Just your average day -- where one of us heroically intervened in a possible abduction and the police responded with the enthusiasm of someone being asked to do literally anything -- great job everyone, we're all fine here. Also, in a dystopian twist we should have seen coming, Jess has apparently been blacklisted by robots, black bears make the rules, Amazon is screwing audiobook narrators out of their royalties with math so creative it should be illegal, a product review that probably originated in Penthouse, the womb-touching literary stylings of a 70-novel romance author, and Chris materializing on the call the exact moment someone said the word "sex," because of course he did. Admit it: you secretly love us. (would it hurt ya to leave a review or are we just past that now?)

