In this episode of "This Complex Life," I speak with Dr Lucy, We delve into the profound relationship between our mindset, eating habits, and overall well-being. Dr. Lucy, a dedicated medical practitioner and co-founder of Real Life Medicine, sheds light on the importance of understanding the psychology behind our eating patterns and moving beyond diet-centric approaches to foster a life filled with joy, energy, and health.Whether you're struggling with diet culture, seeking sustainable health solutions, or curious about the psychological aspects of eating, this conversation might be just what you needThemes:The Psychology of Eating: Exploring the impact of mindset on our eating habits and how societal pressures and diet culture contribute to our food choices.Beyond Dieting: A discussion on why focusing solely on weight loss is not the answer and how Real Life Medicine approaches health and well-being.Empowerment Through Knowledge: Understanding the role of processed foods, stress, and emotional well-being in our health journey.Key Takeaways:Mindset Matters: Our psychological state plays a significant role in our eating habits, influencing both our food choices and our relationship with food.The Fallacy of Diet Culture: Dr. Lucy highlights the limitations of dieting and the importance of focusing on overall health rather than just weight loss.Navigating Stress and Emotions: The conversation uncovers practical strategies for managing stress and emotional triggers that affect our eating patterns.Featured Quotes:"When you understand why you eat, that's the biggest piece of the puzzle." – Dr. Lucy"Processed food steals the joy of real food." – Dr. Lucy"Eating is not a team sport; it's an individual pursuit." – Dr. LucyAbout your guestDr Lucy is passionate about health. She helps women who have tried every diet under the sun optimise their health and achieve long lasting weight loss by improving metabolism and managing mindset so they can reduce the effects of chronic disease, have more energy and confidence and stop living life on the sidelines.She was an “expert dieter” and an “expert emotional eater”. She developed obesity, fatty liver and pre-diabetes. As a medical doctor, this was mortifying.  She has completely abandoned traditional dieting and embraces a real food lifestyle.Dr Lucy is a medical doctor, a lifestyle medicine physician, and is trained in many facets of psychological medicine including hypnotherapy.She runs online holistic health and weight programs with her colleague Dr Mary Barson. They have now helped thousands of women reclaim their health. They are both very real and relatable and embody their company name - Real Life MedicineMentioned Links and Resources:Website https://www.rlmedicine.com/ The 12 week Mind Body Rebalancejoin the  wait listhttps://www.rlmedicine.com/12WMBR Free Ebook Weight Loss is all about Hormoneshttps://www.rlmedicine.com/weightloss-ebookFacebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifemedicineInstagram https://www.instagram.com/real_life_medicine/@real_life_medicineThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here...

In this episode, I address a listener's question on how to support a daughter through the trauma of sexual assault with sensitivity and without adding to her burden. Themes:Responding to Sexual Assault: Understanding the significance of a supportive response and how it can influence a survivor's recovery journey.Practical Tips for Support: I discuss tangible steps and strategies for supporting survivors, emphasising autonomy, safe spaces, and the importance of consent even in familial interactions.Navigating the Healing Process: Insights into the healing journey, acknowledging the uniqueness of each survivor's experience and the importance of patience and personal care in recovery.Key Takeaways:Believe and Support: The paramount importance of believing the survivor and offering unconditional support, understanding, and empathy.Empowering Autonomy: Strategies to empower survivors by offering choices and respecting their autonomy in the healing process.Self-care for Supporters: The necessity for supporters to seek their own support, recognising the impact of secondary trauma and ensuring they are well-equipped to provide sustained assistance.Featured Quotes:"Your support is crucial, and you can support them by believing them, being a good listener, and never blaming them." – Marie Vakakis"Approach with care and allow as much autonomy and choice as you can." – Marie Vakakis"Listen actively and with empathy, allowing her to express thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment." – Marie VakakisMentioned Links and Resources:1-800-RESPECT: A national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service for Australians.https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/mandatory-reporting-child-abuse-and-neglecthttps://fullstop.org.au/get-help/our-servicesThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today’s episode, I dive deep into the heart of self-growth and relationships with the return of esteemed guest, Dr. Jenny Brown. Join us as we explore her work on emotional maturity, based on her book, "Growing Yourself Up. How to Bring Your Best to All of Life's Relationships"Together, we uncover the nuanced ways our personal development influences and is influenced by our relationships. Dr. Brown shares enlightening insights into achieving autonomy while fostering meaningful connections, grounding her discussion in both personal experiences and Bowen Family Systems Theory. