“Shame needs secrecy to survive”
Disclaimer: What we talk about on In My Truth tends to be very raw and can be triggering. In this episode there is talk of suicide and depression. If these are a triggers for you, we recommend skipping this episode and joining us again in the next one. Resources for support and help are included at the end of show notes - scroll down for more information.
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Welcome everyone to this episode of In My Truth!
It’s been a little while since I last recorded an episode. The last episode with Lisa Gadd was recorded while I was in Bali, and today I’m back home in Colorado speaking to my friend Tom Clutter in Omaha, Nebraska.
Tom and I met on Instagram and I’m super excited to have him on the show to dive into the truths and untruths he is currently grappling with.
Tom Clutter has worked as a chef, in software implementations and consulting, and competes in triathlons. He still cooks on the side, but is working out where that currently fits in his life.
So, let’s dive into what Tom is working through right now.
In between a potential career transition, Tom is drafting a book and speaks to how it is impacting his mental health and the mental health of friends and family around him, especially as it deals with sensitive subject matter including the suicide of his uncle.
“How do I be gentle with the truth as I’m speaking it?”
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Join your host Sarah Riegelhuth as she’s joined by Tom Clutter in this episode of In My Truth, as they dive into the process of storytelling and why we feel the need the tell stories publicly, and all the ways this permeates in their lives.
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“I know my truth. I know it is to keep going. But far out, right now it really sucks.”
Like many of us, Sarah and Tom deal with sharing parts of themselves publicly and the impact that has on our loved ones. In particular, Sarah’s mum had questions when she shared a story about sex.
How has your circle reacted to your public shares?
Tom and Sarah also get vulnerable with the untruths they’re living with around:
- our parents’ reactions to what we share
- how we process the death of a loved one
- drug use, drinking and partying
- who we’re hurting along the way
- normalisation of things we wrangle with
- shame
- the benefits of sharing
- how we protect our families by not sharing
- generational differences
- how our childhood memories differ from our siblings’
- the vastness of the internet and not knowing who is reading our content
- journalling
- not writing the ‘right way’
- writing for the right reasons
- the integrity behind our sharing
- examining our mental health
- how running and writing fit together
- self-medicating
- attracting sensitive souls into our lives
- busy-ness to avoid feeling
- what our self care actually looks like
- the content we consume
- rest and recovery
- being honest with ourselves
“Maybe when I wasn’t living my truth, that’s all my family knows, and they’re going to be devastated when they find out that wasn’t the truth at all.”
“I can going running for 7 to 9 hours because I used to do really unhealthy things to my brain for 7 to 9 hours, that were fun at the time!, and it’s really hard to explain to people who have a perspective on that.”
“Am I a super sensitive person? Yes, I always have been. But are other people also sensitive and they’re just pushing it all down, or is it really a thing?”
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“It’s digging up stuff that some people aren’t ready, in this moment, to think about”
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Remember you’re not alone, and there is hope, even though it may not feel that way at times. Talk to someone, a friend or family member and let them support you. Reach out to a professional. Do whatever you need to do to start your journey back to feeling good.
Here are some resources I found on Google (because I am not a professional, these are not recommendations, just suggestions with love and empathy from me to you):
Lifeline (Australia): 13-11-14 is a confidential telephone crisis support service available 24/7 from a landline, payphone or mobile.
Beyond Blue (Australia): 1-300-22-4636 OR chat online between 3pm & 12am 7 days a week
No Shame On You (USA): 1-800-273-(TALK) 8255 OR text 741741 for a 24/7 crisis text line (a live, trained crisis counsellor receives the text and responds quickly) OR visit I’m Alive for 24/7 online crisis chat
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Services (Canada): 1-833-456-4566 OR text 45645 between 4pm and 12am daily
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