After a slight hiatus for various reasons, AHP is back with Feature Contestant Jess and some other guy that the host can't remember. He might be named Scott. That's probably not correct. Anyway, Jess and the clown spend this episode pitching powerful DJs, clock museums, and something to do with junkyards, among other things. There's a whole geopolitical thing to it. It's funnier than it sounds. Maybe. TV Shows Designed For This Episode Jess (@legkicktko): Wrapped/Rapped Up, Party Moms Scott or something? (@jtabrys): Last Chances, Cheap Skates And both take out the trash with their pitches for JUNKYARD PIMPS Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

Real life schedules are running tight this week in AHP Land, so I would like to share with everyone the debut of Opposite Attractions, a brand new podcast hosted by AHP host Jim and AHP contestant Scottye wherein they dream up wacky theme park and theme park attraction ideas and share them with you, the listener. We both hope that you like the show and subscribe (Links to the show's website and the iTunes page will be below). Episode 48 of AHP will be up sometime this week or at any rate by next Tuesday (September 12th). Thanks again for listening!Links:Opposite Attractions on iTunesOpposite Attractions (main site)Opposite Attractions on Stitcher

This week, BOARD GAMES!! Insert airhorn sound here as Jess and Scottye bring the professionalism to contestant's row as they make shows based on titles from random board games Jim found from a list on the internet. Bask in awe of elaborate bake sales, the villainous BoomMan, and...like...three dogs. Featuring an incredibly odd cameo of Owen Wilson from deep within the recesses of Scottye's messed up brain, you can't possibly go wrong by checking this out. Ka-chow! TV Shows Designed For This Episode Jess (@legkicktko): King Of Tokyo, Burgle Bros. Scottye (@scottyemo): Space Hulk, Two Rooms & A Boom And both roll the dice for CA$H AND GUN$. Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

After another accidental week off, AHP returns with two former contestants and one feature contestant! Jess brings the Zing Zang Zoom, Seth continues to bring the slight audio issues (our bad, sorry) and Piper brings the absurd amounts of laughter. Jim just brings the horrible titles and keywords, as is per his usual. Go ahead and make a spare room for Gary Busey, because this........is a horrible premise! TV Shows Designed For This Episode Jess (@legkicktko): Protect That Neck, Jort Circuit Piper (@fyzzgiggidy): Storm Rush, Spreading Joy Seth (@theleakymind): Scale The Rock, Olaf Strong And everyone goes for the gold with their pitches for TREASURE CASTLE. Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

This week it's a venerable whirlwind of puns as Jim welcomes Jess (as usual) and Seth (for, like, the third or fourth time) to contestant's row! There's butts, there's nuts, and there's even 150 pairs of male lovers. Somehow none of those things are related, which we still can't quite explain. Jess pitches too many shows for three rounds, while Seth does his best to keep his spawn in line while we record (you may notice some slight audio hiccups here and there because Skype on a cellphone is rather not unlike a pile of tires that is on fire). Also, stick around to hear the Guy Fieri Fun Fact Of The Week at the very end, even if it's not even that good of a thing! TV Shows Designed For This Episode Jess (@legkicktko): Get Real!, You Are It Seth (@theleakymind): Bum Deals, Nuts To This And both contestants get down and dirty with their pitch for LOVE WARRIORS. Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

On this week's episode, feature contestant Jess is joined by new contestant Mike (different from the other Mike and the other other Mike, and probably some other ones we are forgetting) as they pitch everything from weapon sales to supernatural car repair as we travel from rural Miami to Northern Southern Ireland and as usual on this program it all ends with a quick stop in Flavortown. Of course, Flava Flav plays himself. TV Shows Designed In This Episode Jess (@legkicktko): Kissin' Ninjas, Phil The Van Mike (@madmike4883): Someone Else's Arms, Irrational Chef And both contestants do their best to make something out of the mish-mash that is FLAVOR OF JUSTICE. Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart) Jim would also like to apologize for accidentally referring to the great Sam Elliot as Sam Wilson, who is Marvel Comic's Falcon, somewhere around the 32 minute mark.

After an accidental week off, your host decides he wants to play the game too! Oh no! Jess and Scottye return and help guide Jim through pitches full of mystery, sex,  snacks, and sex with snacks. It gets lit AF, so check it out! Just remember, only one bean is allowed. TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): The Catamaran Mysteries, Snack Attack Scottye(@scottyemo): Meat & Potatoes, Yank The Chain Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart): Sam Handwich Attorney At Law, Danger Baby And all three get back on that sick MBMBAM referencing train and light the world on fire with BEAN FREAK    

This week, Jess and Scottye return (and Blake doesn't) for a spiritual sequel to last week's episode. We begin with pies and frogs and move to furries and boobies and finish with the ghost of Rick James, who probably would enjoy at least a few of the previous four things mentioned. This might not be as iconic as the Gathering of the Juggalos, but K.C. Bones wants you to know that the furces will be with you, always, and that's a good thing too because it's time for your annual pogo stick evaluation this week on A HORRIBLE PREMISE! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Secrets And Pies, Garden Bros, The Fun Company Scottye(@scottyemo): Tiny Frogs, Fur World, The Funk Company And please remember to check out our Patreon and give us your support if you would like to hear Scottye giving it his all as he performs the lyrics of the Insane Clown Posse under the guise of Lin-Manuel Miranda.  Host: Jim(@apparentlysmart)

In this week's episode, Jess spins a tale of murder and rebellious teen girl bodies, Scotty spins a tale of troll murder and tasty milkshakes, and Blake spins a tale of folded paper and Skip Sheffield, and that's only one premise from each of this week's contestants! Listen in as other aliases of Ryan Reeves also appear, along with Ray Romano, Brad Garrett, and somehow even the McElroy Brothers (note: "appear" means to be mentioned in passing in the middle of a goof) TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Shut Up And Dance, Mission: Pants! Scottye(@scottyemo): Hoosta Blame (or something), Shake It Down (aka T2:TSTT:SID:FTMB) Blake(@blakeatanner): Origami Grandma, Taco Hell And all three combine their powers to do...something...with THE OLD DAYS Host: Jim(@apparentlysmart)

It's that time again! Jim counts down his top ten pitches from the last twenty episodes...BUT WAIT! There may be some chicanery afoot. Which pitches made the cut? Listen and find out! Featuring The Talents Of: Jess(@legkicktko) Scottye(@scottyemo) Blake(@blakeatanner) Dave(@fatherdog) Ari(@ari_amaru) Shikaki(Youtube) Dan(@danmacrae) Log(@oldcaptainlog)   Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)