Detailed
Compact
Art
Reverse
March 29, 2016
If you're a big fan of The Mating Grounds, the best place for you to go is The Art Of Charm and listen to Jordan's archived podcast episodes. 
February 9, 2016
Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Charlie Hoehn talk about the end of the beginning for Joe and what he needs to do moving forward to improve his life, including how to find a good therapist. 
January 28, 2016
On this episode of Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie help Joe develop more empathy for the women he is seeing, explain to him why Tinder is not the best place for to spend his time finding dates, and give him examples of how to test and execute good ideas at his job.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.     
January 21, 2016
This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie talk with Joe about his health, why his energy is so low and what to do to get better. They also talk about gratitude & gratefulness (Joe doesn't have any) and the first week of his new job. This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.     
January 12, 2016
In this episode, Nils and Charlie talk with Joe about his new job and the improvements he made (with Charlie's help) to his interviews that resulted in job offers. 
January 6, 2016
This week on Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils continue to help Joe on his job hunt and go over five of his recent interviews, including what he did right and wrong and how to make big improvements in talking to potential future employers. They also talk about common interview questions and having good body language. Towards the end of this episode they talk about the end of his last medium term relationship.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.       
December 30, 2015
This is a special holiday episode of Helping Joe. The guys celebrate Festivus, a festival for the rest of us, with the Airing Of Grievances. In this episode, Joe goes through a list of grievances he has with Tucker, Nils, and Charlie over the past year. It's his turn to flip the script on them.  This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order.
December 14, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, everyone is frustrated with Joe’s continued list making and inaction. Joe went on a few interviews but his lack of effort is still woefully inadequate, and Tucker has finally had enough. Charlie & Nils regroup and help Joe get over his irrational thoughts and fears about getting a new job. This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order. This episode was also sponsored by Thrive Market, is a membership-based online shopping club that is making healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. For less than $5 a month, Thrive Market members can buy the best-selling healthy foods and products, always 25-50% off. Go to thrivemarket.com/mate for 1 month free membership + 20% off your first purchase.
December 7, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Tucker and Nils help Joe get less dumb and talk about job interviews he did last week. But before they can go into their critiques and advice on how to interview better, they first wipe out his ideas about sales (which jobs involve sales) and his larger black & white views (provincial ideas) that are wrong. This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order. This episode was also sponsored by Thrive Market, is a membership-based online shopping club that is making healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. For less than $5 a month, Thrive Market members can buy the best-selling healthy foods and products, always 25-50% off. Go to thrivemarket.com/mate for 1 month free membership + 20% off your first purchase.
November 30, 2015
Tucker, Nils, and Charlie spend 2+ hours (Ep. 41 is Part 2) digging into Joe’s emotional issues and work habits. In this part, they show him why making 1,000+ pages of lists is a way to avoid action and how he can end his unproductive habits, go on job interviews (just like dates), find a good job, and live a better life.  This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order.
November 23, 2015
Tucker is back on the podcast this week, and he is angry. He, Charlie, and Nils dig into Joe's emotional issues and work habits. There is a big reason why he doesn't get anything done, and they help him realize that he has this anchor holding him down which he is emotionally attached to. Joe also goes on a date with a girl who has heard the podcast.  This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order. This episode was also sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order. 
November 16, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie continue to help Joe fix his faulty mental models. They talk about miserable people from the Midwest (Joe's from Ohio), pursuing a job that makes you happy, and the book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by their friend Kamal Ravikant.  They also go through another list of companies Joe wants to work for, but he still didn't get this right.  This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order. 
November 9, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils dive back into Joe’s list of companies he thinks that he could work for. He used the Target part of Charlie's Land A Job You Love course to do this. They tell him how to fix his messed up mindset, including how to measure his own economic value to companies that are hiring, so he can get out of his own way and land a great job. They end the episode talking about a new girl that he met at improv. This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.   
