
My baby is now at senior prom, I got a splitting headache, and somehow this is the perfect moment to talk about no-thing-ness. A Friday Zen YouTube live (4/24/26) on retreats, the seeking apparatus burning out, no-thingness appearing as everything, and why the mind is a real a-hole 🕳️
Contact form, videos, links, and all the things here.
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Apr 26
1 hr 7 min

Nina chose Vassar — and that news kicks off a wide-ranging Monday Zen live that covers a lot of ground. We start with the "spiritual journey" in full: from burning out as a doctor, to a spontaneous awakening in Las Vegas, to years of meditation, retreats, shadow work, and psychedelics, all of it eventually collapsing into the simple recognition that it was always just this.
Along the way: why lying becomes nearly impossible when there's nothing left to protect, what every psychedelic from 5-MeO-DMT to Salvia Divinorum pointed at (spoiler: this), the honest question of whether awakening is liberation or just a very specific kind of dissociation, monogamy and marriage as story, why spiritual authority dissolves completely at some point, and how the whole journey lands you right back where you started ...except the circle never quite closes.
Video show archive, audio podcasts, music parodies, Supporter Tribe membership options, merch, social media, and email contact form: https://lnk.bio/zdoggmd
Support us with a 1-time donation and get a personal email response from me: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/zdoggmd
More about Dr. Z: https://zdoggmd.com/about-z/
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Apr 21
1 hr 40 min

Just got back from spring break touring colleges with my oldest ZPupp (yeah, wasn't she just a frickin' BABY yesterday?). Rochester, Vassar, and NYU. This episode is the full debrief...the steel cut oats, the Hogwarts campus, the NYU dean who told an auditorium full of accepted students and families that it's depressing to be poor, and what all of it reveals about ambition, projection, and just letting life life itself since the script is already written, bruh. Full video, originally LIVE on YouTube, here.
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Apr 18
1 hr

From BTS documentaries to grieving your own college experience through your kid's eyes, life keeps surfacing exactly what needs to be seen. An April Fools live conversation that somehow landed on death, freedom, and the scrote-sichord 🤭
Topics:
The Dr. Oz April Fools Prank — A Fond Memory
BTS Documentary: Schmos, Celebrities, and the Cosmic Joke
"Everything Seems Fine and Yet" — What's Been Coming Up
Nina's College Stuff
What I Actually Felt at 18 — Grieving the College Experience
UC Berkeley: The Real Story
Professor Fristrom and the Lab That Saved Me
It's Never About Someone Else — It's Always About You
Era Ending or Projection?
The Party Degree I Never Got to Have
Everything You Ever Learned Is Happening Now
The 529 Account Question and the Opportunity Cost of College
What If You Just Invested the Tuition Money Instead?
Waking Up, Growing Up, Showing Up — Ken Wilber and the Story Models
All Beliefs Are Provisional — Go Down the Rabbit Hole, Then Let Go
The FIRE Movement and the Trap of Seeking Freedom
Spiritual Bypassing: You Can't Actually Do It
What's Your Biggest Fixation That's Left?
The Trap of "Someday I'll Be Free"
What Happens When You Die?
Kids and the Double Arrow of Suffering
Stage Models of Awakening — Useful Until They're Not
How Long Do You Meditate? Zero. Everything Is a Meditation.
A Medical School Musical Interlude
ADHD, Psychiatric Labels, and Just Zubining
Is Awakening Even Desirable?
Awakening as Death Followed Immediately by Hilarity
From the Outside It Looks Like Existential Crisis — And That's Exactly Right
Is "We" Closer to Truth Than "I"?
Religious Awakening vs. Non-Dual Awakening — Same Flavor, Different Tradition
"How Is This Here the Same as This There?"
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Apr 2
1 hr 27 min

