A deliciously young Val Kilmer, an even more delicious young Sarah Jessica Parker (played by Gabriel Jarret), a billion lasers, boring montages, horny cosmetologists, unreal liquid nitrogen, unbelievable penis hammering, Jesus in the teeth, Tear for Fears, and the most famous popcorn scene since Troll 2. "Real Genius" (1985) took the '80s nerd genre to new lows but still managed to exude some genuine charm.

Kerri Gross gets hella scientific. Roger does the math of statutory rape. And Gene questions how anyone can party to Don Henley.

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