November 2, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie talk about Joe's latest speed dating adventure and Charlie hilariously reads Joe's very bro journal entry from that night. Later they review what Joe wrote about his last relationship and how to apply those lessons to his future mating efforts. They also go over his mindset practice and his list of target companies to work at.  This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order. 
October 26, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils put a hold on the career stuff to go back to Joe's dating issues and dig deeper into his messed up mindset and beliefs. They give him advice on changing his mindset and taking control of his thoughts so he doesn't get so down on himself and can live a better life. They also talk about life contentedness, female friendships, takeaways after a relationship ends, and why it's important to write things down.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order. 
October 19, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie go over Joe’s personal website that he made on Strikingly and they dig deeper into his career issues, why he holds on to the memory of old jobs, what skills he wants to be known for and build a career from, and which jobs might be great for him to do. Charlie gives Joe more exercises from his Land A Job You Love course. They also get updates from him on his dating and social activities over the last few weeks. This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order. 
October 12, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils break down Joe’s work history up to now, and not only find the beginnings of his story, but also find out things they never knew about him because he doesn’t talk about them at all. They talk about how to ask for testimonials and LinkedIn reviews, which website is best to use to show off your work and what you’ve done, and how early jobs are important to build upon and shouldn’t be diminished.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order. 
October 5, 2015
Tucker and Charlie begin this episode of Helping Joe by talking with Joe about a college girl he had been dating who suddenly ended the relationship when he was honest with her about his mating goals. They talk about what happened and how to handle a situation like this in the future. After that they dive back into Joe’s career issues where they help him recognize his fantasies and delusions and give him a reality check so he can move forward in his life. Charlie takes a more active role in this by giving Joe some homework from his Land A Job You Love course. This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order.   
September 28, 2015
This week is the first episode in the new direction of the Helping Joe podcast where Tucker, Nils, and Charlie help Joe get his life together by finding and building skills and a career.  In this episode Tucker & Nils map out Joe's end goal and what success looks like for him. They try to figure out what Joe really wants, what he likes to do, and what skills he has right now that he can work with.  Also, they bring up the difference between internal (intellectual) work and external (physical) work and which one Joe should explore work if he wants to be successful. 
September 17, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 23 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about how to put everything in the book together to create a specifc mating plan for your life and then to go take action. When you inevitably screw up or fail, come back to the book, reread the chapters, adjust your plan or actions, and keep going. 
September 16, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 22 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about how to look at sex as a means to an end, not an end in itself. It is just another part, the most intense part, of courtship or mating.  They also go over why penis size isn't as important as you think. Women care about many other traits first, which they explain here.  And because Mate did not include a lot about sex, they point you to the right resources to learn what you need to know about sex.       
September 14, 2015
In this special episode of Helping Joe, Tucker and Charlie talk with Joe about changing the direction of this podcast series. They go over Joe’s recent successes (ex. Joe made a female friend) and his increased emotional health and happiness over the last 6 months. And because he is now dating multiple women, they have to set a new goal for him or fix another important part of his life.
September 10, 2015
In Part 2 of Episode 30, Joe talks about the dates he had last week and updates Tucker and Nils on the three women he has been seeing. They give him advice on how to directly and maturely end a short romantic relationship and why he needs to give the women he is dating more respect as adults that can make their own decisions. 
September 9, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 21 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain what a date actually is, what the most important parts of a first date are, and why the checklist details don't matter that much.    They also go over what makes a great date place, spending money, and displaying your strengths. 
September 8, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 20 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about the #1 question that they get from guys ("How do I talk to girls?" or "What do I say to her?"), and why it's not the most important thing to focus on.  Your traits and proofs (see past episodes) are fundamental to your mating success. Talking to women is just a way to reveal or signal those attractive traits and proofs.  They go over the different levels of communication and how to be a great conversationalist in this episode. 
September 7, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Joe talks about what he thinks are his 5 biggest issues and patterns on this podcast and in his life. Tucker and Nils tell him what the best, most fundamental thing he can do right now to work with all of these at the same time. They also give him new goals to work on each week alongside dating women. 