This is just DUMB SIMPLE...so much so that the mind that always wants to know, always wants to make sense, simply won't believe it. From 3am despair during college admissions season to spontaneous tears on the leg press, life keeps showing up as exactly what it is. Original YouTube live video here.
College admissions process and Nina's New York school visits
Waking up at 3am — absorbing stress and feeling it fully
Why meditation techniques eventually stop arising on their own
Non-dumbality: reality as too simple and ordinary for any concept to touch
The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path — why the Buddha gave instructions at all
The "fake it till you make it" paradox of spiritual practice
Crying at the gym and spontaneous emotional release
Who or what is choosing what happens next?
The tree of belief metaphor — falling through branches on the way down
Nothing is hidden: object permanence as a functional lie
Zen stink and the spiritual ego that thinks it woke up
What awakening actually means (and why the story collapses)
Angelo, gratitude, and why spiritual content no longer lands
Ram Dass on other people's awakening being none of your business
Gratitude roll call to those who "taught" me
What's actually being transmitted in these live shows
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Mar 30
1 hr 9 min

Nothing arrives. Nothing persists. And you were never behind. Monday Zen Live, original YouTube conversation here.
0:00 Welcome & The Imaginarium — Why the World Is a Story
1:38 Krishnamurti's "Filthy Word" and Taking the Story Sincerely
4:05 When the Whole Thing Just Drops
6:13 Absolute Freefall — This Is Pure Unadulterated Chaos
7:49 Nothing Ever Arrives Before It's Gone
9:18 Descartes Got It Almost Right — But Not Quite
11:43 Staring at a Blue Sky: The Instability of Appearance
13:02 Emptiness Isn't Magical
14:43 Is This Too Extreme a Negation?
16:05 Love Is Real — But Not How You Think
18:10 Awareness Isn't Fundamental — A Bone to Pick
20:05 Dogs Don't Live in the Imaginarium
22:06 You Don't Have to Believe Me — Let Go of Belief Entirely
23:24 Whatever Is Arising Right Now? That's It.
25:27 Why Unknowing Gets Rejected — By Society and the Ego
27:13 Always Exactly Where We Need to Be
27:38 The 5-MeO-DMT Realization: Nowhere to Go, Nothing to Seek
29:04 Perfect Days — A Film About Total Liberation
29:36 When the Dream Character Wakes Up (and Gets a Spiritual Ego)
34:33 Appearance Noticing Itself as Appearance
35:52 Isness, Thusness, Beingness — Words Pointing at Nothing
44:43 Why Zubin Blocked All Spiritual Content
47:38 How AI Pointed Back to the Unknowable
49:34 The Spiritual Entertainment Industrial Complex
52:06 Does Zubin Want More Followers?
54:22 Why He Stopped Practicing Medicine
1:04:08 Spiritual Apologism and the Self-Deception of Influence
1:03:00 Mark and Sharon at Chemo — What Live Is Really For
1:10:13 When You Cringe at Your Own Words (And When You Don't)
1:12:09 Wrap-Up & Peace Out
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Mar 24
1 hr 15 min

Why every concept, belief, and story falls utterly short of what's actually HERE. From YouTube LIVE.
0:00 Welcome & The Imaginarium We Live In
0:48 No Thought or Belief Can Touch What Is
2:24 The 180° Inversion: Concepts Are the Abstraction
5:50 How the Separate Self Generates Suffering
13:02 Did the Past Actually Happen?
15:00 Who Designed the Dance? On Illusion and Creation
18:10 Is There Even a Witness? Appearance Without a Knower
21:03 Why Reality Is Boring (and That's the Point)
24:48 The Bahiya Sutta: Simply the Seen
26:10 Music, Tones, and What Sound Is Actually Showing You
28:05 Is There a Path to Awakening?
31:32 Is Enlightenment a Stable State?
33:58 Privilege, Poverty, and Who Gets to Wake Up
35:42 Dreams, Sleep, and the Continuity of Appearance
38:48 What If Someone Hates Life?
43:48 Am I a nihilist??
45:37 Wrap-Up & Signing Off
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Mar 19
48 min

