way to support each other emotionally without judgment or expectations. The need for validation and redirection in relationships. Navigating conflicts in relationships, acknowledging the importance of allowing emotions to move through both parties. The need to navigate emotions without trying to run over them, just like navigating around obstacles on a bike or in a car.THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION: Rate us on ⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠, or follow and subscribe to our channel on ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend.* Purchase our ⁠⁠merch⁠⁠— there’s a great selection on our website.**A portion of our proceeds goes towards our therapy fund for Black adults..TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

Join us for this insightful conversation with special guest, Dr. Cicely Brathwaite–psychologist, consultant, and author of Self-Care Activities for Women: 101 Practical Ways to Slow Down and Reconnect With Yourself. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: Focus on Self-Care and Systemic Impacts [4:30] The realization during the dissertation on African American women that societal messages discourage self-care among welfare recipients. Concern over cognitive decline observed in family members (grandmother and great aunts) led to exploring health disparities and preventive measures. Recognition that environments influenced by racism and sexism contribute to health disparities among Black individuals. Self-care can help mitigate negative systemic impacts. The role of pleasure and well-being practices in counteracting societal challenges. Aim to make self-care a legacy for 1 million Black individuals, integrating it into their everyday lives and passing it on to future generations. Importance of Teaching Self-Cares [15:08] The historical roots of self-care stigma. The negative associations with rest and self-care dating back to times of enslavement. Reference to how enslaved ancestors were plied with liquor during times of rest, associating leisure with negativity. Generational differences in attitudes towards self-care, with previous generations focusing more on survival and work ethic. Cultural and systemic barriers that hinder individuals from prioritizing self-care, such as a 24/7 work culture and internalized programming. Self-care is a pathway to empowerment, allowing individuals to take control of their health and well-being. The 3 types of self-care: Regular, Restorative and Responsive.  Embracing Diverse Self-Care Practices and Family Traditions [29:20] Some coping mechanisms used in the past were effective for their time and circumstances, even if they might not be suitable today. This perspective helps release feelings of judgment towards oneself and others for past behaviors. The significant role of family-led prayers, has played in maintaining family resilience and well-being. This tradition deserves acknowledgment and respect. Valuing the tradition of learning and recording family recipes from elders as a way to preserve heritage and strengthen family bonds. Creating a playlist of songs that evoke joy as a practical and enjoyable self-care activity. This playlist can be used to uplift spirits and maintain positive emotions. Developing and practicing responses to microaggressions helps manage emotional triggers and maintain composure in challenging situations. Acknowledging the value of naps as a restorative and necessary form of self-care, Recognizing naps as essential for functioning optimally. Overcoming Resistance and Embracing Growth in Self-Care Practices [35:21] Revisit unsuccessful activities. Persistence fosters growth and healing through continuous effort. Understand that the brain resists change due to negativity bias, helping to develop new habits despite discomfort. Adopt a mindset of trying new activities multiple times to overcome initial discomfort and accurately assess their value. Embrace all aspects of your personality and interests. Persistence in bringing groups together reflects the importance of integrating all facets of life. THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION: Rate us on ⁠Apple⁠ or ⁠Spotify⁠, or follow and subscribe to our channel on ⁠YouTube⁠. Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend.* Purchase our ⁠merch⁠— there’s a great selection on our website.* *A portion of our proceeds goes towards our therapy fund for Black adults. RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcicelybrathwaite/ Schedule a consultation: https://www.cicelybrathwaite.com/ Check out her books: https://www.cicelybrathwaite.com/books CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:  Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]

