The Kink Consultant
The Kink Consultant
Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant
Welcome to The Kink Consultant podcast, where we’re turning up the heat on all things kink in dating, relationships, and pop culture! Join Amanda each week as she dishes out the juiciest stories, expert advice, and shares a sneak peek behind the bedroom door—with some amazing guests along for the ride. Whether you're just a little kink-curious, ready to spice things up, or a seasoned pro, there's something here for you! Expect fun, laughter, and a whole lot of eye-opening conversations as we explore the wild world of intimacy, kink, and those oh-so-intriguing D/s dynamics.
ADHD, Kink, and Neurodivergent Relationships with Catieosaurus
Cate Osborn aka Catieosaurus returns to discuss ADHD, kink, neurodivergent relationships, and how to build sustainable dynamics that work with your brain.Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Cate Osborn, award-winning educator and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults. They discuss how ADHD impacts kink dynamics, why structure is so important for neurodivergent doms, and how burnout and overcommitment can derail even the best-intentioned relationships.Cate shares what she has learned from touring her live show, the questions she gets from audiences, and why people just want to be seen. They also explore the intersection of ADHD, sex, and intimacy, and why validation and positive reinforcement are so important for doms too. If you are neurodivergent, kinky, or both, this episode offers practical advice and real talk about making your relationships work with your brain, not against it.Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 offConnect with Catieosaurushttps://catieosaurus.com/https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/Connect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Aug 6
44 min
A Guide to Setting Boundaries in Kink with Melancholy Ghost
Melancholy Ghost, Missouri title holder and boundaries educator, joins the podcast to discuss how to set, communicate, and protect boundaries in kink.Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Melancholy Ghost where they discuss the difference why boundaries are essential for safe play, and what to do when someone crosses a line. Melancholy shares her framework for successful negotiations, including the CATS MEOW method she created to help people remember the key elements of communication, attentiveness, time, safety, and observing warning signs. They also explore the history of the leather community, what it means to be an asexual kinkster, and why trust must be earned and not freely given.If you have ever struggled with setting boundaries, knowing how to enforce them, or navigating negotiations in kink, this episode offers practical tools and real talk about protecting yourself and your relationships.Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 offConnect with Melancholy Ghost:https://www.instagram.com/missmelancholyghost/Connect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jul 30
1 hr 8 min
How to Navigate a 24/7 Dynamic: A Conversation on Boundaries and Communication with My Dom
Amanda and her dom sit down for an honest conversation about how they navigate boundaries, fear, and communication in their 24/7 dynamic.Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda shares a conversation she had with her dom a few months ago where they talk about how they navigate boundaries day to day, the fears that come up for both of them, and how they communicate through the hard stuff. Her dom shares how he models the behavior he wants to see, why consistency is everything, and how he handles bratting, resistance, and mid-scene check-ins. They also explore the role of fear in a BDSM dynamic, the difference between alpha subs and brats, and why communication is the foundation of everything. If you have ever wondered what a 24/7 dynamic actually looks like behind closed doors, this episode offers an unfiltered look at the real work that goes into making it sustainable.Head to https://www.swinkation.com/signup and use code TKC50 for up to $400 offConnect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jul 23
34 min
Hot Girl Energy: How to Date Without Losing Yourself with Kristen Aut
Kristen Aut returns to discuss how to date without losing yourself, break free from obsessive patterns, and step into your Hot Girl Energy this summer.Sign-up for the Hot Girl Energy Workshop here: http://www.amandadames.com/hotgirlenergyThis week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest and obsession coach, Kristen Aut. They discuss the patterns that keep women stuck in obsessive dating cycles, why women lose themselves so quickly when they feel chemistry, how to hold excitement without projecting it onto someone else, and why "pick me energy" is out. They also talk about their two-day Hot Girl Energy workshop designed to help women choose themselves, hold their own energy, and stop settling for situationships.If you have ever lost yourself in a relationship or found yourself obsessing over someone who was not right for you, this episode offers practical tools and real talk about breaking the cycle.Connect with Kristen Authttps://www.instagram.com/thekristenaut/https://www.newbadassyou.com/1to1supportConnect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jul 13
41 min
How to Tell Your Partner About Your Fetish with Miz Darling
Miz Darling returns to discuss how to tell your partner about your fetish, navigate shame and fear, and build healthy relationships around kink.Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest and good friend Miz Darling for a conversation about one of the most common questions in the fetish community: how do you tell your partner about your fetish? They explore why shame stops so many people from having the conversation at all, including the story of a client who was considering divorce and an affair before ever speaking to his wife about his desires.Amanda and Miz Darling also discuss their upcoming book, Complicated Pleasures, which explores how fetishists navigate long-term relationships and whether it is possible to make things work with a vanilla partner. If you have ever struggled with telling your partner about your fetish, this episode offers practical advice, reassurance, and real talk about shame, fear, and connection.Know More About The Book Here:https://complicatedpleasures.ca/Connect with Miz Darling https://mizdarling.ca/Connect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jul 9
