What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fucking Date, about lowering the stakes in dating, stopping the need to control the outcome, and staying open to connections that don’t look exactly how you expected.Serena shares how meeting her boyfriend challenged her assumptions about age, success, and what the “right” partner should look like, plus the mindset shifts that helped her stop overmanaging her dating life and actually enjoy it.We’re getting into how to...Use Serena’s “potential, practice, or plot” framework to make every date feel worthwhileStop putting so much pressure on every first date to become somethingStay open to people who don’t fit the picture you had in your headTell the difference between showing interest and doing too muchGive someone enough space to actually reveal how interested they areLet go of control when dating feels uncertainGet out of your comfort zone when your dating life feels stagnantStop treating self-improvement like a formula that guarantees you a relationshipKnow when an “ick” is meaningful and when you might need to get a gripDate with a more abundant mindset when age and timelines are stressing you outTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYDate Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?Say hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's potential and staying in situationships to taking constant dating breaks, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and being pen pals. I'm also sharing what to do differently so you can protect your time and energy and get closer to the relationship you actually want.In this episode, you'll learn:Why dating someone's potential can keep you invested way too longHow staying in a situationship can delay you from finding your personWhy constantly taking breaks from dating may be slowing you down and what to work on insteadHow speaking up about small issues early can reveal someone's ability to handle conflictWhat it means to date from your "back foot" and why it's a time wasterWhy texting for weeks before meeting can create false intimacyHow to recognize red flags without confusing them with preferencesWhy getting curious about someone's behavior can help you make better decisions soonerHow to stay grounded in who someone is today instead of who you hope they'll becomePlus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 40-year-old man who just learned that his new girlfriend occasionally smokes cigarettes and he's not sure what to do.Ready to date with intention? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker at thedatetracker.com! (iOS link)MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEEp 260 - How to end a situationshipEp 186 - Tips for taking a dating breakEp 286 - Balancing effort in early datingEp 192 - Sneaky red flags in early datingTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSay hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How much is your self-worth affecting the way you date? In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about how our past experiences can shape what we believe we deserve, how we interpret rejection, and even our ability to accept love from someone who genuinely likes us. We’ll also explore what it means to build self-worth and how to stop dating from a place of fear and start going after what you want.We’re getting into how to...Understand the difference between self-esteem and self-worthRecognize when you’re dating to avoid rejection instead of pursuing what you wantUnderstand why rejection hits some people so much harder than othersIdentify old experiences that may still be shaping how you see yourselfStop assuming someone doesn’t like you when there’s no evidence they don’tBuild self-worth by paying attention and responding to your emotionsKnow when you’re seeking healthy reassurance versus outsourcing your worth to a partnerNavigate dating when you don’t feel completely confident or worthy yetMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEWorth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment by Dr. Marisa G. FrancoMarisa's websiteTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYReady to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?Say hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.In this episode, you'll learn:What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behaveCommon patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soonThe three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating lifeWhy I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differentlyHow I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for meWhy consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attentionHow tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the momentHow to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choicesPlus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEEpisode 277 on IRL dating What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji keyTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSay hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you stay open-minded in dating without settling for less than what you want? And what happens when someone treats you well, checks a lot of the important boxes, but something still feels… off?In this episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist Jordanne Sculler to talk about the messy, nuanced parts of dating that don’t fit neatly into a set of rules. We unpack why familiar relationship dynamics can feel more attractive than healthy ones, why self-awareness alone doesn’t always break old patterns, and how to tell when you’re honoring your needs versus shrinking yourself to keep someone around.Listen for...How to be open in dating without lowering your standardsWhy dating checklists can get in the way of real connectionThe difference between self-soothing and suppressing a legitimate needWhy someone healthy might initially feel uncomfortable or unfamiliarHow to stop focusing so much on whether someone likes you and ask whether you like themWhat dating disappointment can bring up about your self-worthHow social media can reinforce negative stories about datingGrieving the relationship or life timeline you thought you’d have by nowWhy processing disappointment is different from simply “getting over it”How Jordanne met her husband after initially writing him offAnd at the end, we answer a dating dilemma from a woman wondering if she made a huge mistake by ending things with a great guy who didn’t feel like her person.THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYReady to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)Say hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tiny habits that can help you get better dating