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of self and relationships with grace and wisdom.Themes:Self-Growth and Relationships: We delve into the symbiotic relationship between individual growth and our interactions with others, shedding light on the crucial role of self-awareness.Bowen Family Systems Theory: Dr. Brown demystifies this theory, making it accessible and highlighting its significance across the various stages of adult life.Navigating Autonomy and Connection: A closer look at finding balance between independence and relational ties, and the continuous journey towards maturity.Key Takeaways:The Journey of Self-Reflection: Understanding our impact within relationships is key to our personal and relational growth.Lifelong Maturity: Dr. Brown reminds us that maturity is not a destination but a journey, offering growth opportunities at every life stage.Strategies for Family Dynamics: Practical advice on maintaining one’s self in the midst of family pressures, particularly during festive seasons.Mentioned Links and Resources:Growing Yourself Up by Dr. Jenny Brown – A key resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationships through the lens of family systems theory.Past interview with Dr Jenny Brown - Episode 78 https://marievakakis.com.au/building-stronger-parent-child-relationships-a-conversation-with-jenny-brown/ About your guest Jenny BrownDr Jenny Brown has been working in the field of child and family mental health and family therapy since the 1980’s. She has been a trainer and supervisor in the field in Australia and internationally for over 20 years. Jenny is Emeritus Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney, which she co-founded in 2004. She currently directs the Family Systems Practice and the Parent Hope Project (manualized interventions in child mental health). She is a clinical member and supervisor for the Australian Association of Family Therapy and, in 2018, received the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy award for distinguished contribution to family therapy in Australia. In 2022 she received the annual research award from Bowen Centre for the Study of the Family in Washington DC.Connect with Jennyparenthopeproject.com.au; thefsi.com.auThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, the tables have turned as Jodi Green interviews me, discussing some of the differences between coaching and therapy.Key Insights:Coaching vs. Therapy: We discuss the distinctions between coaching and therapy in supporting folk with ADHD. We explore the differences and similaritiesImpact on Relationships: Addressing the ripple effects of ADHD on personal connections. From executive functioning challenges to time blindness and rejection sensitivity, we explore how these factors can influence the dynamics of relationships.Trial and Error in Therapy: Embracing the journey of self-discovery and experimentation. Highlighting the importance of building trust, recognising individual needs, and fostering a supportive environment for clients to voice their preferences.About your guestJodi Green''I believe in people with ADHD. I am here to be your coach and cheerleader as you find the sweet spot in your life, with ADHD in the mix. I am a certified ADHD Life Coach, and over the last 6 years I've helped hundreds of people living with ADHD. Personal and professional experience mean I know it's not easy, but I think I've figured out the perfect mix of support and coaching (IMHO!). If you are willing to believe in yourself, and want a partner to walk with you along the weekly ups and downs towards your goals, I'm your girl.''https://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/Connect with Marie The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk with Jodi Green, an ADHD coach about ADHD, the impact it can have on relationships and strategies for managing it.Key Takeaways:Jodi Green emphasises that ADHD coaching is not about forcing someone into doing hard things; it's more about making tasks achievable and finding strategies to make them more interesting or easier.Tipping points in life, such as transitions from high school to university or entering the workforce, can trigger a need for new strategies to cope with changing structures.Many women get diagnosed later in life, often due to shifting structures like motherhood, we discuss the importance of being open to exploring how tasks can be made more manageable.ADHD affects executive functions, such as planning, organising, and time management, which can lead to various challenges in daily life. These challenges are unique to each individual with ADHD.The impact of undiagnosed ADHD can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, and internalised negative beliefs. Diagnosis can provide clarity and understanding, allowing individuals to reframe their experiences.Rejection sensitivity is common in people