You don't have to listen to this, you really don't. This is brutal. Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Ugh, oh god, it's all such a mess. This is terrible. But don't worry, we've got kitchen roll, and it only went all over the Christmas presents. Because this election is kind of dull, we've got time to go into a real deep-dive into some of the "Absolute Scenes" that have taken place over the last 24 hours and what it means for us, Boris Johnson, and the political editor of the BBC. Plus, we make our plans for the big night. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Laura on Twitter(the Twiglet Lover, not the BBC's political editor) on Twitter: @Carmichelle Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Fans of Paul with love this episode, as Josh is too tired to prevent him from talking. Fans of everyone else might find something they like too, as we talk about Matt Hancock, and who doesn't love Matt Hancock? Then we talk about... kind of... media stuff for a bit, and then just as it starts to get stale, everything just goes a bit weird. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Harriet on Twitter(the Cast Manager on Channel 4's Gogglebox, not the person on the phone) on Twitter: @HarrietManby Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Today, we hear from Slough, in Stevenage, who has some questions about organic fertiliser, and Dominic Raab, who wants to know about "Courgettes". Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Emma on Twitter (the daughter of some really awesome parents, not our media law consultant) on Twitter: @Emma Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

It's Saturday afternoon and it's real Saturday afternoon in here. We take a while to ramp up (or perhaps just to drink a certain amount), while to talk about the last [indeterminate amount of time] of the general election campaign, as it relates to floods, candidates, strategies, and whether or not anyone actually cares. We talk about voting records, and focus groups, and all that stuff that makes it sound like we're a real podcast. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Michael Ashcroft on Twitter(the optimist mixing emotions and evidence, not the Lord pollster) on Twitter: @m_ashcroft Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Look, I know we never said there were seasons, but there are now, and it's a new one now. It's election season, for some reason, and so we have to abide by all the serious election rules, but we can't immediately find them on the website, so I guess we don't. Instead, we have a huge amount of technical difficulties, just to celebrate. We write a list, find out where all those gooey aliens used to come from, and then Josh sings a song. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow james Cleverly on Twitter(the girl's tag rugby organiser, not the dangerous driver (ding)) on Twitter: @girlstagrugby Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

I had a great idea about something cool to do for Episode 20 while I was drunk last night, but I can't remember what it was. We have lost any sort of idea about what's going on, but somehow we will still talk to you as if we're explaining it. You should know by now that that's fairly unlikely to happen. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Cumboy on Twitter (the proud member of #TeamVers, not the alter ego of Dominic Grieve) on Twitter: @cumboy40961799 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Tom, if you read these, I want you to count how many times in this episode Josh says that they'll come back to something, and how many of those actually get revisited. Look, here's how it is, things have been happening, but they're dumb and they make no sense, and if everything's dumb and makes no sense, then what's the USP of this podcast? There's a Brexit deal yeah, but don't get too attached, it is, no surprise, dumb, and it makes no sense. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Sheila Fogarty on Twitter (this charming seeming lady who made £800 online on August 6th 2011, and wants to tell you how, not the LBC presenter) on Twitter: @rhugh38 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Somehow... out of all of them... THIS is the Messy, Scattered Episode. We start of with a solid ten on Swinson, then pinball around talking about the lowlights of Tory Conference, giving you a sneak peak at the next leadership election, and about how lucky it is that it's mad now, before getting stuck into the absolute nothing that is the fake bad proposal the Government can't even get told off for, no matter how hard they try. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Sir Geoff on Twitter (the Professor Emeritus in the School of Life Sciences at Heriot-Watt University, not the Violent Chair of the 1922 Committee) on Twitter: @SirGeoffPalmer Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Donate to the Jo Cox Foundation: https://www.jocoxfoundation.org/jos_legacy This episode sounds a lot more fun than it is. It's long, poorly structured and it will make you sad, just like... nah, I just don't have the heart. Things are bad, Watersports Fans. We've reached new lows in the last couple of days. We talk about the unlawful acts of the government, about how The Government Always Obeys The Law™️ and about what is now may be fact about how Boris Johnson personally did to a homeless person. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Helen Goodman on Twitter (the Deadmau5 fan, not the MP) on Twitter: @HelenGudman Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)