Life is hard and can knock us down. Or we can be tempted to give up, to go into a room, close the blinds and hide. Some choose a distracting or addicting behavior and numb out.
You are created to be, not just do. When the things you try to do fail or fall short of your hopes, you can still be. 
Whatever is happening, perhaps your existence was intentional, not an accident, that you are a beloved child of God. 
Take some time with Jay to experience some moments of "being."