If  in the 9 years after my father died you’d have told me that I would one  day be able to see the positive aspects of losing him to suicide, I’d  have probably broken your nose and hit the bottle to console myself.

You might even read that and think I’m a crazy psychopath who hated their dad.

Crazy? Maybe a little.  But by no means psycho and I adored my dad with all my heart.

But grief made me miserable and self-destructive and above all, stuck.

It  took far too long for me to realise that I had to do something about  it.  Too many tears, freak outs, spirals of self-destruction and numbing  of feelings,  until the means, strategies and tools came into my life  and I was able to see and use them.

It didn’t happen over night.   Of course it didn’t.  But over the last 12 years, I’ve learnt to love  my father for his sacrifice and let go of the blame, guilt and shame.

Here are the 7 lessons I learnt along the way.

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