Being neglected, being abused, being shoved into the world without guidance, care, shelter, or protection wired our attachment systems to be on high alert and braced for danger. Depending on what feels safest, your attachment system may try to control external things, resulting in anxious attachment. Or it may choose to avoid the threat all together and be needless and "independent", creating avoidant attachment. Or, if you're like me, you might experience high levels of anxiety about appr...