Breaking up from an unhealthy relationship can leave you feeling destroyed, pulled apart and broken. That was how Phil Walker felt after detaching himself from a destructive relationship and suffering through the year from hell. After coming to the gritty realisation that people can have a darker side, Phil gave himself time to come out of denial, see the truth for what it was and “be with” what was going on. Now, Phil uses this terrible time in his life to help others recovering from unhealthy relationships, in his work as a counsellor. It’s a gritty chat, with lots of practical tips. Let's dive in to Phil’s story of being a bit more gritty.Link to article “The Narcissist in Your Life: The Best Teacher You'll Ever Have”:https://www.huffpost.com/entry/understanding-nacissism_b_4176986Books Phil mentioned:“Lifeworks” by Amanda Ferguson“Set Yourself Free” by Shirley SmithYou can contact Phil Walker here:Website: https://newbeginningstherapy.co.nz/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newbeginningstherapy1Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/philwalkercounsellingYou can find Phil’s free resource “mygreatrelationships” here:https://philwalkernz.kartra.com/page/optinShare your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Mentoring, loss, legacy, and living from a place of heart and soul are the key themes of this interview with Psychotherapist, Coach and Trainer, Renee McDonald. All of us are touched by grief at some point in life. For Renee the loss of Sophie, a work colleague, friend and *Supervisee, altered the trajectory of her life. This is a beauty from ashes story about the profound kindness and generosity of Sophie and the legacy her passing has birthed through Renee, of the heart and soul movement.“Grief can be a change-piece...”This is Renee & Sophie's story, it is a beautiful story, gently told. A Question for you to ponder:What legacy do you want your life to leave?PLEASE NOTE: There are strong themes of death and dying in this episode that might be upsetting for some people. So please take care of yourself.* For those who don’t know what a supervisee or supervisor is…all Counsellors, Psychologists and Social workers need to have what’s called supervision, where we meet with another experienced therapist, or supervisor, to discuss our work. This is not only practical and helpful for us as therapists, but it is an ethical requirement to ensure best practice. You can contact Renee here:Website: https://reneemcdonald.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/renee.thereseInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/renee_mcdonald_official/You can purchase Renee’s latest book, “Rising with Butterfly Courage” here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Rising-Butterfly-Courage-Flipping-Slowing/dp/1959840703/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Smoke signals, brown outs and full blown burnout are the warning signs of the over worked and over committed! Your brain and your body send up smoke signals when there’s an imbalance between your work life, and after work life! Danger, Danger Will Robinson. You cannot keep going on like this, something needs to change! The question is, are you listening? Burnout is an awful thing to go through. It can look like exhaustion, a lack of focus at work, a lack of compassion, and not being as methodical as usual, making mistakes or missing things or worse, a complete mental breakdown! This episode is all about burnout, what it is, why you shouldn’t ignore it and how bringing some balance back into your work life and after work life is the key! It’s time to step back and pay attention to those smoke signals your brain and body are sending. “it's not the load that breaks you, it's how you carry it"Instructions to do a Work/Life Audit:Start by getting honest with yourself, have a bit of a think about what is happening. This is not about shame, or beating yourself up…this is about being honest about figuring out where you are at in your relationship with work and what you might need to change? Zoom right out and look at your life from a bird’s eye point of view, and ask yourself these questions:What does my work life look like at the moment? In what areas am I struggling?How much of my life just revolves around work? How often do I put off going home just so I can get more work done?What does my after work downtime look like? Does it refresh me?What do I do to help me de-stress?Where am I at with my family and social relationships?What activities do I spend my after work time on?Was my last holiday more than 12 months ago? 2years? Longer? Now, zoom in on what you can tweak/adjust in your work life and after work life to help you deal with burnout? Start with the little things….In those areas I identified that I am struggling with at work at the moment, what small change could I try that might help?What small thing can I add, or prioritise, in my day or week to help relieve some of my stress?How might I best help myself at the moment?Recommended Reading: “BURNOUT - A Guide to Identifying Burnout and Pathways to Recovery” by Gordon Parker, Gabriela Tavella and Kerrie Eyers.Seek Help: If you just don’t know how to change anything, or if you think you cannot possibly add another thing into your jam-packed schedule or it’s all too overwhelming then please get some help from a coach or a counsellor or a medical professional.Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Depression is not your identity, it's not who you are! Depression is something you experience! It steals your joy, snuffs out your spark and erodes your motivation. Did you catch that? Depression does this to you. There are some things you might be doing, or some habits you have that might be making it worse though. I'll talk you through some small changes you can make to take back some control and let a little hope seep back in! Take care of you, you're the only you we've got!