results, feel more confident and in control, and make dating a little more enjoyable. We’ll talk about how to make decisions without endlessly second-guessing yourself, learn from your dates, show interest without playing games, protect your mindset from dating negativity, and get clear on intentions early.In this episode, we cover:How being more decisive can build confidence and self-trustWhy tracking and reflecting on your dates can help you spot patterns and learn what actually works for youHow to show interest when you're interested without playing it cool or worrying about “double texting”Why opting out of negative dating narratives can help you stay open and hopefulHow bringing up your intentions early can help you avoid confusion, situationships, and wasted timeDating habits from the Dating Intentionally community that helped people stay grounded and keep goingA dating dilemma about bad timing, competing connections, and whether being direct after two dates was “too much”Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEEpisode 286 - If they wanted to they would? The truth about effort in datingTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSay hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What can you learn from a first date that was just okay? And why does what happens after the date sometimes tell you more than the date itself? This is another episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on a listener to walk me through a recent first date, from matching and messaging to the date itself, the post-date feelings, and what happened next.This time, I’m talking to Katelyn (39), a single mom looking for a long-term relationship. She met “Trey” on Facebook Dating, moved the conversation over to Instagram, and eventually went on a two-hour dinner date.We’re getting into:Why she prefers active first dates over dinnerHow she uses Instagram in her dating lifeThe green flags she looks for in dating app conversationsHow she realized she wasn’t actually that excited about himWhy feeling safe and having a “good enough” time doesn’t automatically mean you should go on a second dateThe post-date interaction that gave her a whole new data pointHer firm boundary around second dates at homeHow she decides whether to give someone another chanceAnd how to spend less time on the apps while getting to the date fasterPlus, Katelyn shares her best advice for staying positive when dating feels like a never-ending series of almosts.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.Get the Date Tracker app (iOS only for now) so you can do your own vibe checks!THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first orderMORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whether you’re newly single, coming out of a long-term relationship, or you’ve simply been out of the dating world for years, getting back into dating can feel overwhelming. The apps have changed, the dating culture has changed, and you may have changed, too. In this episode, I’m breaking down how to get back into the dating scene with less pressure, more confidence, and a whole lot more perspective. Think of this as your dating bestie’s guide to getting your feet wet again without expecting yourself to immediately find your future spouse.Listen for:How to know if you’re actually ready to date Why your first goal should simply be going on a date, not finding a relationshipHow to lower the stakes Why awkward, boring, or unsuccessful dates are actually part of the processThe different ways to meet people to dateHow to manage fears around rejection, inexperience, being judged, or someone changing their mindWhy you need to stop getting ahead of yourself How journaling, setting intentions, and finding ways to feel confident can make the process feel more manageableThe biggest lessons I learned when I jumped back into dating after a six-year relationshipAnd I'm sharing a new dating dilemma at the end about trying to figure out whether someone wants kids before you date them.THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first orderMORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYStart tracking dates with Date Tracker (iOS)Submit a dating dilemmaReveal your dating blindspot (quiz)Book a 1:1 with meSlide into my DMs on IGWatch the pod on YouTube See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If someone doesn't have any red flags, is that a green flag? This is the third episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me, from how they met and planned the date to what actually happened and how they felt afterward.This time, I'm talking to Jenny, a 27-year-old in the UK who is relatively new to dating and using it to build confidence, meet people, and figure out what she actually wants. She met "Steve" on Breeze, an app that skips the messaging and gets you straight to the date. We're getting into her unconventional first-date setup, the venue that had absolutely no vibe, the spontaneous bar-hopping that followed, and the green flags and amber flags she noticed along the way. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first orderMORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with me See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How much information do you actually need before you make a decision in your dating life? In this episode, I’m answering four real dating dilemmas that all come down to that one question.We’re talking about dating two people and not knowing who to choose, deciding whether a sexual-health disclosure is a deal breaker, trying to figure out whether a struggling relationship is still worth fighting for, and realizing in hindsight that someone wasn’t quite who you thought they were.The common thread? You’re rarely going to get 100% certainty in early dating. Instead, you have to learn how to gather information, stay connected to your values, and make decisions based on what you actually know, not what you wish you knew.Submit a dating dilemmaIn this episode:How to choose between two people without turning dating into a competitionWhat to do when someone discloses an STI and you’re unsure how you feel about itHow to tell when someone is overwhelmed by life versus no longer prioritizing the relationshipWhat to make of someone who seems great at first but gradually reveals a very different side of themselvesWhy you should evaluate people against your own needs, not against each otherHow to make good dating decisions without waiting for perfect certaintyTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first orderMORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYBook a 1:1 with meSlide into my DMs on IGWatch the pod on YouTubeReveal your dating blindspot (quiz) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.