51 min
Kinky Cruises, Chastity Cages, and Social Media Bans with Larah Sky
Book A Consult Call with Amanda⁠ ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠Larah Sky is back for another unfiltered conversation covering social media frustrations, kink cruise experiences, and chastity culture.This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with returning guest and real-life friend Larah Sky. They dive into their experience on the kink cruise that they went to together, including the difference between kinksters and swingers and why many swingers are curious about kink but hesitant to ask. They discuss chastity culture and why Larah believes every man should own a cage, even if he does not wear it every day. They also explore the frustrations of being a sex worker on mainstream platforms, including bot attacks, account bans, and the challenges of maintaining an online presence.Tune in to hear about what happens on a kink cruise, why chastity is about focus and not denial, and what it is really like to be a sex worker navigating social media.Connect with Larah Skyhttps://www.larahsky.co.ukConnect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jul 2
1 hr 19 min
Relationship Advice for Kinky Couples with Simone Milasas
Kinky relationships and vanilla relationships might have more in common than you think.This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda speaks with Simone Milasas, global facilitator, author, and creator of Access Consciousness, to talk about how the relationship advice she gives to vanilla couples applies just as powerfully to kinky relationships and BDSM dynamics. They cover the five elements of intimacy you need to build with yourself before you can offer them to a partner, the concept of a "creationship" and how it differs from a traditional relationship, and the one question that can either deepen your connection or finally give you both the clarity to move on. Tune in, get brutally honest with yourself, and find out what becomes possible in your kinky relationships when you stop telling yourself the story that's been keeping you stuck.Connect with Simone Milasashttps://www.simonemilasas.com/https://www.instagram.com/simonemilasas/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNJfnEjT/Connect with Amanda⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consult⁠Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jun 25
41 min
Emotional Masculinity: Breaking Down Toxic Masculinity, the Manosphere, and Real Intimacy with Matt Salis
Why does the word "masculinity" feel so loaded? I went looking for answers, and found the perfect person to break it down.In this episode, I sit down with Matt Salis, a behavioral health writer and researcher with a master's degree in sexual health and over a decade of experience in addiction and emotional abuse recovery. We get into the difference between toxic masculinity and what Matt calls emotional masculinity and why the manosphere is selling men a losing strategy. We also talk about emotional safety, resentment processing, the connection between vulnerability and sexual satisfaction, and how the consent culture in the kink community offers a model for healthier relationships everywhere.If you have ever wondered what masculinity looks like without the toxicity, or how emotional intimacy actually impacts your sex life, this conversation is going to change the way you think about both. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.Connect with Matt Salishttps://soberandunashamed.com/https://un-toxicated.com/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jun 18
42 min
Finding Your Kinky Match: A Conversation with Kink Matchmaker Shea Primus
Finding your perfect match is already hard enough. Now try finding one who also matches you in the kink department.In this episode, I sit down with Shea Primus, CEO and founder of Upper Echelon Matchmaking, for a conversation about what kinky dating actually looks like when you get serious about finding the right person. We talk about how she went from vanilla matchmaker to scouting FetLife events and kink parties for her clients, the most common mistakes kinky singles make when dating, and what it really takes to find someone who is compatible with both your lifestyle and your dynamic. We also get into her own kink journey, boundaries, and why knowing exactly what you want is the most powerful thing you can bring to the search.If you have been navigating kinky dating and feeling like the odds are stacked against you, this episode is going to shift your perspective in the best way. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.Connect with Shea Primus  https://upperechelonmatchmaking.com/https://instagram.com/shaeprimusmatchmakerConnect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jun 11
54 min
How to Be Kinky as a Parent: Raising A Child Without Losing Your Dynamic with Athena Gale
Ever wondered what life looks like when you have a 24/7 kink dynamic, a career in the sex space, and a child to raise? Get seated because Athena Gale is giving us a sneak peek of what it actually looks like.In this episode, I sit down with Athena Gale, intimacy and kink expert, sex copywriter, and mom of an almost 11-year-old, to talk about what it genuinely looks like to be a kinky parent. We get into how she maintains a 24/7 dynamic while raising a child, how she handles age-appropriate conversations about bodies, sex, and consent in a house full of sex toys, and why your kink life does not have to disappear the moment kids enter the picture. She also shares her practical advice for kinky parents who feel like they have had to put that part of themselves on hold, including the one thing she does every single week to keep her dynamic grounded no matter how busy life gets.If you are a kinky parent trying to figure out how to hold onto your dynamic, or you are just curious what that life looks like behind the scenes, this episode is for you. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.Connect with Athena Gale https://www.instagram.com/athena_gayle/https://www.thesexcopywriter.com/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store
Jun 4
1 hr 1 min
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