The Tim Conway Jr. Show Hour 3 (6.29) 

Baseball needs to ditch the umpires calling balls and strikes — they’re getting too old and their eyesight just isn’t what it used to be! Timmy fires up the iconic Donald Trump ditty about immigrants in Springfield eating cats and dogs, while sharing the wild story of a crocodile attacking and killing a man on the beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico — crazy to think crocs have been around for 250 million years and survived the dinosaur extinction!  

California is going full high-tech in the war on porch pirates with more license plate readers and aerial drones to catch package thieves. Timmy also admits he’s a full-blown Battery Daddy with way too many batteries at home.  

Costco is cracking down hard, kicking out members for abusing the generous return policy, skipping the receipt check, stealing, misusing the cancellation policy, mistreating employees, or sharing their membership card. And Tim’s been deep on the SpaceX IPO drama that created 4,000 overnight multimillionaires now hunting for mansions, while proudly announcing his epic Alaska cruise this summer with 145 friends, fans, and foes is completely sold out — it’s gonna be one hell of a “Love Boat”!

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