A walk into darkness. Learned Helpless and Trained Powerlessness. Elephants. Pointed questions answered. * **POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING EPISODE** Though there is no explicit content, some listeners may have a trauma-triggered response.  Subject matter contains vague descriptions of SA, r@pe, intimidation, and coercion. * I thought my experience was a relic of a bygone era. Sadly, we haven't come very far. Earlier this year in January/February 2022, every major online news source reported a startling epidemic of more than 150 SA cases at the US Air Force Academy at Colorado Springs, US Military Academy at West Point, and US Naval Academy at Annapolis. These are just the cadets and midshipmen who felt safe enough to come forward to report their abuse. Cadets and midshipmen at all three principal service academies reported more incidents of sexu@l @ssault than in previous years. --By Karoun Demirjian Washington Post article (February 17, 2022) Click HERE to read more. “The women in the Class of 1980—the first to include female cadets—were able to say unequivocally they were treated differently because of their sex. They spoke of the @ssaults and harassment they faced both at the academy and once they entered the Army. “Brig. Gen. Cindy Jebb, who now serves as the Dean of the Academic Board at West Point, arrived two years later as a member of the Class of 1982. Looking back at her cadet career she said, ‘I think it’s safe to say we were probably all sexually harassed.’” (https://www.army.mil/article/236362/the_army_is_changing_current_female_cadets_will_enter_the_army_with_more_career_options_than_ever) * SEXUAL ASSAULT SUPPORT RESOURCES: Click HERE for Resources on R@pe, Sexu@l Ass@ult, and D0mestic Vi0lence Get help 24/7 1-800-656-4673. (National Sexu@l Ass@ult Telephone Hotline)  Call: National Center for Victims of Crime, Victim Connect Resource Center 1-855-4-VICTIM (1-855-484-2846)  Call National Teen Dating @buse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Child @buse Hotline/Child Help: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #mentalhealthandchurch #sexuala@ssault #usmilitaryacademy #westpointmilitaryacademy #womeninthemilitary #soldierSA #usmacadetr@pe #noisno  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

**POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Contains mature content. Vague descriptions of SA, r-pe, and coercion.** What do grenades have to do with a trauma journey? In 1989, I received my congressional nomination for the prestigious US Military Academy at West Point, and though I believe the culture has changed in the decades since I attended, my story focuses on what it used to be back then and how the system solidified parts of the Plastic Princess I became. * * “The women in the Class of 1980—the first to include female cadets—were able to say unequivocally they were treated differently because of their sex. They spoke of the @ssaults and h@rassment they faced both at the academy and once they entered the Army. “Brig. Gen. Cindy Jebb, who now serves as the Dean of the Academic Board at West Point, arrived two years later as a member of the Class of 1982. Looking back at her cadet career she said, ‘I think it’s safe to say we were probably all se#ually harassed.’” (https://www.army.mil/article/236362/the_army_is_changing_current_female_cadets_will_enter_the_army_with_more_career_options_than_ever) #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #mentalhealthandmilitary #SA #usmilitaryacademy #westpointmilitaryacademy #womeninthemilitary #soldiersa  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

People say it takes courage to go through therapy and tell their story. I haven’t felt courageous whatsoever. Mostly, I've felt terrified, afraid of really knowing - and afraid of never knowing - what my issues were.  If courage is the ability to persevere and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty, any courage that people see in me is the Holy Spirit. I just keep clinging to him, clinging to the Cross and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, knowing that if God has the power to raise a man from the dead, he can raise me up, too. And, as in the book of Ezekiel, if he can raise my dry and dusty bones up out of the grave, he can use me to help encourage others to do it in their own lives as well. #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #jesusheals --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

How do you describe severe anxiety or how trauma makes the body feel to someone who’s never experienced it? With a DRAGON, of course! So the LORD God said to the serpent: “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and every beast of the field! On your belly will you go, and dust you will eat, all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. He will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV) #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #predatorygrooming #jesusheals #ptsdepisode #learnedhelplessness #understandinganxiety --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

***WARNING: Though there is nothing explicit or overly descriptive, this episode contains material about suicide ideation and depression.*** As someone who's struggled with mental health and trauma, I often wondered if I was disqualified not just from Christian service, but from being Christian... (Did I mention we're tackling hard questions here?)  *** I wonder if mental illness struggles are the "new leprosy" inside the Bride of Christ. No one wants to talk about or touch it, and if you say you’re getting counseling, people appear nervous or seemingly avoid you each time you enter the room. -->>The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 160 crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 1-800-273-8255. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.<<--- --->>>If You Know Someone in Crisis Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All calls are confidential. Contact social media outlets directly if you are concerned about a friend’s social media updates or dial 911 in an emergency. The Veterans Crisis Line connects Service members and Veterans in crisis, as well as their family members and friends, with qualified Department of Veteran’s Affairs (VA) responders through a confidential toll-free hotline, online chat, or text messaging service. Dial 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 to talk to someone or send a text message to 838255 to connect with a VA responder. #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #mentalhealthandchurch  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