September 2, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 19 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain why for most guys volunteering is a better activity to meet women than going to bars and clubs. Make your mating life an extension of your social life.  They also go over more ways to meet women that fit your personality. 
September 1, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 18 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain that when you improve your mate value and have more options, you need to develop your mate preferences. Which women do you want? They go over the 3 stages of choice in the human mating world and how men and women have different options and bargaining power at each stage.
August 31, 2015
This week in Part 2 of Episode 29, Joe talks about an interaction he had with two cute girls who wanted to take a picture with him. Tucker & Nils try to figure out why he was afraid and how to get over his fear of women and social anxiety. They also talk about how he doesn't need to be great or even try that hard to meet women and go out on dates. And they end with Joe's fixation on "trying to look cool" and how that screws him up in a lot of ways. 
August 26, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 17 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain what a mating market is and how to adjust your mating market to meet a lot more women. In short, it's the supply & demand of dating.  They go over the different levels of picking a mating market from your country down to your neighborhood and even your job, giving many specific examples. 
August 25, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 16 of The Mate Preview, Tucker & Dr. Miller explain how being romantic is not what you think (you don't need rose petals and candles) and how to pull it off by showing women your interest and intentions the right way.  
August 24, 2015
This week in Part 1 of Episode 29, Joe talks about 3 dates he went on, including the worst date he’s had in Austin and one that started poorly but ended wonderfully. Tucker and Nils talk to Joe about how to save a bad date, give him diet and sleep advice, and continue to dig into his emotional issues and how they relate to his dates. 
August 19, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 15 of The Mate Preview, Tucker and Dr. Miller explain how men evolved to show off to women and what most guys don't understand about how women look at your aesthetics and cleanliness. They then go over the attractive skills you can build and how to invest in good style without getting into awful fads.
August 18, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 14 of The Mate Preview, Tucker and Dr. Miller, explain how women don't care about how much money you have, but they do care about what your financial resources signal about the attractive traits you have. And it's not about what you have. It's how you use it. For example, fun experiences are more attractive to most women than expensive material goods. "Most women would rather have an interesting, fun, kind husband with a middle-class income than a dull, disconnected, workaholic millionaire husband." - Tucker
August 17, 2015
In Part 2, Joe talks about another bedroom issue he had with a different woman. Charlie & Nils tell him what can do to avoid this in the future, the two emotional needs women have as clothes start to come off, and why life is easier and more fulfilling when you see women as good friends first. 
August 13, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain how to learn more about a potential long-term girlfriend (or anyone really). They give many ideas for how to force people to show you who they really are so that you can decide if you want to move forward in that relationship or not. 
August 12, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 13 of The Mate Preview, Tucker and Dr. Miller explain why women in general are more attracted to your prestige in a group than they are to your fame, money, or an alpha male attitude. That is what most guys get wrong about social status. Having good social skills not only makes you more attractive to women, but also introduces you to more women. They also go over short-term and long-term ways to improve your social proof and how to be an introvert but still have good social skills. For more on social proof, listen to our previous podcast episodes.
August 11, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 12 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain that just developing attractive traits is not enough. You must also signal (show, not tell) to women that you have these traits.   They go over signals that are visual (what you look like, what you wear, etc.) and behavioral (your activities, what you say & do, etc.) and how to signal your attractive traits. For more on the signaling theory, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
August 10, 2015
In Part 1, Joe goes on two dates in one night and makes a big mistake in how he set these up. Charlie & Nils give him advice on giving himself the space and time to have better dates and when it’s okay to cancel dates. They also talk about bad advice Joe read from a guy who “hacked” online dating. “Don’t put a ticking clock on things that don’t need one.” – Nils Parker
August 6, 2015
In this Q&A Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain the many possible things going on when men who are not successful with women at all say that they have "high standards" when looking for women to date. What's most likely is that these guys are either very young or afraid to get rejected and fail. 
