Men are bad about this. Really everyone, male or female has thoughts going on in their head, much of which isn't said. Sometimes they are words of encouragement, kind curiosity, and love.These caring thoughts just need to come out. It doesn’t have to be a big speech but just a comment to bring them into the light. Things often go unspoken because we fear if they are spoken, they will grow and take over. We may avoid saying something because it could make someone cry. When you speak up with care and compassion, the results can be much better than keeping those thoughts to yourself. Most of the time a tender or important feeling is brought up, the people who share it feel closer to each other afterward. It is a moment of connection. Holding it in, the opposite of speaking up, is a way to keep distance. It keeps distance from the emotions, protects the person from “losing it” and it keeps distance between people. No closeness can develop between people who protect themselves. Go On and Say It!

How does the phrase “brute force” strike you?  It seems this is the way of humankind, we often “brute force” our way. It seems standard procedure to scrape off the top and “brute force” nature, because it just harder to “finesse our way.” Do you prefer to use brute force or finesse? Which do you prefer having used on you?

My wife saw the flashing lights coming through the blinds on the front of our house. She opened to find an ambulance parked at our neighbor's house. Both have struggles, so we did not know which one the ambulance was there for.My mind can spin away in moments like this. It is tempting to go into some active problem solving mode or to choose a distraction. But being here, living in the the fearful or sad as well as the happy is more truly alive. Life has unsolvable problems like death. We don’t want to think about loved ones dying or dying ourselves. But denial doesn’t make it go away. It is good to think of someone you love who has died. You can honor them with your memories and not come apart, and not live only in the sadness. The memories you have are the gifts your loved one continues to give you when you pay attention. Notice this current moment. You are alive, and that is a blessing. 

Isn't all that loud singing of birds in the Spring annoying?  Do you complain about what happens to you rather than observing it and learning from it?It is easy it is to see the negative, and hard to accept things as they come.Become a better observer, and you have a skill for being in the moment.  Or you will miss a lot of what is around you. Right now is full of interesting things. The earth is still spinning on its axis, wonderful creatures of all shapes and sizes fill the land, the skies, and the seas. You can experience some of them. And when you do, there can be gratitude, instead of focus on what is missing, what went wrong, or what annoys. Listen in to a recording made by me on a walk with my dog. You may hear her bark at a goose, the goose squawk, and then a splash when the goose lands in the pond to get away from the dog. But notice the bird songs and other sounds before and after. You can hear layers of sounds near and far away. As you listen, let the sounds of nature calm you and bring you joy!

 It’s kind of casual looking to stand in a twist, but it isn’t good for your joints or muscles. You may find that you, like Jay, tilt to one direction too! Having our bodies in twisted or slumped positions hurts over time. It crowds organs, causes muscles to lengthen and shorten unnaturally, and makes joints hurt. So, when you can, you should work to stand and sit properly to maintain this great body that you are. Yes, the real you is not just a mind that your body carries around, as we sometimes think. Fully occupy your wonderful body, and give it a chance to stand up straight!

Are you annoyed when a traffic light turns green and the car in front of you just sits there? My guess is, the driver is looking at his phone; what would you guess?People drive without paying attention.  When your mind goes into a trance you do things only half paying attention. You get them done but don’t remember them afterward. Typical things we do can be unexciting, so we add other stimuli like radio, TV, conversation, or daydreaming. In the movie City Slickers, Curly tells the “secret of life” by holding up one finger. Then he said, “It’s one thing, just one thing.” When asked what one thing he meant, he said, “That’s what you have to find out.” Listen in to find out that one thing!

There are times when we experience something really nice, and we just want it to last. Being in nature can create a good memory that you can savor. The less than pleasant creates an experience you may want to avoid. When the unpleasant happens we want to get it over with as soon as possible, and forget about it. But neither the good or bad things last, they come and go. This episode encourages living in all the moments of life, and letting them come and go as they will. 

I can look at a situation and decide what it means and get it completely wrong!  Then, if I get it wrong, I react in the wrong way. I’m guessing you have done this too. Sometimes it’s because we are just not paying full attention, so we get half the facts, draw a conclusion, and its off target. Other times we get our conclusion wrong because we come to the situation with a perspective, like colored “lenses” that affect what we see. This episode gives you some tips to deal with this human tendency to get it wrong. We need to be more fully in the moment, with humility. And having the attitude of a learner makes you open to different information. That different information may change your perspective.

Ever lost something valuable? And then when you were honest, you knew you lost it because you were not paying attention? Then it takes more  time to fix things because of a lack of concentration.  That is aggravating!It's a problem, but very human tendency to be distracted and miss important things. You need to improve your attention, but how do you do that? This episode includes easy to follow steps to improve your concentration.

“I never felt better in my life!” he used to say. He was a “glass half full” person. It’s easier to be a “glass half empty” person. Problems parade in front of us on the news, and sometimes even in our own families. Sometimes the problems seem greater than in the past. So maybe it’s impossible to be a “glass half full” person now?Or maybe we need to limit our exposure to the many things we can do nothing about. Challenge yourself to be in the moment, not caught up in negativity. And being more positive and grateful can be more peaceful.