Totally Onboard
Totally Onboard
Sara Garfinkel, Brittany Howk
Just two gals chit-chattin’ about the glamour and reality of show biz on (and off) the high seas. Ever wonder what happens beyond those “Crew Only” doors? Romance, guest encounters, gossip, pirates, mermaids, the whole shebang. "Naut" your average girls, Brittany and Sara are two singing and dancing best friends and cast-mates. Meet us on the gangway for what is sure to be a hull of a time!
SEASON FINALE: A Box of Chocolates
Season 2 FINALE. Britt and Sara wrap up their second season with an episode just like a box of chocolates... You never know what you're going to get! Well, laughs and relatable content are always guaranteed ;) Listen in for their current Top Fives, favorite jokes, table topics, "would you rather," and lots of fun in between.
Feb 26, 2021
39 min
Career Day: "Smile and Nod" with Stephen Lugowe
Dinners with the moms of famous people, breaking up karaoke fights, and accusations of identity theft... Hear the deets of all of this and more in this “Career Day” episode with the incredibly talented Assistant Cruise Director, Stephen Lugowe. Stephen recounts wild guest encounters, the best parts of the difficult job, and other ship insights you won’t want to miss.
Feb 19, 2021
55 min
Storytime: Wild Hookups
Looking to get into the sweet romantic mood of Valentine’s Day? Well, keep looking because this ain’t it. Instead, treat yourself to a series of risqué, dangerous, embarrassing, and downright hilarious vignettes of onboard hookups - all submitted by fellow performers and ship crew. Get your daily fix of ~tea~ as Britt and Sara read and react to these truly wild rollercoaster stories.
Feb 12, 2021
49 min
Drunksplanations
How do ships float? They spend HOW MUCH on alcohol in a year?! These questions and others... ANSWERED. Well, kind of. Drunk Brittany and Sara do their best to give you the fun facts and explanations of ships that they know absolutely nothing about, fueled by a little liquid courage. Do they know how much the anchor weighs? Can they make an even remotely close guess? Find out with some giggles and outrageous guesses- This episode is a truly embarrassing treat.
Feb 5, 2021
1 hr 4 min
Career Day: Wardrobe Supervisor Damien Ross
“Just me, iTunes, and some sequins…” -Damien Ross. It’sssss Career Day, and this is a good one. Join Britt, Sara, and their previous wardrobe supervisor for an exclusive look at what happens backstage with costumes and dressing. Born a performer, rocked the drag queen ~lewk~ in the original cast of Pricilla Queen of the Desert, then became a self-taught costumer with credits in Wicked, Hamilton, and Frozen (among many others), Damien truly knows all the ins-and-outs. He is currently working as the Deputy of Wardrobe for Magic Mike Live in Sydney, Australia. Damien has worked the full industry... Stage, screen, and behind-the-scenes. Not only that, but he oozes passion and talent for his work. Don’t miss this one!
Jan 29, 2021
50 min
Covid, Confidential Contracts, and Other Calamities
Well that took a while... Wondering where your favorite girls have been? This week Brittany and Sara catch you up on the Covid-19 drama, the contracts they've been keeping secret, and the lofty goals they have for 2021...with some random stories in between. Don't miss Totally Onboard's first episode of 2021 with all the *JUICY* updates you've all been waiting for.
Jan 22, 2021
37 min
Crazy Ship Sh**
We all know that cruise ships have grown to be floating cities with amenities out the wazoo, but how extreme does it get? Today, Britt and Sara tackle the “wtf” category of ship features, including submarines, breweries, top deck Go-Kart tracks, and more. These ships are EXTRA (even without Britt and Sara onboard)!
Dec 11, 2020
1 hr
Holiday Gift Guide
Holidays sneak up on you? Never fear, today Britt and Sara team up to bring you a holiday gift guide to help you out with all of those special people in your life. There are sure to be some unique and fun ideas, so get ready to make your Christmas list and have a little fun along the way!
Dec 4, 2020
50 min
Storytime: They Found Love in a Floating Place
This may seem crazy to hear after listening to Britt and Sara bash officers and other romantic endeavors in the previous episode, but there are some beautiful true love stories that bloom onboard cruise ships. In this “Storytime” episode, Britt and Sara read these heart melting, hilarious, and “Universe assisted” ship romances written by none other than the protagonists themselves. Fair warning, if you’re single, tune in with a glass, or bottle, of wine in hand… these are sickeningly adorable.
Nov 27, 2020
59 min
DATING Q&A: "How Thin Are Those Walls Though" and Other Burning Questions
Chasing deceitful officers? The terribly awkward situation of breaking up onboard? All of the *JUICY* questions you've been waiting for are finally being answered. This week, Britt and Sara share their own experiences, answering your questions, and just reminisce on the simultaneous hot mess and joy ride of dating on cruise ships. Spoiler alert: They haven’t figured it out yet.
Nov 20, 2020
55 min
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