August 5, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 11 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how women don't want only assholes or just nice guys, but they do want men who are tough and assertive to the world but kind and caring to them; a tender defender.   They go over how to improve and display both agreeable and assertiveness. For more on the tender defender, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
August 4, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 10 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how willpower is the key to being an effective man, which ultimately is what women want (listen to The Mate Preview, Pt. 6: What Women Want) They go over how to build willpower, including the first key mindset that you need to adopt, the 5 steps to setting & accomplishing goals, and the multiple ways to display your willpower to women. For more on the willpower trait, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
August 3, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Joe has a breakthrough with the best date he has ever been on. Charlie & Tucker break down why and how this date went so well. Joe also unknowingly blows off another woman who wanted to have sex with him. Tucker & Charlie share similar funny personal stories. And they end the podcast talking with Joe about how to deal with toxic, judgmental people in his life. 
July 30, 2015
The answer to this question may seem obvious (and part of it is obvious), but Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain the deeper emotional issues going on with this guy, the many problems with his mindset, and ways to avoid this pessimism. 
July 29, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 9 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain the 6 types of intelligence and why women care about them. They also go over a few ways you can improve and display your intelligence to women.  For more on the intelligence trait and how to display your intelligence, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
July 28, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.    In Part 8 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain why women care about your mental health (happiness, openness, and playfulness). It is a way for women to see that you are not a threat and that your brain is effective. They go over what you can do today to become more brain healthy and display that to women.  For more on the mental health trait, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
July 27, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Joe gives updates on the women that he went out with over the last two weeks. Charlie & Tucker give him high level and specific advice on how to avoid social isolation (find a tribe) and where best to spend his money. They also dive deeper into Joe’s emotional issues and tools he can use to solve these problems so he can better connect with women and friends.  This episode is sponsored by Land A Job You Love, a course from our own Charlie Hoehn.  
July 23, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how there is no checklist of skills that a real man should have. In general, women care much more about your personality traits and behaviors than any specific skill. 
July 22, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 7, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils go over why your health is so important to women and why it's not just about looking good. If you have a good body and are in shape, it signals you have deeper underlying traits of effectiveness. (Remember, women care about effectiveness in men, see The Mate Preview, Pt.6) They also explain how you don't need to be a bodybuilder or an athlete. In fact, you don't need even need to work out that much. They tell you empirically what most women are actually attracted to in terms of body shape and the most effectives things you can do today to become more healthy. For more on the physical health trait, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
July 21, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 6, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils go over what women want on a deep biological level and why they evolved to want these things in men. Dr. Miller is one of the world's leading experts on female mate choice. To sum up all the research, women evolved to want effective men. For more on understanding what women want, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
July 20, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Charlie Hoehn and Nils Parker give Joe feedback on OkCupid (see the blog notes) and Tinder after Joe gets frustrated with interactions on the dating app. They also dive into his sleep habits and ask him what a perfect day looks like. Joe does not have a specific answer. They explain why this is a big problem in his life and with his mating goals.  “Right now, you have no fucking clue where you are going... You are letting life happen to you and wandering around as a result. This exercise if it does nothing else will give you a destination to point yourself to and work towards.” - Nils Parker This episode is sponsored by Land A Job You Love, a course from our own Charlie Hoehn. 
July 15, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 5, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how to figure out exactly what it is you want so you can direct your mating efforts to honestly getting that with women or a woman who wants the same thing. You not only deserve to ask yourself "What do I want," but you need to. For more on understanding yourself and what you want, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 
July 14, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 4, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils go over the multiple ways women experience the world and dating that are different than how men do, including major female fears, worries, concerns, and thought patterns in mating.  These are not opinions or moralizing lessons but based on the best current research on women's psychology and sex differences.  For more on understanding what it's like to be a woman who dates men, listen to our previous podcast episodes.   
July 13, 2015
This week is our second episode of Helping Joe with four people on the mics (Tucker Max, Charlie Hoehn, Nils Parker, & Joe). This episode picks up where the guys left off in Episode 23. Joe starts by reading his crazy (but hilarious) inner thoughts that he kept track of during the past week. The guys figure out why Joe has these thoughts and emotional reactions by exploring his relationship with his mom. Joe shares stories from his childhood and learns that every one is dealt a different hand of cards at birth and in life. His job here is to figure out what his cards are so that he can live a good life with lots of great women in it. 