Join this special convo with Brandon Scott, CEO and Co-Founder of Tequila with Friends, a Dallas-based tequila brand. After a surprising Type 1 diabetes diagnosis during his first semester of college, Brandon discovered that tequila was the only type of liquor that his body metabolized well. Now 15 years later, he ties some of his fondest moments to tequila and the people around him who’ve supported his journey.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Navigating Diagnosis and Acceptance [0:00] Being diagnosed with type one diabetes during the first day at the University of Texas at Austin.  The importance of having supportive friends who encourage seeking medical help and providing emotional support during the diagnosis process.  Navigating misdiagnosis and quickly learning how to manage the condition.  Humor and coping mechanisms help deal with the challenges of living with diabetes. Embracing the condition as part of his  life story while refusing to let it define him entirely.Fostering Inclusivity and Support in Communities [14:35] Normalizing health conditions within communities reduce stigma and ostracization. Take time to educate oneself and others about managing health conditions. The significance of offering support and assistance to individuals with health challenges, creates a welcoming and inclusive environment. Promoting a communal mindset where everyone brings their own "baggage," fostering a sense of understanding and solidarity.The journey of acceptance [19:06] Frustration and helplessness are reactions when diagnosed with an illness upon diagnosis,  Taking control of the situation and acknowledging the importance of personal support networks. Sharing experiences with others and providing encouragement to those facing similar challenges can be helpful.  The importance of resilience and perseverance through various stages. Pay attention to your body and seek medical attention when necessary.Nurturing Health with Accountability [33:17] How to navigate health challenges and grief without shame. Avoiding deprivation and recognizing it as unsustainable and unrealistic. Focus on balance and self-awareness instead. Pay attention to how your body responds to alcohol consumption, and consult a doctor if experiencing adverse reactions. The possibility of alcohol allergies or intolerances if experiencing discomfort after drinking. Drinking responsibly and in moderation. Pay attention to how you feel during and after consumption, and make adjustments accordingly.THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION: Rate us on Apple or Spotify, or follow and subscribe to our channel on YouTube. Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend.* Purchase our merch— there’s a great selection on our website.**A portion of our proceeds goes towards our therapy fund for Black adults.RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: Tequilla with Friends website: https://www.tequilawithfriends.com/ Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tequilawithfriends/ Visit their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tequilawithfriends/ Email them at: [email protected] Give Brandon a follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brankscott/?hl=en TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

Both God and therapy are essential to any healing journey. For this replay of our first live podcast event, we’re joined by Broderick McBride—intercessor, teacher, and mental health advocate who fully believes that mental health and spirituality go hand-in-hand. Take a listen to discover how they’ve helped him overcome trauma and depression, and practical tips to help you, too.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Trauma, grief, and healing through therapy and self-discovery [3:59] Some relationships with trauma may actually start from the womb. Finding one's voice and being their own person, creates a safe space for expression despite difficult circumstances. The power of prayer and having faith in God helps in overcoming trauma.Unlearning harmful beliefs and healing through therapy [16:52] Inspiring individuals to embrace therapy as a means of fostering self-awareness and personal growth. Fostering a growth mindset that embraces vulnerability, honesty, and openness in conversations about creates a safe and supportive environment Urging a shift towards integrating spirituality and therapy to cultivate a more fulfilling life journey.Navigating the Influence of Fathers: Overcoming Perfectionism and Redefining Masculinity [17:09] Fathers play a significant role in shaping perceptions of masculinity, often instilling a sense of perfectionism and adherence to traditional ideals. Avoiding therapy due to fear that admitting struggles detracts from success or masculinity.Mental health and Christianity [21:04] The importance of self-awareness and personal growth through therapy and spiritual practices. Jesus' teachings show that healing is within us, not in external actions The importance of self-awareness and personal growth through therapy and spiritual practices.Healing, Boundaries and Relationships [38:14] Experiences of healing and forgiveness, confronting past traumas and negative emotions. Setting boundaries in relationships may initially cause friction but will ultimately lead to healing and growth. We may lose friends and family as we learn to prioritize our own needs in relationships.THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION: Rate us on ⁠Apple⁠ or you can follow and subscribe to us on ⁠YouTube⁠  Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend* Purchase our merch, there’s a lot of selection on our website**A portion of our proceeds are going towards our therapy fund for Black adults.RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:Follow Broderick on Instagram: @broderick.mcbrideBroderick’s Facebook account: https://www.facebook.com/people/Broderick-L-McBride/Visit Broderick’s website: https://www.broderickmcbride.com/TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

We’re always talking man to man, but today’s episode is for the ladies. Join us for a few thoughts for the Black women in our lives from a Black man’s perspective.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Mental health and emotional wellness for Black men [4:11] The importance of creating a safe space for black men to share their experiences and heal Scott’s story of feeling like a failure as a man, feeling isolated in his struggles, and his journey towards mental wealth Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community.The struggles that men face these days [10:43] The pressure to be an ideal spouse on social media The disconnect between marriages on social media vs. marriages in real life  The idea that there’s only a certain level of happiness that men are allowed to have Our continual journey towards “learning themselves” [15:47]  Learning not to love excessively Setting boundaries  Having empathy and openness within relationships  The whole journey of healing is learning ourselves for the first timeWhat men want women to know [21:31] There’s power in admitting that “I’m still learning myself”  Getting rid of toxic masculinity Accepting that men can be emotional The struggle of “assertive communication” Balancing love with boundary Grace with guidance [31:57] Gathering and talking with people navigating the same journey  Having a brave space that holds each other accountable  Choosing to have difficult, honest conversations rather than developing resentment Biggest lessons around healing as a Black man [39:53] The answers are not required  Honor whatever you have—especially when there were moments that you didn’t have any There is joy to be found and being able to be on the journeyIf you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at [email protected] THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION: Rate us on Apple or you can follow and subscribe to us on YouTube  Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend* Purchase our merch, there’s a lot of selection on our website**A portion of our proceeds are going towards therapy for Black adultsRESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:Listen to Out Of My Mind, song  by Erykah BaduListen to It's A Man's World, song by James BrownListen to Come to the Light, song by Jill ScottListen to Slowly Surely, song by Jill ScottTO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