What happens when the seeking stops? We explore the paradox of the spiritual path, why role models don't make sense anymore, and how life just keeps life-ing — perfectly, with nobody doing it. A Monday live conversation on YouTube about nothing and everything.
https://lnk.bio/zdoggmd for all the things.
0:00 Introduction: Post-Daylight Savings Monday
1:05 Why Time Changes Mess With Our Circadian Rhythms
4:28 Is There Meaning in Names?
5:24 Spirituality as Just Another Story
7:17 This Is Not a Popular Message
8:02 When Interest in TED Talks and Podcasts Dies
11:07 YouTube Is Actually Great (When You Stop Caring)
11:39 What Happens After Death?
13:14 You Can't Learn This — The Paradox of Seeking
17:03 Speaking to People Where They Are
19:25 Radical Honesty: There's Nothing to Do
21:01 There's No Continuity — Only Memory
23:05 Julia, the Rug Is Going to Be Pulled Out
24:04 How Do You Relate to Dream Characters? You Don't.
27:02 Presence Is Just Radical Acceptance
29:22 My Wife's Plant Obsession (House Tour Moment)
30:00 The Tragic Florida Prank Story
35:01 Humans Aren't Terrible or Good — Just This
36:17 Life Can Get Better (Paradoxically)
37:14 If People Had to Slaughter Their Own Animals
39:01 Revisiting the Past as Part of Realization
42:01 Dating Ads During the Live Stream?
43:00 Nothing Happens Outside What's Immediately Apparent
44:04 The Anus Meditation (Yes, Really)
45:00 Guilt About World Events
46:46 Does Seeking Energy Come Back?
50:02 Subjectification and the Fluxy State
51:04 Am I in the Epstein Files?
57:52 Better or Worse Than Seven Years Ago?
59:02 Getting Pulled Back Into the Story
1:00:22 Country Joe McDonald Has Passed
1:02:02 AMAs and the Dissolution of Questions
1:03:05 Should I Do a Daily Practice?
1:06:02 Why Would You Want to Be on a Podcast?
1:08:50 Would I Go on Joe Rogan? Nah.
1:10:50 Daniel Schmachtenberger
1:14:12 Closing: The Paradox of Talking to 100 People
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Mar 13
1 hr 18 min

Another fun live conversation about the (un)reality of "me."
YouTube video is here.
All the links are here.
0:00 Introduction: The "Me" Will Never Be Enough
3:01 What Is the "Me"? The Illusion of the Separate Self
5:05 The Seeking Energy: Why We Never Feel Whole
7:24 Midlife Crisis and Spiritual Seeking as More of the Same
9:57 The Unsatisfaction Machine: Worthiness and Unworthiness
11:46 Hope and Hopelessness: The Self in Time
13:22 Pain vs. Suffering: What's the Difference?
15:08 The Spiritual Circus: Why Seeking Doesn't Work
17:03 Ego Extinction and Meditation: The Trap of Trying
19:26 The Paradox: Awakening Happened, Then the "Me" Claimed It
22:00 Surrender Is Impossible for the Self
23:00 Jim Newman and Radical Non-Duality
25:04 What Is Belief? The Self Trying to Know
27:05 Is Science Truth? Dreams Within Dreams
29:05 Real and Unreal: The Bear Chasing You
31:01 Nothing Is Wrong: Even Resistance Is This
33:05 It's Radically Simple
35:07 The Dream Logic Paradox: Why Teachers Say "Nothing to Do"
38:14 Your Journey Is Just an Appearance
39:48 There Is No Experience, Only Appearance
42:02 Questions That Stop Making Sense
44:09 This Is Not a Popular Message
45:58 What a Relief: When the "Me" Is Seen as Futile
48:36 Grief and Loss: The Emotional Process of Letting Go
51:06 Being Yourself: What Disney Actually Meant
53:01 Full Compassion Without Detachment
54:06 Negative Emotions: Felt Fully, Then Gone
57:00 Progressive Path vs. Radical Pathlessness
59:04 Awareness? I Can't Find It
1:01:31 Closing: The Ordinary and Extraordinary
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Mar 4
1 hr 6 min
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