Is there any such thing as the PERFECT CHRISTIAN WOMAN? (If you're nodding in response, please don't press play.) *** Today's story is rife with a little mannequin history, tongue-in-cheek stereotyping, and animal analogies, but the mic drops might make your jaw unhinge.  "Putting lipstick on a pig doesn't make her a lady." Deep inside was a mess I couldn’t identify or fix no matter how much I served Jesus or the church. While I was doing all the right things to act like a good Christian woman, our works don’t heal the shame or fix what's broken.  Since "mannequins mirror the 'ideal standard' of the season in figure, form, and fashion" I became  a  Plastic Princess. ** ALSO: SUPER exciting ANNOUNCEMENT, but you'll have to listen to find out more! #transparencymoments #beingrealinchurch #ThePerfectChristianWoman #NoPerfectChristians #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #predatorygrooming #jesusheals #ptsdepisode #learnedhelplessness #ironstreammedia  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

This one's short and sweet. Give it a listen, then give it a share.  *** "Master, all my lands are yours, every space in my life.  Anything I have—be they gifts, talents, sin, history, whatever!—is yours. There is nothing, no portion of my life, that I want to keep from you in this season... I am finally yours, holding nothing back from your work and examination... Just heal me! Take it all!" I've played hide and seek with God. The only problem? He sees and knows everything, even what I tried to keep in the dark. Wherever I go, there He is. He is Savior, but is He LORD over all? Desperate for healing, here's where I finally got HONEST WITH GOD. “When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you, to deliver you from the way of evil.” (Proverbs 2:10-12) #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #honestwithgod #jesusheals  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

Can God confirm a prayer request with jewelry? Haha, I know you might wanna a reason to buy a new pair of earrings, but that's not what I mean here... ;) Around her neck, I noticed a woven silver necklace from Antigua, Guatemala. I knew she was the ONE I asked God to provide. Dr. Michele Novotni was my God-sent mentor in this season and we immediately began talking weekly to pray and ponder the future work God was establishing for us. Who knew it would be absolute healing from trauma and abuse?!  Here's the funny thing:  I resisted almost all her attempts to talk to me...  ... until I saw silver. Three Takeaways: 1. Mentors can take your farther faster. (Affirmation, Advice, Processing, Role-Modeling, Encouragement, Accountability, Wisdom) 2. Look around to see who could mentor you... or who you could help disciple. 3. You don't have to (have) be an expert; you just need (someone) to be a little further along in the valley. Online articles for finding a great Christian mentor or accountability group: re:Generation is a biblically-based discipleship program offering healing, recovery, and freedom from any type of struggle.  (Find accountability and help groups at re:Gen) Lifeway: Finding The Mentor you Need GCU Benefits of a Spiritual Mentor #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #jesusheals #godlyrelationships #Christianfellowship #Christianmentorship #mentoringrelationships  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

How can you go from full-on panic mode to  calm,  cool,  and  collected? Three Ways: Breath - Brain - Blessing.  Today, you're getting a BONUS EPISODE: PRACTICAL TOOLS!! This is not medical advice. I am not a doctor, therapist, or physician. These are tools I've used to help myself and others overcome their overwhelm. I wasn't planning on doing an episode on a few of my "tried and true" anxiety/panic attack/PTSD event de-escalation techniques...  ... until I walked a friend through them over the phone last week. I realized others really might benefit from listening. PTSD Coping Mechanisms RESOURCES:  Focus On The Family: CLICK HERE National Alliance on Mental Health (has a link to EMDR info) Veteran's Administration:  CLICK HERE   Psychology Today: CLICK HERE #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #jesusheals #PTSDcopingskills #anxietyattacks #panicattack #Christian  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message

"How curious is the body's response to memory... " In Episode 7, I'm gonna detail 3-4 of my basic, tried and true trauma/PTSD/panic attack coping mechanisms for ya. Until that's released Friday, here are a few notes on this episode: 1.) This part of the story is a strange confluence of * two distinct times (me at age 7, then age 5) * two distinct memories * two distinct people. The second memory--the one that creates the PTSD event--becomes a SOURCE MEMORY, or, POINT OF ORIGIN. (<--These are my words.) 2.) Throughout this narrative, I was super careful not to write anything triggering for readers or listeners, the abused or abusers. In the past, I've tried to read other Christian works on this subject but was so incredibly triggered, I couldn't get past the first few pages. My sincere apologies if somehow a trigger hits you. 3.) When I wrote this in 2019, I had no idea what a PTSD event was. My good friend and mentor, Dr. Michele Novatni, talked about how I could begin preparing for upcoming EMDR therapy by developing "My Trauma Toolbox"--a series of coping mechanisms, some of which I'll describe throughout this episode. They saved my sanity and I've used them to help countless other people de-escalate from their anxiety and panic/PTSD attacks, too.  Interested in developing your own anxiety/panic attack/PTSD Toolbox? LMK. I'd love to help save someone else the time, effort, and money spent on therapists and doctors' bills! Maybe if there's enough interest, I'll develop some videos and training or bring in the experts. ;) RESOURCES: National Alliance on Mental Health U. S. Dept. of Veteran's Affairs  #traumawarrior #traumainformed #ptsdwarrior #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #survivor #ptsd #ptsdisadailybattle #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #csasurvivor #recoveryjourney #traumahealing #csahealing #selfcare #christianwriter #faithstory #predatorygrooming #jesusheals #EMDR #ptsdepisode --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/leigh-mackenzie/message