Join us for a special convo with Ashley Sutton, founder and CEO of Hustle and Hope Cards. From facing rejection to grinding, making room for faith, and much more, we unpack what it means to have both hustle and hope.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:The story of Hustle and Hope Cards [3:23] Ashley’s relationship with hustle and hope How Ashley grew up with innate entrepreneurial spirit  Balancing hustle and hope Why greeting cards are the best [13:26] A great way to acknowledge and encourage someone’s effort  A lovely way to say ‘I see you’ and ‘I acknowledge your hard work’  Hustle and Hope Cards’ special free guide on how to give and receive gratitude How greeting cards are bringing back genuine thoughtfulness and communication between peopleHustle and Hope Cards’ impact [16:50]  Getting rid of the stigma that cards are cheap and insignificant  Sending the message “I see you and I want to help you” through greeting cards Supporting the idea that handmade gifts are actually thoughtful and the nicest thing that anybody could do for another  Seeing ‘hustle,’ which usually has a negative connotation, in a positive light  The harmony between hustle and hope  Having a passion that fills your own and other people’s cup Greeting card business tips [29:59]  Having a sell sheet with all the necessary details  Being ready for rejection (because it will happen)  Being ‘teachable’ amidst rejections Biggest lessons around hustle and hope [34:00]  Keep your business grounded in purpose and intention It’s hard to have faith and hope, but you have to have it  Don’t control anything; make space for God’s miracles  Just because the results look different doesn’t mean you’re failingRESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:Follow Ashley on Instagram: @hustleandhopeVisit Hustle and Hope Cards’ website: https://hustleandhopecards.com/ Listen to You Gotta Be, a song by Des’reeListen to Who’s That Girl, a song by EveListen to Hustle Hard, a song by Ace Hood and Rick RossTO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

We’ve been thinking a lot about chaos vs peace. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the idea of changing our default setting, specifically when that default is chaos.We invite you to reflect on your default setting and consider the possibility of embracing peace amidst life's chaos. Remember, healing is a journey, and every step towards self-discovery is a victory worth celebrating. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Default setting of chaos and destabilization [1:43] The constant cycle of being displeased with yourself  A pattern of self-doubt and dissatisfaction  The struggle to let go of the idea that you should keep moving to the next level  How boredom triggers you to find chaos  Our constant desire to find chaos is rooted from the feeling of not enoughness  Unhealthy comparison (i.e. your life vs. others’ lives as seen on social media) can contribute to the feeling of not enoughness  The belief that too much happiness is a prelude to something awfulNOT choosing chaos over peace [12:03]  How Shaté, who’s always chosen peace, chose chaos in her finances  Learning to be grateful for what you have and acknowledging answered prayers  How not to have a regret-filled life  Finding joy and gratitude in where you are now instead of continuing to search for it Let’s talk about healing—changing/reprogramming your default settings [19:51]  Changing the narrative that you're telling yourself Changing the way you talk to yourself—language matters!  Remembering that wherever you are in life:  There are so many things to be grateful for  You worked hard for it and you deserve credit Actionable steps to reprogram your default settings [27:24]  Evaluating why you need help  Determining the change you want to see  Developing a treatment plan  Shaté encourages seeking help from a therapist/accountability buddy or any type of mentor who could keep you in check  Not being to hard on yourself and remembering that healing is NOT linear Biggest lessons around choosing peace [34:27]  Always factor in peace when making decisions—you won’t ever go wrong Never allow people step over the boundaries you’ve set for yourself Friends, we’re very happy to announce our first live podcast event in the Atlanta area, and it’s happening in March.A portion of all of our proceeds are going towards subsidizing or covering the cost of therapy for black adults. More details soon, hope to see you there!  RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: The Big Leap, book by Gay Hendricks Listen to Ep. 48: Mental health matters with Stephanie Westbrook Listen to Ep. 45: Healing our relationship with money w/Ranauldo & Liz Wright Listen to Hello, song by Aqyila Listen to Reset III, song by Isaac Carree TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

