On Attachment
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
#221: How to Let Go of Someone You Love (For Anxious Attachers)
13 minutes Posted Jan 6, 2026 at 12:59 pm.
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Show notes

Letting go of someone you love can feel like the hardest thing you’ll ever do — especially if you have anxious attachment patterns. When your nervous system equates connection with safety, walking away can feel more intolerable than staying in pain.

In this episode, I explore why letting go is so difficult, and what actually helps when love, attachment, and fear are all tangled together.

I talk about:

  • Why anxious attachment makes holding on feel safer than letting go
  • How we often confuse feelings with instructions for action
  • Why waiting to “feel ready” or to stop loving someone keeps us stuck
  • The crucial distinction between love and compatibility
  • Why letting go isn’t a feeling — it’s a choice you make again and again
  • How grief, discomfort, and longing are part of the process, not signs you’ve made a mistake

This episode is both a pep talk and a reality check — an invitation to trust yourself enough to choose what’s right for you, even when it hurts, and even when you still love them.

If you’re navigating a breakup or struggling to let go, be sure to check out my free breakup training: https://www.stephanierigg.com/break-up-webinar