Is the so-called Khia Asylum putting pop stars in protracted purgatory? Langston and David are joined by Sequoia Holmes to speculate about how the Illuminati might be keeping certain singers mired in irrelevance. 0:00 Cold open: Fan-dumb 2:38 A very ass-eating intro 12:08 Conspiracy: The Khia Asylum is real 50:56 Voicemail 1: Crack is the original GLP-1 54:03 Voicemail 2: The biracial math ain’t mathing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Were certain Black American idiosyncrasies actually planted by nefarious forces? Langston and David sit down in the new, permanent home of My Momma Told Me to answer listener voicemails, including one about how some Black customs (e.g. eating steak well-done) may not be authentic at all. 0:00 Cold open: The radio 4:46 A very new studio intro 10:27 Addressing the Filipino allegations 16:36 Adding a soundtrack to your life 27:30 Parenting a light-skinned child 34:08 Loving bad people (at the concert) 46:27 Voicemail 1: Well-done steak was popularized to deprive Black folks 57:15 Voicemail 2: Megan Thee Stallion has a ghostwriter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the government using Black social media users to study human behavior? Langston and David are joined by journalist-presenter Nina Parker to discuss how modern tech could be insidiously exploiting the Black community. Then, they answer a voicemail about the location of Dr. Umar’s charter school. 0:00 Prolapse cold open 8:58 A very weapons intro 17:24 Conspiracy: They never stopped experimenting on Black people 33:21 Content creation = drug dealing? 43:52 Newspapers, novels, smut 52:34 Internet posturing 58:04 Skincare for men 1:03:12 Voicemail: Dr. Umar’s school is in Delaware Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will eating the chalaza of an egg give you salmonella? Langston and David are joined by comedian-actress Zainab Johnson to question if we shouldn’t be eating the white film on egg yolks. Then, they answer a voicemail about NBA megastar Stephen Curry. 0:00 Cold open: Extraordinary genitals 6:45 A very The-Dream intro 13:01 Michael Jackson’s vulnerability in ‘Will You Be There’ 22:15 Katt Williams anecdote 26:52 Conspiracy: Never eat the chalaza of an egg 37:47 Unironically wearing Kangol hats 47:02 Talent vs. decency 52:42 Voicemail: Steph Curry uplifts white hoopers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How many people are deceitfully claiming autism or ADHD to explain away bad behavior? Langston and David answer three listener voicemails, including one positing that self-diagnosed neurodivergence has gone too far. 0:00 A very low and sultry intro 3:46 Getting recognized in public 6:08 Boosie BadAzz got scammed 19:00 Fighting in prison 26:34 Voicemail 1: Langston’s secret…? 28:28 Voicemail 2: Light-eyed bigotry 32:35 Voicemail 3: The spectrum ain’t spectrum-ing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does a man’s choice of facial hair expose his personality? Langston and David sit down to answer a handful of voicemails, including one about how men choose to adorn their faces betray the content of their souls. 0:00 Intro: Jamaican patois teacher 16:13 Voicemail 1: Cannibalism FIFA 21:25 Voicemail 2: Black people are not Native Americans 27:05 The biracial experience, revisited 34:30 Voicemail 3: Stripper names could be nicknames 42:01 Voicemail 4: Men’s facial hair reveal their character 50:06 Voicemail 5: Sucking on breasts enlarges them 55:05 Other mammals’ genitals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are people with dwarfism being harmed for the sake of advancing cosmetic surgeries? Langston and David are joined by actor-comedian Denny Love to discuss truly one of the craziest theories ever put forth in the history of this podcast. 0:00 Cold Open: Black Happy Birthday 4:12 Almost soiling your pants 12:11 Yelling out of the car 18:29 Intro: Soundboard shenanigans 24:48 Conspiracy theory: Little people are being targetted for BBL research 43:43 Is this theory…hate speech? 50:19 What the “research” says 57:52 Nicknames, reprised 1:01:35 Voicemail: Yung Miami is kid-maxxing 1:05:43 Bathroom emergencies, revisited Check out Langston’s mom’s Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaGiasStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the government dangling confirmation of human contact with aliens to divert our attention from more pressing matters? Langston and David are joined by actor Malcolm Barrett to discuss how convenient the timing of alien news is for those in power as well as the possibility of extraterrestrial life at large. 0:00 Cold open: The lore of Yakub 2:59 Have you ever been dunked on? 6:38 The art of the scam 9:38 Intro: The term “wifey” 21:30 Pop-a-shot at home 28:31 David is anti-whimsy 40:18 Conspiracy theory: They’re trying to distract us with aliens 48:01 Coolest American presidents 56:52 Would aliens even want to meet us? 1:01:45 Asian people with non-American accents 1:07:57 Are we too free here? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something deeper and darker behind the way some white folks relate with animals? Langston and David sit down to respond to listeners’ voicemails and emails, including one about the power dynamics between white people and their pets. 0:00 Avatar is mid 4:34 Doing bits with loved ones 9:39 Langston acquires a new nickname! 13:11 Voicemail 1: The Love Island men receive help 21:35 Voicemail 2: Investi-gay-tion 40:39 Email: White people and their pets Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Was the panic around lettuce-related explosive diarrhea fomented to make us turn on immigrant farmers? Langston and David are joined by actor/comedian Orlando Jones to answer four (4) voicemails sent in by the Lil’ Mommas, including one about the recent iceberg lettuce scare. 0:00 Intro: Bad slave dealerships 9:08 Autobiographies 16:14 Good Black stereotypes and demon possession 25:32 Voicemail 1: Biracial eugenics 35:02 Voicemail 2: Langston’s idiosyncratic noises 37:46 Voicemail 3: Don’t trust school tests 50:42 Voicemail 4: Is the lettuce-diarrhea parasite for real? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices