Let's see if the title of this episode attracts or repels listeners.We spend just a little time on Ms Swift early and then move on to our random list of topics that you've grown to love/hate.We now have downloads from 4 countries:  USA (USA! USA!), Germany, India and now Canada.  How's it goin' up there, eh?  Nice fires you hoser.Mark's pop culture reference is from about 1980.We talk a little imploded submarineJim's thing falls off right before he describes how awesome his first sponsor-deal beer went down.A jazz version of the Newt's promo (free form, long, hard to know when it ended, few will enjoy it)Tipping the Pull Tab LadyBack to the 50's Car ShowThe Ascertainers call the neighbor kid's grad party a "Public Appearance"All in the FamilyJim realizes he swore too much and will get betterMark makes us wait until the 9th inning for his signature coalminers/cartoon/whistle laughMark reveals our identity crisis--we're TRYING!Thanks for listening.  Please tell a friend.  Go to Newt's Apple Valley MN and tell the Manager The Ascertainer's sent you!Suggestions, feedback, etc:  [email protected]

Here we are at Episode 12 already.  Let's get to the highlights, shall we?Mark still gets the newspaper.The Ascertainers secured their exclusive Newt's sponsorship.Mark won the Radio Game (even though he could have been disqualified).In case you missed the second bullet point--WE GOT A HANDSHAKE DEAL. AT NEWT'S!  Sure, it's got a few caveats and is to be paid out in free beer, but we're taking the win!  We have listeners in 3 countries now:  USA, Germany and India.  Now we know how Pitbull feels.  You know--Worldwide.Fish taco eating tips. Why you don't play the Radio Game with Mark's wife.Jim's wife is musically promiscuous (that description escaped me during episode).Christian Laettner--not that big of a dick after all.Mark's inability to pronounce Szczerbiak is borderline depressing.Jim's inability to articulate forces a coalminer's laugh out of Mark.Thanks for listening.  Drop us a line at [email protected] if you have feedback or suggestions, and GO TO NEWT"S!  Don't forget to tell them The Ascertainers sent you!#Newts #Ribshot #ThatsNotaTypoJimReallySaidRibshot

So, this episode was recorded immediately after we finished Episode 9 (Underrated Bands) because we want to get a couple extra episodes in for when we can't swing a weekly recording session.  As a result, we are well-oiled and a little loud (OK, Jim is a lot loud at times--very sorry).In this episode, you will hear:Too many Newt's mentions.Guest, Brother J gets way more into it.We take an interesting left turn into breakfast cereal.  Seriously, it was unplanned.Jim messes up Radio Game by saying the song was Stray Cats  Rockin' at Midnight.  It was actually Rock This Town, but we will get back to Rockin' at Midnight later.We do get to our intended topic of more Underrated Bands, but later in episode.Rochester peeps, there is a Barlow's reference.Comments/Concerns/Suggestions [email protected] you for your support.#Newts#Barlows

This one starts off innocently enough but takes a few twists and turns.  There are laughs to be had, so it may still be worth a listen.Pretty significant fail while trying to gain efficiencies by slimming down the intro and Radio Game explanation.We discuss the different restaurant we tried while we have Newt's sweat out our negotiation tactics.Radio Game = Shit Show.   But a shit show that gave birth to a modern spin on the Abbott and Costello classic "Who's on First" featuring The Guess Who and Grand Funk Railroad.  My guess is that you'll either find it very amusing or soul-crushingly irritating.  Enjoy!We muck through a few more bands before finishing on a high note (relatively speaking...) with some John Denver and Carpenters.  Yes, the bar was set so low that we elevated the conversation with those two acts.We now have listeners in Germany, India and Canada.  If you are one of them, please send us an email at [email protected] and let us know how you found us or anything else about you.  We hope you are an Audie!Thanks for listening.  Big news coming on next episode!