July 8, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 3, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils go over confidence, competence, and the sociometer theory. They explain why there are no shortcuts to building true confidence. 
July 7, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker Max and Nils Parker explain how to understand women and why they put guys in the friend zone so you don't get stuck there in the first place or can get out of it. Also, it's okay to just be friends with attractive women. 
July 6, 2015
In this special episode of Helping Joe, everybody (Tucker, Charlie, Nils, & Joe) is in the same room to talk about Joe’s progress and problems over the last few weeks. They talk about how women test men to get honest signals, what building real confidence looks like, and how to interpret some dreams. They also dive deeper into Joe's trust issues and perfectionist tendencies and how to get over them so he can be more attractive to women. 
July 2, 2015
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 2, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how Mate is different and talk about the five fundamental principles that need to govern all your mating decisions. 
July 1, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker and Nils explain how it's best to take this problem head-on, be honest about it, make a joke (they give some ideas), and be clear there that you are heterosexual.
June 30, 2015
Don't date women that lie to you! In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils talk about what this caller's deeper issues are and why he put up with a bad girlfriend for so long. 
June 29, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Tucker break down Joe's recent first date and why it was awkward for him. They go deeper into why Joe doesn't like playful teasing and can't bond with male friends. Joe and Charlie open up with stories about past awful experiences where they were attacked (not teased) by their friends. Tucker gives Joe 2 key takeaways to recognize his ineffective thought patterns and behaviors. Joe also gives an update on a talk he had with the girl he is dating.
June 25, 2015
This episode is the beginning of a preview of our upcoming book, Mate: Become The Man Women Want. In this series, we go over each chapter in the book, explaining what's in it and what to expect.  In the first part of this series, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how this book came about, why they decided to write it, and why men need to read it. 
June 24, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how being a minimalist or financially independent and spending money on experiences are attractive to women but being cheap is NOT attractive. What matters is being generous with what you do have, which doesn't just have to be money or possessions. 
June 23, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how most men misunderstand vulnerability, why your emotional needs as a man are valid ("We're not just walking penises."), and why women actually love emotionally open (but not emotionally unstable) men. They also give small steps you can take to start practicing vulnerability in your everyday life.  For more on vulnerability, start by reading Daring Greatly by Dr. Brene Brown, the best book out there on the empirical research. And go listen to the Helping Joe series where Joe is vulnerable in a non-needy way about problems in his life that many men have but few ever talk. 
June 22, 2015
This week on Helping Joe, Tucker and Nils call Joe out on his bull***t and question what his mating goals really are when his actions and priorities do not line up with what he says he wants. They go on to explain how to have a relationship talk, why people self-sabotage, and why it’s difficult to actually do the work and change to have the life you want and the women you want.
June 18, 2015
If you date the same type of crazy woman over and over again, the problem is not them, it's you. In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how to recognize crazy or bipolar women and avoid them. They also talk about why this caller has a pattern of beign attracted to them and if therapy is needed.
June 17, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain why high school, ages 15-18, are the worst years for men and dealing with women. It's important to keep this in perspective: it's normal to feel frustrated and your best years are ahead of you. We cover this in more in depth in our What Men Need To Know episode. 
June 16, 2015
In this Q&A Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Nils Parker poke fun at a caller who is looking for a way to absolve himself of his absurd narcissism and ridiculous lack of self-awareness. The words he uses signal problems in his mating life that start with him. They explain where and how to start fixing them (similar to our other narcissism Q&A). On a more serious note, they answer his question of how to balance competing factors (ex. looks, intelligence, personality, etc.) when seeking a longterm mate.
