A tangled ball of spaghetti. That’s how aspiring therapist Rebecca Gonzalez-Ojeda describes her ADHD brain. Diagnosed with ADHD in fifth grade, Rebecca grew up hearing messages to “just try harder” while struggling with school and self-esteem. It felt like giving 110% still wasn’t enough. Rebecca reflects on painful IEP meetings, discouraging comments from teachers, and the emotional drain of being misunderstood for years. She also shares what it was like “raw-dogging” life after losing access to treatment, then getting re-diagnosed with ADHD after college — and how ADHD medication changed her life.

Sam Pittis and Katie Breathwick — best friends and co-hosts of You’re Wrong About ADHD — compare their very different reactions to being diagnosed with ADHD. Katie came to her ADHD diagnosis through her teenage son and felt a sense of excitement and clarity. Sam felt shaken. He began to see his years of depression, emotional crashes, and coping habits in a new way. Hear how ADHD shows up uniquely in the two of them, from emotional dysregulation and sensory struggles to disorganization and missed signs in childhood. Also in this episode: gender differences, late diagnosis, and the quiet grief of wondering what might have been.

ADHD symptoms can be easy to miss — even when you’re someone who knows a lot about ADHD. Kim Holderness shares her adult ADHD diagnosis and the complicated feelings that came with it. Kim felt embarrassed and like a fraud. For years, she assumed her anxiety and emotional ups and downs were simply part of the very real load many busy moms carry. Kim and Penn Holderness — creators, authors, and the couple behind the Holderness Family — have long been surrounded by ADHD in their life and work. In a quick, sweet cameo, Penn (who also has ADHD) shares how he supports Kim in practical ways, like handling paperwork and day-to-day logistics.

Carla Ciccone, author of Nowhere Girl: Life as a Member of ADHD’s Lost Generation, shares what it’s like to grow up thinking you’re the problem. She talks about learning to mask when she was just 6 years old and living with constant negative self-talk. Like many girls with ADHD, Carla hid her struggles and felt like a lost cause. Carla opens up about her inner voice — the one that says “you’re stupid” — and how fear, failure, and pressure from others can build deep self-doubt. Motherhood became a turning point, pushing her to change the way she spoke to herself so her daughter wouldn’t continue the cycle. Also in this episode: Carla draws parallels between her experiences with asthma and ADHD.

Marriage and family therapist Kaitlin Soulé shares her story and expertise. She opens up about rage — especially “mom rage” — and the sensory overload and shame that often come with it. Kaitlin and Laura talk about what rage actually feels like (it’s more than just yelling), and how constant noise at home can push them past their limits. They also look at how “rage” is often framed as a women’s issue. (Have you ever heard anyone talk about “dad rage”?) Kaitlin shares practical ways to come down from intense moments and repair things with loved ones. The conversation also touches on masking — why it can be easier to hold it together at work, but not at home. ADHD and mood swings come up too, and why some women are misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Kim Tran spent years chasing perfection: a high achiever who believed struggle wasn’t an option. As an Asian American woman raised with the pressures of the model minority myth, asking for help felt like failure. But after being encouraged three separate times to get evaluated for ADHD, Kim finally said yes — after becoming a mom and realizing she wanted something different for her child. In this conversation, Kim talks about perfectionism, cultural expectations, and why martyrdom isn’t a badge of honor. She shares how learning to ask for help reshaped her life, and how she’s modeling a healthier path for the next generation.

Matt Klein thought he was dealing with depression. After a job change and the arrival of a new baby, he found himself in a fog. Listless. Unmotivated. And vaguely “off.” He just didn’t want to do anything. His wife noticed the shift, too. But the depression diagnosis never fully explained it. It wasn’t until he was evaluated as an adult that inattentive ADHD and slow processing speed brought his story into focus. Matt, a software engineer, shares a story about a door that hung slightly askew — and how intensely it bothered him. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. That crooked door became a metaphor for his experience with undiagnosed ADHD: the mental friction, the fixation, the sense that something was out of alignment.

When Fellisia Robinson was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, everything started to make sense. In this episode, she talks with Laura about what it was like to finally get answers later in life. For years, she struggled with burnout. She felt relentless pressure to achieve — like she always had to prove herself. Her diagnosis helped her understand herself in a new way and then rethink what productivity even means. Fellisia shares what it was like growing up as a first-generation eldest daughter and navigating corporate spaces as a Black woman. She talks about perfectionism, masking, and choosing soft productivity over constant hustle. Along the way, she’s learning to slow down and give herself grace. And she’s seeing ADHD as a doorway to self-awareness and strength, not a limitation. Fellisia is the founder of Brown Girl ADHD, which provides education and community for Black women and women of color with ADHD.

Andrea Jones-Rooy — data scientist, comedian, and fire-eating acrobat — talks candidly about feeling like a failure even when all evidence points to the contrary. With sharp humor and vulnerability, she describes having “no self-esteem” (not low — none), limited willpower, and a reliance on fear and external pressure to get things done. Andrea, who hosts the podcast Behind the Data, gives herself very little grace. She remains skeptical of her ADHD diagnosis. But one ADHD challenge feels impossible to dismiss: time blindness. Together, Andrea and Laura explore what it means to be present — and why that presence often comes more easily at work or on stage, where the stakes feel high, than with the people we love most. For more on this topic Read: ADHD and time blindness Listen: Behind the Data podcast For a transcript and more resources, visit ADHD Aha! on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Brandon Hogstad — a scientist, musician, big thinker, and co-host of a dream interpretation podcast — talks about how ADHD showed up in his adult academic life. As challenges emerged, finishing projects became a persistent struggle. A high school valedictorian, Brandon entered college with confidence and a strong academic track record. College didn’t derail him. But it brought him down to earth. For the first time, he realized he’d never really learned how to study — and that raw intelligence only goes so far. The experience reshaped his ego and deepened his understanding of his ADHD brain. Brandon reflects on working with, not against, his ADHD. And the conversation turns when, right on the spot, he interprets a dream that host Laura Key shares.