By far my least favorite episode. I decided to continue to honor the spirit of this podcast and go ahead and post it. I basically loose my shit but I have to say I agree with everything I said. I meant to tell a story of following my mom through the neighborhood when she would be "leaving" my dad. But it turned into processing some of the comments I have received over the years when I try to talk about these subjects.   For more episodes, interviews and events please visit www.spiritualptsd.com

Ep 17 - Will You Forgive Me For Anything I Said or Did Today?

Some stories are horrific, some tragic, many of them are hilarious, and most embarrassing... but all of it true. Spiritual PTSD is a collection of non-fiction short stories of actual events I experienced growing up in an extreme pentecostal word and faith home. I was told my birth was a miracle and I was a soldier of God (in the most literal sense). I personally witnessed over 75 exorcisms in person and conducted many of them before I turned 18.
 
Today, I have been diagnosed (and struggle greatly) with Complex PTSD. I want to be clear that this is not the same as our military and first responders experience. CPTSD develops in people at a very young age from constant exposure to either being or simply believing they are not safe. I have day terrors of the most horrific visuals and many other manifestations of CPTSD. 
 
I decided to journal these stories. Not just the insane and frightening stories, but the sincere and good ones as well. It is my sincere belief that there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people alive today that are suffering from (what I refer to) as Spiritual PTSD. The level of control, shame, addiction, and doubt many of us "recovering Christians" (or any religion for that matter) carry as adults from militaristic indoctrination at the most vulnerable of ages is nothing less than a direct result of ritual abuse.
 
While all of this at its core is extremely dark content, there were many times that I experienced the similar paths of any teenager growing up in the 80/90's. From demons to side boobs, I document what it was like growing up as a child exorcist.
 
I will attempt to convey these stories as honestly as I can but clearly state repeatedly that I am communicating how these experiences were received (specifically at the age I was at when these events occurred). Of course, there is always other sides to these stories and I have heard many of them. This is a journal of one side to true events.