June 15, 2015
In this week of Helping Joe, Tucker and Charlie talk about Joe's awful room. They dig into why he was sleeping in a closet, how his favela of a room is a reflection of how he thinks about himself, and why this is so unattractive to women. They go on to talk about having basic self-respect, why men have trouble connecting with their emotions, and how society doesn’t teach men how to express their emotions and discourages them doing so. Tucker also tells a funny story about how the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy dudes tried to makeover James Gandolfini.  *The woman in the opening clip is Charlie’s girlfriend’s reaction when she went over to Joe’s place to evaluate his room and help him improve it. 
June 11, 2015
In this episode of Bad Advice, Tucker explains how repeated failure, getting rejected over and over again, actually destroys your confidence. This is absolutely NOT how confidence works. You build true confidence only through success and demonstrated performance. We have talked over and over again about the research on confidence and how this works on past episodes. 
June 10, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils strongly advise that this caller break up with his girlfriend if he already has not because there are so many red flags in his call. Her behavior is not normal girlfriend behavior. They also explain how to set normal boundaries with a girlfiriend in a relationship, including ways to bring this up and talk about it. 
June 9, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Dr. Perilloux explain the benefits of dealing with a low-level health problem and why women would be attracted to a guy who overcame that problem and changed his life for the better.  They've said this in past episodes: Having a serious disability can be an advantage in mating if you get everything else right and are honest about it upfront. You can become an effective hero or resilient survivor which are very attractive.
June 8, 2015
On this episode of Helping Joe, Joe talks about his funny improv show and dives deeper into why he has trouble taking genuine compliments from others. He gives the guys updates on the girl he likes from improv (It didn't go well) and the girl he has been dating and having sex with (This was better). Charlie Hoehn and Tucker Max give Joe advice on how to recover and get a girl interested in you again, how to last longer in bed, and how to have the medium-term / casual relationship talk. 
June 4, 2015
This week on Helping Joe we split a longer episode into two parts. In Part 2, Tucker and Charlie talk to Joe about how humiliating rejections from women can get stored in the brain as war trauma. They repeat Joe’s Two Rules for going out and the right way to tease girls to have fun. Joe gives an update with the girl from improv (see Episode 17), and he plays an awful audio message that he left her. Tucker also talks about how Joe can get over situations Joe he is afraid of. 
June 3, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how every guy at some point in this life has had trouble with premature ejaculation. It is nothing to be ashamed about because all men have been through this, especially at younger ages. They also give many techniques and exercises to avoid coming too quickly and have better sex. Dr. Miller recommends She Comes First. 
June 2, 2015
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explain why this is the wrong question to ask and give a better question (“What are my goals?”) to ask yourself so you can figure out where you want to go and what obstacles are in your way. Tucker gives an example from his own life about how he achieved his mating goal through psychotherapy, and Dr. Miller talks about how to reach out to your family for help uncovering your emotional blind spots. They also share advice on finding a good therapist if you really need therapy. 
June 1, 2015
This week on Helping Joe we split this long episode into two parts. In Part 1, Joe talks about updates from past dates, Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn comment on his progress since beginning the podcast, and they dig deeper into his sex shame issues. Joe finally has sex but comes too quick (premature ejaculation), which is the opposite physical problem of his previous issue with getting hard. Tucker explains how this is even possible and gives Joe a few short-term fixes to help with this, including how to find out what she likes in bed. They also talk about one big difference between guys who improve and get better with women and those who don't. 
May 28, 2015
There are no do-overs in life. In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how this older caller needs to be honest with himself about who he is and where he is in his life to still attract and date great women. Lowering standards a bit and expanding criteria for a mate can greatly increase your dating pool. What matters is finding happiness with someone you are suited for, not someone you wish you had found when you were 28. They also explain where and how to meet women that are a better fit for an older guy. And see our past podcast episode on what older men should do to attract younger women. 
May 27, 2015
In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils list cities that are great mating markets for men and explain how a mating market is much more than just a city's male:female ratio. It depends on many other factors like your mating goal, your interests, what type of woman you are looking for, her interests, and more. 