How did we make it to Episode 9 already?  We had no expectations going into this--which is probably a good thing, since we haven't delivered much.  We are still having fun though, so we'll forge ahead.   Thank you for listening!On this episode, you'll hear:A shout out to our German listenerMark's case of mistaken identity (or is it his alter ego?)(SPOILER ALERT) Nobody wins the Radio Game Our Underrated Bands attemptAn unannounced guest joinsWe're still not sponsored.  At this point, we should be glad Newt's (Apple Valley) isn't pressing charges for unauthorized commercials.....For the Rochester peeps, three references: Newt's, Hi Fi Kenny and Skate Country.Feedback or suggestions to: [email protected]#Dave #Newts #HiFiKenny #SkateCountry 

We are already tired of each other, so we added a guest this week.  You may remember him referenced in Episode 7 as the tank top/flip flop wearing weed whipper.  That's right Audie J (a/k/a JT) joins us as we talk about more music, revisions to top 5 bands from our youth and general Tom Foolery.We are 0 for 3 on the Radio Game, although someone had the correct guess one week earlier.  Plenty of lawn talk.  Mark is reunited with his old G.I. Joe.  Mark is improving as an editor as Jim continues to use real people's names. JT explains why his guitar lessons as a kid were not awesome.  Jim corrects his use of Manifest Destiny--he wasn't even close.  First run with a guest was a success!  Thanks to JT for his support and willingness to come on the cast.Feedback or show ideas can be sent to [email protected].  Thanks for listening!#NewtsAppleValley#AldoNova#10mmSocket

Will Episode 7 be lucky?  You tell us.Week 2 of the Radio Game--more like weak 2.  No winner.  Kentucky Derby Wager Results and a half retraction.  Newt's Sponsorship update.  Listener suggestion--Top 5 Bands (from High School).  Neighborhood observations. Improper weed whipping footwear.   Mark remembers his lawn being "the best."  Headphones/Spanish Class/Clairvoyant/The B-52's/Emphysema laugh.Jim can't roll his R's the right way.No grammar PSA was necessary.Suggestions?  Email us at [email protected]#NewtsAppleValley

You talked, we listened!   We tapped a local artist to create a little theme music.  He had heard a few episodes and put together a little number that he felt exemplified our mojo.  Big thanks to Audie for the music.In this episode we learn about Mark's tendency to be a bit particular (When you say anal, it's OK, but when you type it......particular looks way better).  We discuss our golf game and being rained out.  Mark gets something off his chest.  Do this one crazy trick if Jim ever offers you tickets for anything.There's about 30 seconds of uncontrolled laughter when we talk about meeting a new neighbor.  Jim gives a grammar PSA.  We talk Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino movies, Aerosmith and ZZ Top.  We now have 3 sets of microphones/headsets, so we are working on getting guests involved.  We've got theme music, and an almost sponsor (more on that next week).  Not bad for a couple of public school kids from MN.Thanks for listening.  Don't forget to share your feedback or show ideas at:  [email protected] 

We made it to Episode 5.  If this is your first time listening, where have you been?  Listening to Mick Jagger music and bad-mouthing your country I'll bet (Bonus points if you can name the movie).  This should be our last music-free Episode as we are anticipating a juicy new original tune written especially for the podcast.The Episode starts with a more concise intro, which basically just allows us more time outside of the intro to ramble.  We begin with Mark confessing to some previous show goofs, and we get his son's notes on how we're doing.  Mark gives Jim his first performance review and it does not go well.  Jim discusses his week which included two funerals and a trip to Michigan.We compare The Sultans of Swing and Piano Man, talk album art, first album purchases and wonder why the hole is so big on a 45.  We also determine that 70's rock front men probably appreciate the new stretch jeans technology.Jim confesses that he was a bad student (Didn't "test well") and that Mark was one of those do-good students that sat next to a smart kid or something.  Jim bets a nut.So far we've had 81 downloads of the podcast.  If any of those were you--thank you, it means a lot.  Our podcast platform predicts that 26 people will listen to Episode 5.  I'll bet my other nut that we beat that number.  If you feel compelled, please share this episode with a friend (or 25).  I may need that nut.

In Episode 4, Mark and Jim reveal some of the feedback they've received.  Yes, between the email ([email protected]) and texts, they now have feedback.  By all accounts, they liked it better before there was feedback.What do the people want to hear?  Bumper music.  That's pretty much it.  The assumption is that the music will take over and Mark and Jim will be an afterthought.  We have responded and are working with a local artist who has agreed to craft a theme song for the podcast.  Stay tuned.Kind of a pot luck episode.  Here's a quick rundown:  We plug Newt's (again), Mark has two pretty good mispronunciations.  We get into and out of the Bud Lite hubub.  Mark cuts open a vein and explains that he cannot skate and only played basketball to wear the old-timey uniform shorts.  The Corn Palace is explained.  MN playoff predictions are made.  Jim is mostly flawless in his performance #jimwritesthese.