In a world that often demands our constant attention and care for others, it's easy to overlook the most crucial relationship of all—the one we have with ourselves.We’re back with a new look and new name, but the healing vibes are still the same! Join our first convo as Healing Myself to discover why it's so important to heal your relationship with yourself first.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Why is it so important to save/heal yourself first? [3:21] Don’t let your trauma become who you are Healing yourself first gives you the opportunity to have healthy relationships with others  You show up differently when you’re healed Being intentional with the way you talk to yourself and to others The value of saving yourself—the hard parts [7:06] How people show up could be a reflection of the demons they’re fighting  Being careful with you who you emulate  The importance of communicating what you need  Realizing that you are enough is they key to a healthy relationship with yourself and others The moment you stopped trusting yourself What happened that made you second guess yourself?The value of saving yourself—the healing [15:13]  Having the mindset to move towards the life you aspire  Setting a vision and relentlessly working make it happen  It’s hard when the villains seem to be winning  The tedious journey towards that realization that you are valuable and worthy By not communicating what you need in a relationship, you are doing yourself a great disservice What makes healing harder than you thought [23:17]  Setting boundaries and seeing it through (it’s  hard!)  Choosing yourself could feel uncomfortable  You DON’T need to hold yourself to impossible standards Biggest lessons around healing yourself [31:10] Choosing yourself needs an every day practice  Your relationship with yourself is the most important one  Healing yourself is a continual process RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:The Love Haze: Episode 55, "SOS...Saving OurSelves"Listen to On & On, song by Erykah Badu Listen to I’m Doin’ Me, song by FantasiaListen to They Just Don’t Know, song by GyftTO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

We’ve spent the last three years and change having some of the most cathartic, transparent and transformative conversations about stuck places, the hazes, and healing all parts of us. And now it's time for more. We believe what’s next is gonna blow our minds! Join us as we talk through that and two special announcements. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Knowing when it is time to pivot [5:08] When a normal routine starts to feel uncomfortable  Feeling exhausted and burnt out  Pivoting doesn’t always mean knowing exactly what the next steps would be The haze of pivoting [15:01] Leaving your area of your comfort is a daunting pursuit  The older you get, the more there are at stake  Relinquishing control is a concept that is hard to grasp despite the reality that none of us ever really have it  Navigating the haze [20:42] Getting used to the idea that things will not always go our way Doing the right thing despite not seeing the desired outcome Acknowledging fear but moving forward anyway Biggest lessons surrounding pivoting [26:51]  You can pivot… and still not be irresponsible and reckless  Understanding that walking into your purpose is NOT pain-freeMade for more announcements and reminders [36:21] Shaté’s participation in Rachel Rodgers’ business coaching certification program The Love Haze is evolving into something more, something bigger…  Healing is NOT being selfishTO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

Here’s one more episode from one of the podcasts we’ve had the pleasure of joining over the past few months. In this episode, we joined forces with Celeste the Therapist and really dug deep on healing the Black community. Traumas, triggers, and even slavery came up on this one. Hard truths and healing revelations, y’all.WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:Therapy, religion and suffering [4:24] Struggling with depression in the church Long suffering, hellfire and brimstone as badges of honor The roots of Christianity and slavery The scarcity mindsetThe turning point [7:13]  Personal therapy Being everything for everyone else  Realizing when your needs changeBlack men and mental health [11:23] How black men have to show up in spaces  The idea that men have to be stoic  Using vices to cover up emotions Functioning but unable to hold weight Stuffing feelings away Racial trauma The tendency to suffer in silence Black women and mental health [16:11] People pleasing and anxiety Unlearning things as an adult Reading and learning different perspectives Physical manifestations of emotional painBlack women in corporate America [27:28]  Watching your face and reactions as a black woman in corporate America Having conversations in the workplace about race  The importance of self-advocacy and articulationCreating The Love Haze [30:38] A space to speak truth  Having conversations no one was having Guilt vs. shame Figuring out the art of transitionThe struggle to begin [39:19] Making choices towards who you’re trying to become  Accepting fear and evolving from it Seeing yourself as something other than what you are currentlyRESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:Listen to Black Folk, song by Tank and The BangasTO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.