May 26, 2015
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Dr. Carin Perilloux talk about how it’s unusual to be best friends with an ex and that future girlfriends will be worried about this. It’s best to be upfront with why you are friends because the research says most men want to have sex with their female friends. They explain how to move forward with a new relationship while still being friends with an ex and how to talk about this with your next girlfriend. 
May 25, 2015
In this week of Helping Joe, Joe continues to have the same ED issues and performance anxiety that he talked about in Episode 16. Nils Parker and Charlie Hoehn help him figure out what he can do to get hard again, how to talk to the girl he is having sex with about these problems, and why to work on enjoying sex together instead of just struggling by himself. They also talk about another awful shirt Joe wore (pics on the blog below), an update with a girl from his improv class, why sleep is so important, and how to get better sleep. 
May 21, 2015
In this episode of Bad Advice, Tucker Max explains how "just believe in yourself" is toxic advice that encourages delusional self-confidence, which doesn’t work for 90% of guys. It makes them feel worse because they can’t just believe in themselves. The empirical evidence shows that is not how confidence works.  Confidence comes from preparation, practice, and action (doing things). Start small with simple tasks, low stakes. We talked about this in our social anxiety episode. This is also how athletes build foundational skills and get better at their sport.    
May 20, 2015
First, it's important to mention that nearly all guys watch porn. In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain why men are into so many different types of porn (US map of top genres by state) and the many reasons why watching porn is good, from emotional self-improvement to decreasing crime. This caller may be using porn as a way to heal the trauma of a bad breakup. Tucker also tells a story about Dr. Miller's funny Amazon recommendations. 
May 19, 2015
  When you see a pattern in your life (something happens to you over and over again) it’s likely your fault, not that of those around you. In this Q&A, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Dr. Carin Perilloux lay out many possible issues in your life that could be causing a pattern of women getting to know you and then prematurely breaking up with you. And some women make big dating decisions based on small things that most men don’t even notice.
May 18, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Joe goes on two great dates with the girl he met from Tinder (see Episode 14), and he follows Tucker’s advice by going back to her place because his has no furniture. However, things quickly go downhill when Joe has problems in the bedroom. Tucker and Nils talk him through what happened, why he has shame around sex, and what to do going forward to fix these issues. They also share sad but funny stories of their own experiences with these problems. 
May 14, 2015
This is an odd call because it’s a classic problem that women usually have. In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explain how this is a normal issue because both the caller and the girl he is sleeping with are young, inexperienced, and exploring. She just might not want to date him. They talk about how to figure this out and what to do if that’s the case. 
May 13, 2015
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explain how your family can impact a woman’s judgement of you and your mate value, but it’s not a major factor that women evaluate you on. If your family doesn’t accept you, it’s usually due to a family mistake or general toxicity and not your fault. Tucker came from an awful family but was still able to marry a fantastic woman. They talk about when and how to tell your girlfriend about these issues so she doesn't assume the worst. And remember, she's on your side.
May 12, 2015
In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Dr. Carin Perilloux explain how genuinely connecting and NOT thinking about women as objects or thinking about sex as a separate thing or on a different level will actually lead to more sex with women. There are no right words or moves that work every time, but there are signs to look for if a woman is into you and wants to move foreward. For a good example of this, see Helping Joe, Episode 14 @ minute 55:00. 
May 11, 2015
In this week of Helping Joe, Charlie and Tucker talk to Joe about his second go at speed dating. This time Charlie went with him and some strange and hilarious things happened leading up to and during the event. Joe showed major improvements in confidence by owning his oddness, but his fashion choices are still atrocious. They dig into why this idea of trying to impress women by what you wear is ineffective for most guys and what you should focus on instead to make a good first impression and attract great women. 
May 7, 2015
In this episode of Bad Advice From The Internet, Tucker Max explains how sleeping with a lot of women to get good sexually is the opposite of the truth. Having sex with different women is great, but if you want to get better in bed it's much easier to do that by connecting with one woman and having sex with her over and over. The way you get good at any skill is by practicing and getting good at the skill of sex is about being comfortable and getting reps. That practice with one will help with all because women are more alike than different.
