Easy Way Out
Easy Way Out
John Oakes
Sometimes the Easiest Way Out is the Front Door -- Family, Autonomy and Freedom
47 minutes Posted Dec 9, 2022 at 8:00 am.
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The holidays are a time of celebration and family, but sometimes the spirit of Christmas can cast the reality of family or friend dysfunction in painfully sharp relief. In this episode John discusses the Easy Way Out of valued, long-standing relationships that have grown toxic or always were.
Other topics discussed:

  • Why so much pain, anxiety and depression around the holidays emanates from the dichotomy between the values of Christmas and the impoverished reality of our closest relationships.
  • Why the religious legacy of Christmas complicates this
  • How the ten commandments have given toxic parents unfair and undeserved leverage over their offspring
  • How toxic people are eager to use all things of spiritual, divine or religious significance as a way to advance their selfish interests.
  • Why guilt and shame are immediate and dominant voices in our heads preventing us from redrawing the boundaries of family relationships
  • Why boundaries exist in family relationships whether we ignore them or not.
  • If you don't see to your boundaries, no one else will
  • Why well-parented children develop autonomy
  • Why autonomy allows, nay, demands that children get to choose their level or relationship with their parents.
  • When an adult does not feel the freedom to dictate and redraw the boundaries of their most significant relationships, this is a huge indicator that they really need to.
  • The levels of increasingly toxic rhetoric and behavior toxic individuals progress through the more you resist their lies, manipulation and violence
  • Why you always quit, ending up beaten into submission
  • But then seek out unhealthy ways to rebel against the parent
  • Why childhood rebellion so often involves food
  • While children sand teens may have a desire to rebel as a means of forming self-identity, this does not mean teens MUST rebel with parents.
  • Why your growth and healing can massively benefit from taking temporary breaks from family or friends.
  • Why you absolutely deserve to put yourself and your health and wellbeing first
  • Along with some updates on Oakes Weight Loss' growth as a business and vehicle for effecting change
  • And John's vision for how his coaching services can expand their reach in 2023.



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