* Please remember that you cannot diagnose or treat a condition off a podcast. If you are or someone you love is experiencing the symptoms of Depression, you don't have to suffer in silence. I strongly encourage you to reach out to a qualified health care professional, like your Doctor or Counsellor, or get in touch with the many awesome services that are available 24/7, such as Lifeline or, Beyond Blue.For those who want to dig a bit deeper, here are some Journal prompts:What does Depression do to you or someone you love?What small change could you try?What's stopping you?Describe what it would be like if Depression had no power over you?Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Do you know what it means when someone says "be gentle with yourself?" Part of it is how you speak to yourself when you mess up. I wonder... What does your inner voice sound like? Are you hard on yourself, beating yourself up and castigating yourself? Or are you compassionate and understanding of yourself? This is not about shaming you, it is about empowering you with the tools you need to practice self compassion and "in" courage yourself! Here are some journal prompts for those who want to go deeper."In" courage Journal prompts:How would you act if you knew you were 100% worthy of love and care?What would it look like to be gentle on yourself?..... What else?What would you say to a dear friend if they were going through what you're going through?..... Now write that to yourself, using your name.I'd love to know how you go with this.Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Want to feel happier and more content in life? In this episode Karen AD will teach you how to reduce stress, anxiety and depression as well as improve your relationships and ability to cope, by making it an end of day habit to look for the gold and count your blessings!Tinkerbell was on to something when she said you have to think happy thoughts, with a little bit of gold dust to fly!The more you do this, the happier and healthier you will feel.Steps for looking for the gold and counting your blessings:Try it for yourself, do this at the end of the day for a week and notice how you feel. Use these 3 steps to count your blessings: Notice, Savour, ExpressNotice: At the end of each day, think about your day and what was good about it, what went well, or what helped you during the day. Then name 3 blessings in your life/3 things that you are grateful for.Savour: After you’ve named your 3 blessings, go deeper, really absorb and pay attention to those good things. Ask yourself: Why did this good thing happen? Or: This was a blessing because….Express: Express gratitude. This could be as simple as writing it down, drawing or painting it, taking a photo, singing it. Whatever blows your hair back.I’d really love to know how you go with this, send me a message through the link below.Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Pastor and artist, Jo-ellen Bouttell shares how her relationship with God helped her journey through breast cancer without fear, and how the experience set her onto a path of painting women nude! In this episode, Jo gets real about how the biggest battle she fought was in her mind, explaining in detail how she got through it by putting good stuff into her brain, which affected her feelings, words and actions. Jo also shares her newfound passion for promoting body positivity in women after she heard God say “too long have my daughters carried hatred towards themselves and I want to see them set free” and, armed with a paintbrush, she set about painting women in all their stunning glory, showing them as they really are! It’s a cracker of an episode, see you inside.The Bible verses Jo quotes can be found in:Philippians 4:8Proverbs 4You can find Jo-Ellen here:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joellenbouttell76 Instagram: instagram.com/joellenbouttellJo’s vibrant artwork is available here:www.joellenb.com.au Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Just imagine being strong, fit and healthy and taking good care of yourself, only to discover when you're sitting at your desk working one day, your watch starts sending alerts that your heart is racing…leading to the discovery of an 8 cm aneurysm (like a balloon) inside your aortic valve in your heart… and eventually life saving open heart surgery! Even though you feel perfectly healthy. This is what happened to my little brother 15 months ago, and this is his story. Lean in and listen to this sweet man share what happened, and how he got through his personal lifequake, his Everest!Instagram link to the bearded geniushttps://www.instagram.com/the_bearded_genius/Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

Ever wondered how to separate someone else's issues from your own?In this episode I'll teach you a great little question to ask so that you can figure it out."Is that an Ish you?  or an ish me?"We need to take responsibility for our own stuff (our ISHMEs) and stop taking responsibility for other people's stuff (their ISHYOUs). The problem is, we assume our point of view is King! We are the person in the middle, for where we stand, the middle is!Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio

When all you want to do is lose your biscuit, it can be really hard to calm yourself down!This episode gives you some practical tools to help you manage the space inside you, beginning with your headspace. It is possible to break out of that continous loop that plays in your head when you're feeling all the feelings. "we can choose to not react, to not get caught up in the loop. We can choose to keep our calm in and stand firm"Journal prompts - to really get your head around this, I encourage you to write and answer these questions in a journal…How can I manage the space inside of me?How can I move from why is this happening…to how can I get through this?Reflect on a time you felt an uncomfortable emotion, write down what happened, paying particular attention to how you reacted, observe in your mind’s eye what was going on inside of you, see if you can label the feelings, imagine yourself pausing and taking some deep breaths and write down how that would have changed things…Share your takeaways from this episode with Karen ADOn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecounsellingstudio/On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecounsellingstudio