One of the biggest themes  in our culture that is obsessed with self-sufficiency and independence is this idea of "you are enough".  But there's a dark side to this type of thinking. It invalidates the reality that humans evolved to be in a village or community with other people. We were never meant to be totally self sufficient. It's not the most fulfilling way to relate to life. It becomes toxic when people feel inadequate when they are dealing with the big challenges such as:Job lossSerious illnessRelationship lossesWhile it's true that we have everything we need within ourselves, it is also true that we weren't meant to do it all alone.  But our culture is addicted to self-sufficiency. As a result, many people are under the impression they should be completely independent to the point that they feel a deep shame when asking for help... Maybe the only thing with thinking that there's something wrong with us if we can't do everything alone is the idea that we are supposed to be able to do so. 

Most people know that personal boundaries are important when engaging with other people.  Yet many people struggle with how to do boundaries well. In this episode, I share 3 common mistakes that I see in clients that keep people from being able to create the boundaries they need with other people. Since these mistakes live in peoples' blind spots, clients are often very surprised when they step into the full awareness of them.3 premises that may surprise you:Boundaries aren't about changing other peoples' behavior. They are about keeping you safe, and they are things in your control. What most people think are boundaries are usually just requests to try to get other people to do what they want, rather than actions they can do to protect their time, energy, money, etc.Boundaries don't require sign-off from others to be considered "valid". What other people think of your boundaries (approval or disapproval) doesn't matter. Boundaries are valid simply because you set them for yourself.You don't need to fully understand someone's boundaries in order to respect those boundaries. Things go easier of when people lose the need to for a full understanding or explanation of someone else's boundaries before respecting those boundaries. It's not necessary or appropriate.*****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/

This is much more personal than what I usually share. But it's what's been on my mind as far as what is truly needed in the world. I see this pattern happening in many spiritual and personal development circles ("Everyone should be more high-vibe like me and then problems would resolve themselves"), and it keeps people from being able to impact the world in a more meaningful way...The world needs you. Right now. Thoughtful, wise deep listeners who can sit and marinate with the challenges of the world without assuming they (or just "high vibes") have the answers to everything. SKIP THIS ESPISODE if you want something fast and shiny.*****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/

Everyone's been "ghosted" at some point. It's when someone you're in a relationship with suddenly disengages from you, and you don't know why. They don't return your phone calls or your messages. It's as if you suddenly cease to exist to them. The worst thing is not knowing why. It can be traumatic. Join me in this conversation with "Rosemary", who has devoted an entire podcast to this social phenomena. Why is ghosting happening? What are red flags people can be on the look-out for to reduce their risk of being hurt in this way?If you'd like more information on Rosemary's podcast, to to:https://theghostpodcast.com/IG: theghostpodcaststoriesGmail: [email protected] Ghost Podcast: a podcast created to share stories about the experiences of ghosting. Do you have a ghost to share? Rosemary would love to hear from you!***

Have you been raised to be ashamed of being angry? Have you been told it's unspiritual?If you've been raised to feel that anger is bad and you are on a spiritual growth or personal development path, this clip is for you.  Anger is a natural emotion that people are often scared to feel. But ignoring anger or trying to meditate it away can carry a heavy price. Disease, abuse,  depression, and a life unfulfilled -- these are often the result of people afraid to feel and tap into the messages their anger is sending them.

A lot of the helping professions can be put into 4 basic quadrants. Most people are aware of 3 but there is 1 that is often missing that can add value if you're feeling stuck. And this one missing quadrant used to be more readily accessible in previous eras in man's history. It may be why many people feel lost today. *****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/

Many women find themselves attracting men they end up mothering. Whether it's on the dating scene or in more committed relationships, this dance can leave women feeling resentful, exhausted and frustrated. Even when there is plenty of love, women often don't understand why this pattern repeats itself.  In fact, women sometimes assume there is something within them that attracts needy men,Like anything, the answer is often found on both sides of a relationship, and it's often hard to identify because so much lives in peoples' blind spots. Typically we only notice blind spots in others, and it is hard to see our own. A mothering dynamic in partnership is not very sexy.  It can hold both people back from a more fulfilling relationship. The first step is to notice what is happening. That way you can take steps to change the subconscious dance that is going on between you and your partner.Listen to this clip to see if you find what might be happening in your relationship. There are some basic patterns that tend to happen, even if the specifics are different for each couple. Tune in and get a sense of the difference between a mothering energy and a true fulfilling peer-to-peer relationship.  *****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/

By far the number one challenge my clients face in relationships is this dance between the fear of being too independent and too dependent on others. Whether someone is hyper- independent and feeling lonely or codependent and needing constant support from other people, these issues are actually opposite sides of the same coin, the dance between independence and codependence.  It also results in either:Feeling exhausted and "strong" for everyone else but lonely insideDifficulty in letting people "in" and keeping a wall upWorry that they'll burden other people by sharing what bothers themFeeling resentful from always giving to others but not having people around who reciprocate backOrNeeding validation from other people to feel strong Fear of being aloneFear of being "too much" for other people to handle, feeling like they have to tone themselves down somehowOften people talk about the need for "balance". But what they tend to mean is a certain meeting in the middle of not-too-independent and not-too-codependent as being the solution. But in my experience, an approach that invites people to be fully independent AND codependent helps people step into who they truly are, with no holds barred.  It often surprises people how resistant they are to an energy of what they don't want to be but already are.  The best intimacy comes from the freedom of being able to express both ends of the spectrum, and everything in between. Subscribe for more tips on how to be human in a world full of twitchy humans. You have one life. Make it the best one you can.*****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/

Popular psychology and personal development thought leaders tend to emphasize the importance of qualities such as compassion, understanding, nurturing and unconditional love. If we could just be more of these things, our lives should be more manageable, right?  And yes,  these things are wonderful. BUT.... If you happen to be dog lover, you may recognize that these energies come from what mama dogs instinctively know are the "milk mom" energies of life. It's the energy they exude when they're tending to their young puppies. But there's another side of healthy momma dog energy that humans have sometimes lost touch with, a side that is equally important and instinctive. It's the  "push back/boundary" energy. Without this "push back" energy, unhappy momma dogs and puppies result, as well as unhappy and dysfunctional humans.Humans have lost the ability to wrestle and scuffle like pups to learn what boundaries feel like. People think boundaries is a technique or a concept more than a feeling. As a result, anytime there is a conflict in life, things feel emotionally scary. Everything feels like a fight to the death, and we lost our milk teeth a long time ago.Today, learn from the wisdom of mama dogs everywhere and start to change your life. Subscribe for more tips on how to be human in a world full of twitchy humans. You have one life. Make it the best one you can.*****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/

Everyone wants a life of purpose, but what does that mean? And how do you figure it out? Purpose is one of those words that people intuitively feel is big and important in life, but it's hard to fully understand it at the same time.Purpose goes beyond just consuming and living a life of leisure, which many people assume would be fabulous. But just consuming is rarely enough. People are wired to also have a natural impulse to create, contribute and connect. But we don't have good guides to help us figure this part out. No one's purpose is to sit around and only relax every day for the rest of their lives. But what would it be? What would you do, once you had enough rest, all the money you needed, etc?We'd want it to be enjoyable. But not in a passive consuming way, but one of active engagement."Wouldn't it be amazing if..."?Subscribe for more tips on how to be human in a world full of twitchy humans. You have one life. Make it the best one you can.*****Next Spark Your Feminine Presence group: https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/I've helped thousands of professional, spiritual, perfectionist women (and some amazing men) create happiness and success in an imperfect world. Clarifying and honing in on your life's purpose is essential for reaching your full potential. What is it you're meant to be doing? You have one life. Make it glorious, bodacious and fulfilling. For more information on me, check out linktr.ee/AdeleWangBook a complimentary Discovery Conversation: https://my.timetrade.com/book/3MDN1Or grab a free gift from me here, "The Ultimate Women's Stress Relief Guide":  http://usrg.safehavenhealing.net/