We discuss the advice from legendary women’s gymnastics coach Valorie Kondos Field about how to ask for a favor or an opportunity in the right way, a listener offers a practical suggestion for using space to manage clutter, and we talk to author Julie Lythcott-Haims about her new book “Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.” Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/321 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

During a funny conversation with a friend about his messy wife, he realized how he could have a more orderly house, without necessarily winning her cooperation. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this Very Special Episode, and in honor of our sixth anniversary, we asked listeners to send us their favorite moments, hacks, solutions, try-this-at-home suggestions and know-yourself-better questions. Plus we reveal our own favorite moments and ideas. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/320 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Stephan Lee’s terrific young-adult novel K-Pop Confidential, the character Candace’s performance illustrates the same lesson that I saw in my daughter Eleanor’s second-grade show on the monkey bars: Sometimes we should expect more from ourselves, and sometimes we should accept ourselves—our own gifts, our own limitations, and our own way to achieve an aim. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For those in the mood for spring cleaning, we suggest clearing clutter by asking “Do I use it, need it, love it?” We talk about April Fool’s Day pranks, ideas for using the return to the workplace as a “clean slate” for starting healthy habits, and hear from Rebels about how to deal with a Rebel teacher who won’t read school emails. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/319 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Understanding my Four Tendencies personality framework, and my own Tendency as an Upholder, revealed to me why I’d behaved inexplicably years ago, when I took my daughter to school in a snowstorm. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We discuss why you might look at your home through the eyes of a stranger, why a simple hook can be so useful , share some excellent before-and-after clutter-clearing triumphs, and discuss listeners’ response to the question, “What valuable lesson have you learned from the pandemic?” Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/318 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The old teaching story of the greedy monkey and the bananas illustrates many notions, including the idea that sometimes we have to let go of a desire in order to free ourselves. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We discuss whether we thrive in an atmosphere with a sense of urgency, share a listener’s happiness hack for drinking less alcohol (without giving it up altogether), and have a conversation with Kim Scott and Trier Bryant about how we can recognize and eliminate workplace injustice. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/317 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One of the best ways to make ourselves happier is to make other people happier. I was made happier by my gesture of loving in tracking down my husband’s iPod than he was made happy by getting it back. Do good, feel good. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices