Spiritual PTSD
Spiritual PTSD
Damian Skinner
Some stories are horrific, some tragic, many of them are hilarious, and most embarrassing... but all of it true. Spiritual PTSD is a collection of non-fiction short stories of actual events I experienced growing up in an extreme pentecostal word and faith home. I was told my birth was a miracle and I was a soldier of God (in the most literal sense). I personally witnessed over 75 exorcisms in person and conducted many of them before I turned 18. Today, I have been diagnosed (and struggle greatly) with Complex PTSD. I want to be clear that this is not the same as our military and first responders experience. CPTSD develops in people at a very young age from constant exposure to either being or simply believing they are not safe. I have day terrors of the most horrific visuals and many other manifestations of CPTSD. I decided to journal these stories. Not just the insane and frightening stories, but the sincere and good ones as well. It is my sincere belief that there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people alive today that are suffering from (what I refer to) as Spiritual PTSD. The level of control, shame, addiction, and doubt many of us “recovering Christians” (or any religion for that matter) carry as adults from militaristic indoctrination at the most vulnerable of ages is nothing less than a direct result of ritual abuse. While all of this at its core is extremely dark content, there were many times that I experienced the similar paths of any teenager growing up in the 80/90’s. From demons to side boobs, I document what it was like growing up as a child exorcist. I will attempt to convey these stories as honestly as I can but clearly state repeatedly that I am communicating how these experiences were received (specifically at the age I was at when these events occurred). Of course, there is always other sides to these stories and I have heard many of them. This is a journal of one side to true events.
Ep 17 - Will You Forgive Me For Anything I Said or Did Today?
Guilt, fear and the super sweet early childhood years of being scared you were going to hell! If you take this shit seriously then you are constantly looking to cover all of your bases. By six or seven I had found the perfect forgiveness routine to ensure maximum fire protection.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
Jun 24, 2020
29 min
Ep 16 - Running For The Devil & Unresolved Mommy Issues
By far my least favorite episode. I decided to continue to honor the spirit of this podcast and go ahead and post it. I basically loose my shit but I have to say I agree with everything I said. I meant to tell a story of following my mom through the neighborhood when she would be "leaving" my dad. But it turned into processing some of the comments I have received over the years when I try to talk about these subjects.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
Jun 9, 2020
56 min
Ep 15 - Hard "R" for God and Special Ed
Not sure how to say this... but I spent my 8th grade through my junior year believing God made me mentally retarded... for his glory. This is a hard listen and was even more difficult to record. Since I already feel like shit for basically pretending to be mentally handicapped I really did not want to further dishonor this community by using the term in the title. So a "hard R" is a quote from Always Funny in Philadelphia.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
Jun 5, 2020
39 min
Ep 14 - Proof I Was "Chosen" by God at 7 Years Old
It doesn't take much to convince a 7 year old boy that he is called by God to do miracles and cast out demons. In fact if your going to convince someone of that you better do it while they are young! In this episode I explain how a potentially dangerous situation with a complete stranger in a department store became one of the main events that served as proof that I was born to slay demons and deliver people from satan.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
May 19, 2020
36 min
Ep 13 - Growing Up Poor and That One Fucking Kid Clarence
Growing up with demons, perverts and the looming end of the world was bad enough but add the effects of growing up "American Poor" as I call it, and I was tormented. In this episode I tell the public humiliation story from a punk ass bully named Clarence and explain the roots of contradictions in my faith and world view.
May 12, 2020
58 min
Ep 12 - Pushing Through the Fog and Fear of COVID w PTSD
I break from my normal format of storytelling to discuss where I have been for the last 3 weeks. I've been getting my ass kicked with PTSD based processing of a world pandemic.  This is a great episode to listen to if you want to get some insight into the mind of someone you love who is struggling with PTSD and COVID-19. However, I made a commitment to do this podcast at least for 1 year so I'm gonna keep posting.  For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
May 5, 2020
39 min
Ep 11 "Why Wait?" and Anal Purity!
Imagine believing in your religion so much that you wait to have sex till you are married. Millions have followed this practice and that is great but... imagine your first several sex experiences being anal sex. Cause you know that doesn't count as sex! In this episode I tell the story of a friend that did just that and to this day believes she was a virgin when she got married.   Also, during the recording of this podcast I could not remember the name of another book that came along and created an entire movement. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris rocked the youth group world. Here is a great doc from that author discussing the book and apologizing for the results it generated for many. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybYTkkQJw_M   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com  
Apr 14, 2020
32 min
Ep 10 Ryan Connell - Rapture Anxiety and COVID 19
Our first podcast guest and its about the end of the world! Ryan Connell founder and author of www.theholyapostate.com shares moments from his childhood of constant fear that the world was ending and just how hard it is to manage in a world that just wont seem to die! Visit Ryan's site http://www.theholyapostate.com A special thanks to Jon Norwood for the mic upgrade and Josh Mattison for mastering this episode. Visit Josh amazing podcast at Loworbitpodcast.com For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
Apr 9, 2020
1 hr 1 min
Ep 9 - Speaking In Tongues, Prophecy and Winn-Dixie Babies
It's 1992 and I am working at a grocery store to be close to the girl I am crazy about. Only problem is she doesnt work there. Its her sister and I end up "prophesying" over a cashier and telling everyone publicly that she is pregnant. And she was! Freaks everyone out and at this point I am pretty convinced that I have some sort of supernatural power. My parents confirm that I do! Not good.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
Apr 7, 2020
45 min
Ep 8 - Botched Child Exorcism and "Meaning Well"
Some memories haunt me more than others. In this episode I recall a failed forced exorcism on a boy no older than 13. If that wasn't horrific enough I also dragged in my best friend and basically made him participate.  Listen till the end to hear a phone conversation with that friend discussing his memory of the event.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com
Mar 31, 2020
53 min
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