"My problem isn't with this movie: It's with you two." - Dick Ebert Everyone's favorite everyman was flummoxed this week as his co-hosts drooled over "The Craft," a movie hand-picked for them by legendary Shat The Movies listener Jen D.  When Big D complained that the coven's four witches were "too hot to be outcasts," Ash explained she was a hot outcast. When Big D explained women, Ash countered that she is a woman. And when Big D questioned the friendships depicted in the film, Gene underscored the importance of Bagel Dogs in forging bonds. Was "The Craft" about female empowerment or just a revenge fantasy? Did it tackle serious topics or fail to find a tone? Can $100,000 really change a life, and what really happens at sleepovers? The Shat Crew explores these questions and how many teeth Fairuza Balk has in this episode of Shat The Movies. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

Ahead of Gene Lyons' big day, Dick and Ash share their married-life wisdom as Shat The Movies travels once again to Australia for the 1994 comedy "Muriel's Wedding." As expected, this movie led to some fierce debate between Big D, who detests Muriel's selfishness, and Ash, who simply adores pre-glow-up Toni Collette. But both Shat hosts agreed on the greatness of Abba, unexpected darkness of the film and the ridiculousness of wedding fever. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

Until we watched "Near Dark," the Shat Crew was blissfully unaware that vampires' true supernatural power wasn't immortality: It was prudent decision-making and wise investments.  In her 1987 solo directorial debut, Kathryn Bigelow changed the way we viewed bloodsuckers by giving us a dusty, trashy and (much to Big D's horror) irresponsible brood of vamps.  Gene uses this episode to complain about Easter eggs for the stupid. Ash argues that the protagonist is just a crappy Louis de Pointe du Lac. Big D cringes at all the wasted blood. And Bill Paxton just makes the whole thing a lot more fun.  The Shat Crew also covers Six Degrees of James Cameron, when less is more with practical effects, whether blood transfusion could cure vampirism and why you should shut your windows when vampires are creeping around your farm. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

"Shat The Movies" has seen its share of literary adaptations but never one that inspired Big D to draw, Gene to regain his teen mojo and Ash to besmirch the good name of coastal Florida. It's Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations!" This 1998 drama looks great on paper, boasting a star-studded cast including Robert De Niro, Ethan Hawke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Cooper, Hank Azaria and Anne Bancroft. The killer soundtrack features two original songs by Tori Amos and Pulp (remember that nude posing scene? Yow!) And yet somehow the director, Alfonso Cuaron, was disappointed in how it turned out. So we re-watched "Great Expectations" for commissioner Rachel C. and came up with our own ideas of where the movie falls short (mainly costuming) and where it really shines (sexy times).  In this episode, find out why Big D hated the art, why Ash loved the sets, why Gene felt weird and how the whole movie did Joe dirty. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

If you love Rhode Island accents, relish period pieces that forget the period and hate Gene Lyons, our "Outside Providence" podcast is the episode for you! As Ash and Big Dildo dig into this 1999 Farrelly Brothers comedy (written, not directed), they discover the limits of Alec Baldwin's acting, question the movie's pointless inclusion of dark scenes and seriously doubt Shawn Hatosy's sexual prowess.  Ash points out that "Outside Providence" marks the tail end of the Age of Prep School Movies. And Dick offers handy tips on how Ritalin can maximize your fire watch.  SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

BMX bikes! "Send Me An Angel!" Lori Loughlin in a Mongoose bicycle suit! It's the Shat The Movies episode we've been waiting six months to debut: "Rad!" Listener Frank Falls commissioned this 1986 bicycle-racing stuntfest, promoted it and put thunder in all our hearts. But in today's Xtreme Games environment, can Cru Jones' speed and tricks still wow a crowd? Does the bicycle boogie still inspire romance? Will Gene Lyons ever learn to bunny hop? In this episode, Big D questions whether the bad guys really knew anything about making money, praises the town of Cochrane for being so pro-kid and tells the tale of how his dream bike was stolen while he was returning a VHS rental. Gene adds to the mix by highlighting 1980s hot dog prices, pointing out some gruesome wrecks and pleading with the Shat The Movies audience to validate Cru's race-winning spin move. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

If you've ever wondered how Jean-Claude Van Damme became an international action star, there's one '80s movie you need to see: "Bloodsport." This episode, commissioned by listener Adam from Texas, calls on Gene Lyons' deep martial arts expertise, Ash's opinions on muscle men and Big D's childhood dream of climbing with ninja claws. Along the way, the Shat Crew also discusses the efficacy of fighting monkey style, the utility of eight-minute cinematic flashbacks, training vs. torture, how a referee fits into a full-contact tournament, journalistic integrity in the face of sexy splits, what the Army does when an officer goes AWOL and what the hell Forest Whitaker was doing in this movie. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

When Hot Sauce Steve won the Shat Fantasy Basketball title, he decided to give back to the Shat community by commissioning the long-overdue '80s werewolf basketball comedy "Teen Wolf." Riding hot on the coattails of "Back to The Future," this low-budget comedy timed its release just right, seizing on Michael J. Fox's superstar status (and the fact Scott Howard is basically Marty McFly). Join Dick Ebert and Gene Lyons as they discuss whether Harold was a responsible dad, whether scoring beer is as hard as the movies make it look and whether Scott's transformation into The Wolf still holds up.  The boys also tackle the ins and outs of wolf sex, question if being a girl's one-and-done is really all that bad and propose streaming services should now offer a soundtrack-swap option. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

When listener Ryley moved out of her parents' house for the first time and needed a comfort movie, "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" was there. We humbly offer this Shat The Movies review to the elder gods in hopes we all someday discover our inner animalities. From terrible CGI to imbalanced audio, this sequel to 1995's "Mortal Kombat" proved you can't just swap out the cast, throw in a whole bunch of new characters, rip off Sub-Zero's mask and expect video game fans to accept it. You also can't make Raiden mumble mumbo jumbo while dressed as a suburban dad or kill off Johnny Cage in the first five minutes without clarifying he's actually dead. Even Mortal Kombat's legendary soundtrack sagged under the weight of Jax's "urban" dialog and Barraka's rubber blades. And just when we thought we'd seen the worst, the dragon fight everyone had forgotten became the final battle nobody could unsee. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite

We have only ourselves to blame for this one. Well, actually, it's pretty much all Big D's fault: Shat The Movies finally found the courage (and the commissioner) to tackle the 1980 space opera "Flash Gordon." Whether you thought this horny Dino De Laurentiis fantasy was a terrific comic book adaptation or just a crappy "Star Wars" ripoff, it's certainly a film that's instantly recognizable through sight or sound. That Queen anthem, those wild colors and costumes: This is a movie best enjoyed on hallucinogens ... pantless. Gene found a new personal hero in Topol, the Hebrew Harrison Ford. Dick appreciated the female empowerment. And Ash asked, "How many times can Flash Gordon die?" In this episode, the Shat Crew also covered Max von Sydow in yellow face, faulty rocket designs, Chekov's pitot-static tube, psychological scarring from the "Wood Beast" and the tragic tale of a trilogy that died in the cradle. SUBSCRIBE Android: https://shatpod.com/android Apple: https://shatpod.com/apple All: https://shatpod.com/subscribe CONTACT Email: hosts@shatpod.com Website: https://shatpod.com/movies Leave a Voicemail: Web: https://shatpod.com/voicemail Leave a Voicemail: Call: (914) 719-7428 SUPPORT THE PODCAST Donate or Commission: https://shatpod.com/support Shop Merchandise: https://shatpod.com/shop Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite: https://www.facebook.com/guyznite