The times, they are a-changin’ friends. Welcome to the American Horror Stream recap for episode two of AHS: Apocalypse, “The Morning After”, rightly titled after a good ribbing from Michael Langdon and the necessary steps one must take to avoid any surprises after a night of outrageous and un-planned shenanigans. This week’s episode opens with our fairer sexed teenage mutant, Emily, undressing after a long day at the depressing Outpost. While adjusting her mood lighting, her wardrobe opens as if it suddenly got a wild cursed furniture up it’s behind. Upon closer inspection, Emily finds live snakes crawling about her Prince inspired threads, totally messing up said mood lighting from earlier. Timothy runs in upon hearing his love scream in terror and so valiantly swoops her up from danger … wait … no that’s not what happened here. He swooped in and jumped on the bed in terror, along with Emily, scared for his life over the creepy crawlers. It’s Miriam and the Cooperative Hulk to the rescue as they both go hog wild chopping off snake heads. Now that’s how you blow off some steam while living underground during nuclear winter, folks. Miriam is ecstatic at some fresh protein, mmmmm, and assures they will test the snakes for any contamination. *cue dinner bell* The Greys roll in some yummy snake stew and Coco rolls out a rather tame and silky hairstyle, which begs the question … did Langdon bring some killer hair product with him, and if so, is he sharing with Coco? She objects to snake stew and delivers a one-liner about eating things with too many legs or none at all, but doesn’t get out of it without a quick comeback from Andre about having no objections to eating the Stu stew. *snaps, snaps, snaps* Of course, it’s Dinah to the rescue with her words of wisdom and her reassuring thoughts on adapting to the new norm, which may include eating something, or someone, that may have otherwise been a hard no in our former lives. Not to be outdone, Nana Evie has to throw in her annoying anecdote about having this same delicacy in Kuala Lumpur, blah, blah, sorry I feel asleep for 30 seconds while she unnecessarily filled a quiet moment that could have been used for reflection. Emily grows a pair and dares to question Ms. Venable about who is in her office. Timothy decides to grow some too, although I think Emily’s are bigger.  Venable is annoyed and she dodges questions while everyone opens their warm bubbling lids to live snakes lunging from their bowls just like the ole snake in a can gag. Everyone jumps back in fear and surprise at the once dead snakes and can hardly contain their disdain as once again their second chance at something other than a cube-mallow for dinner is ruined. The teenage mutants are gossiping about the snakes, and the special guest of Outpost #3, when Miriam catches them and they scatter quicker than the table after their snake surprise earlier. We come upon what I am declaring as the first ever Outpost #3 Town Hall hosted by the one and only Michael Langdon. *scattered applause* In true Coco fashion, she shows up dressed to impress with her medusa ‘do and a bad attiude. Langdon comes out of the gate strong like a bull that’s just had his genitals pulled and lays it out plain and simple. He lets his constituents know that his arrival is crucial to their survival as they are now the only successful outpost to have made it in the United States, possibly internationally as well. The three other outposts in the continental U.S., Syracuse, NY, Bleckley, WV, and San Angelo, TX, have been overrun and destroyed. They’ve had no contact with the six international compounds, but are anticipating the same results nonetheless. The residents of Outpost #3 want question what happened at the other safe houses and can’t wait to share the good news: massacre. Langdon goes on to tease the Sanctuary and all its greatness to our players and really drives home that it’s the Disneyland for post-nuclear s...

Hey ho, let’s go! It’s that time again – American Horror Story debuted their eighth season, Apocalypse, on Wednesday Sept. 12, and let’s just say it was both horrific and comedic, to say the least. This installment has easily been the highest anticipated season as we will finally be rewarded with the crossover we’ve all waited for – season one’s Murder House and season three’s Coven. While Apocalypse will feature it’s own new plot, many of the players from Murder House and Coven will be returning to reprise their coveted roles. Of course we’re finally getting the *possible* showdown of a lifetime thanks to none other than Michael Langdon, aka the devil spawn born to Vivien Harmon and Tate Langdon in season one of the anthology series. Now let’s get down to brass tacks and recap what we know so far after the premiere of season eight.  And if you want to watch the live show, jump to the bottom of the page!   GAME APOCALYPSE: Who are the players? Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt: Social media influencer/billionaire heiress. The character you love to hate, but hate to love. She’s here to whine, especially when she dines at Outpost #3.  Mr. Gallant: Sassy and classy hair stylist that believes he can convince you no one else has the same hairstyle as you. Mallory: Personal assistant to Coco, she takes the grunt of Coco’s verbal harassment, but needs the money I suppose. Brock: Coco’s contractual husband who is later released of all marital obligations and left to incinerate along with the rest of the poor souls left in the city. Evie Gallant: Mr. Gallant’s rich and oblivious Nana. She opens with chastising her housekeeper for serving her “burnt champagne” (a classic Dynasty quip starring the one and only Joan Collins) only to be told the world is ending while her dashing grandson swoops in to save the day. But not without fresh champagne for the road. Timothy Campbell: One of the genetically fit chosen survivors to take to Outpost #3. Timothy is part of a, ironically, nuclear family who has just been accepted by UCLA before being ripped from his family and thrown into an armored Hummer. Goodbye yellow brick road. Timothy’s DNA was obtained from an ancestry DNA kit submitted online. *WARNING PEOPLE: Don’t fall for this slick plan orchestrated by a secret society that will use your DNA for good or evil eventually.* Emily: Another genetic mutant (aptly named after my love of X-Men and their genetic mutation for super powers). Emily was sprung outta the pokey and put in the same bunker as Timothy before the nuclear missile strikes LA. *NOTE: it’s assumed she’s a teenage mutant because she’s with Timothy, but this isn’t actually confirmed in episode one. Ms. Wilhemina Venable: The leader of Outpost #3 who also won’t stand for being called anything but Ms. Venable. She’s stiff and walks with a cane, but can serve up a cold bitch slap when the time is necessary. She’s also a conniving, evil, soulless woman, and that’s just from the first episode. Miriam Mead: Ex-military with killing in her DNA. She proves to be a ruthless executioner with a surprising hit of moral compass around Ms. Venable. She’s a trickster so don’t let her near you with a Geiger counter or you’re the next day’s warm meal. Andre Stevens/Stu Stew: This beautiful couple is also in Outpost #3 and have an undying love. That is until Miriam runs her Giger trick on poor unsuspecting Stu and well … the rest is settling quite well in Nana Evie’s belly. The best white meat chicken she’s had and, BONUS, it’s full of fiber. Andre is not pleased and understandably upset although Ms. Venable and Miriam “assure” everyone that eating dead bodies are at the top of their no-no list.