May 6, 2015
    In this special Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have fun with a narcissistic caller who is upset that he isn’t dating women who he thinks are on his level. This is a case study of problems that come with being over-confident or arrogant. They give a funny reality check and explain why women are better at evaluating your mate value than you are, how high quality women can be very picky, and why it’s important to be honest with her about what you want. If  you have these problems with narcissism and overconfidence, see our past podcast episodes.
May 5, 2015
This simple answer is to just be honest and tell her because it is NOT a red flag to never have had a serious girlfriend at 25. In this Q&A, Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explain why this is not a big deal and how to be honest and tell her this effectively, including conversation scripts if you are totally lost. Also see past podcasts we’ve done on big changes in mate value former fat guy, Impostor Syndrome, and what to do if you have little experience.
May 4, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Tucker, Charlie, and Nils help Joe figure out what to do after he blows it with another great girl. They explain how to improve his texting and communication to avoid this problem in the future. And while Joe continues to cripple himself by not opening up, he made big improvements by being a little bit vulnerable and connecting with a cute, smart girl he met on Tinder. They explain what Joe did right and why this was a fantastic date. 
April 30, 2015
In this episode of Bad Advice, Tucker explains how being unavailable, distant, or hard to get to signal that you are high status or high mate value is in general a terrible way to attract women. It works for a certain small % of women, but is a huge turn off to most.  This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
April 29, 2015
If a guy with cerebral palsy is going out and dating women, you have no excuse to not get out there yourself. In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Dr. Geoffrey Miller give many pieces of advice for meeting and dating fit, athletic women if you have a physical disability. One important point to think about is that overcoming a disability is a huge positive signal of effectiveness to women.  This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
April 28, 2015
We’ve done past episodes on mating markets in the past. This caller is from Charlotte, and in this Q&A episode Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller dive into why Charlotte is a tough mating market for men. They explain how census data can be misleading (ex. Chicago), what Operational Sex Ratio is and why it matters, and how to test the market to see if the problem is you or your mating market.   This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
April 27, 2015
In this episode of Helping Joe, Joe finishes Level 1 of improv but has insecurities about moving on to Level 2 with his class. Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn help him put his progress in perspective and convince him to keep going. They refer back to how meditation and journaling can change ineffective thought patterns and explain how with more demonstrated performance, real evidence of increasing success, Joe will build real confidence in his social life and with women. They also dive a little deeper into Joe’s personal history, friendships, and why he has no female friends.  This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
April 23, 2015
In this episode of Bad Advice From The Internet, Tucker breaks down the idea of "peacocking" or "dressing like you're somebody" and related ideas about male fashion and style. Very few women decide to date or sleep with you based on what you are wearing. If you dress in a way that isn’t who you are to attract women, you are sending dishonest signals (lying). Women will inevitably figure out who you are (from of everything else about you) and lose any good first impression they had of you.  Your first goal is to not exclude yourself through your clothes. This is why Tucker and Nils got so mad at Joe in Episode 9. Being plain is okay if you have other things going for you. Figure out your strengths and what you’ve got going for you, develop those strengths, and display or compete on those strong traits to genuinely attract women. You are better off being who you really are and going to places where people will value you for who you are. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
April 22, 2015
This is a great question for Tucker to answer because he has been through this exact issue multiple times in his life. In this Q&A episode, he, Dr. Miller, and Nils, explain how if you are still dating someone because you think you should, that’s a bad sign. Be honest with yourself about what you want in life and in a woman. If you’re not ready for a long-term relationship, the perfect woman is still wrong for you.  This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
April 21, 2015
This is a bullshit question that we get a lot from guys: “Is it okay for me to feel [insert any desire or subjective emotion]?”  In this Q&A, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Nils Parker talk about how whatever you feel and want is cool. Your emotions, what you are feeling, are always valid. If your girlfriend changes, you are not obligated to be attracted to her and those changes. In this case, his girlfriend is trying to shame him into ignoring what he feels. This is ridiculous for many reasons that the guys explain in detail here. This episode is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.  
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