with ADHD, and it can affect relationships. Understanding that emotional reactions are often related to ADHD symptoms can help partners provide support and empathy.Effective communication in relationships involves recognising the root causes of behaviours related to ADHD. It's important to avoid the parent-child dynamic and instead focus on collaborative problem-solving.ADHD can lead to hyperfixation on certain tasks or interests. While some tasks may be less enjoyable, Jodi suggests finding ways to make them more engaging or outsourcing them.Jodi recommends that adults who suspect they have ADHD seek a diagnosis through a psychologist or psychiatrist. Don't hesitate to seek a second opinion.The transition from high school to college or the workforce can be a tipping point for individuals with ADHD, as structures change, and new challenges emerge.Coaching can be a valuable resource for adults with ADHD, helping them identify strategies and solutions tailored to their unique challenges.In seeking a coach, it's essential to look for professionals who have received specific ADHD coaching training and, if possible, are members of the International Coach Federation (ICF) to ensure ethical standards.Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ Connect with Jodihttps://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/

Join me as we explore this common challenge and discover strategies to build better communication.Key Takeaways:Teens want to feel heard, validated, and empathised with. Avoid offering unsolicited advice, as it can disconnect you from your teen. Instead, acknowledge their struggles, give them space, and ask for permission before sharing your advice.Chores and responsibilities can strain the parent-teen relationship. Balance out your interactions by acknowledging and appreciating their efforts. Show that you notice their good qualities and hard work, not just their shortcomings.Understand that teens' brains process information differently. They prioritise novel and external stimuli, so it's not about ignoring you intentionally. connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

 Understanding the Situation:School can be a whirlwind of activity, especially for teenagers. Multiple classes, changing environments, social dynamics—it's a lot to handle.The transition from school to home can be challenging. Teens may need time to decompress and de-stress.When parents bombard them with questions immediately, it can feel overwhelming and irritating.💡 Tips for Better Communication:Give Space: Instead of asking a barrage of questions, greet your teen with a simple "Hey, nice to see you." Let them know it's okay to take time for themselves. Connect later when they're more relaxed.Find Common Ground: If your teen isn't enthusiastic about school, shift the conversation to their interests or hobbies. Ask about friends, sports, or any other topics they're passionate about.Respect Their Routines: Understand that after-school activities, like tutoring or sports, may further drain their energy. Let them decompress on their terms.connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

I speak about some of the unique challenges parents often face as their children transition into their teenage years. This phase can be a time of perceived rejection as teens assert their independence, leaving parents feeling less needed.Key takeaways:Understanding the Transition:Adolescence marks a significant shift from childhood to the teenage years, accompanied by changes in friendship groups and the move to high school.Teens naturally seek independence and autonomy as they explore their identities, often making parents feel rejected or unneeded.Shifting Roles:Parents must recognise the change from a "manager" role to a "consultant." Your position description evolves, but you remain a crucial part of your teen's life.Avoid responding as if you've been "fired" from your role. Instead, consider how you can adapt to this new position as a consultant.Managing Your Reactions:Reflect on how you respond to situations that might feel like rejection. Identify the specific triggers and your emotional reactions, such as sadness, loneliness, or frustration.Avoid projecting your hurt onto your teen. Be aware that your emotions are shaped by your interpretation of their actions.Open and Honest Communication:Use clear, non-judgmental language to express your desire for connection. Instead of passive-aggressive comments, be direct about your wishes.Modelling Accountability:Apologise and take responsibility for your reactions when you react poorly to a situation.Encourage your teen to communicate their feelings without feeling responsible for your emotions.Addressing Hurtful Comments:When your teen makes hurtful comments, such as "I hate you," try to identify the underlying emotion, like disappointment or anger.Address the specific emotion rather than justifying your actions. Show understanding and empathy.Setting Boundaries:Establish healthy boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Clearly communicate what you can and can't do to manage your time and commitments.Teach your teen the importance of setting boundaries by respecting their limits as well.Prioritising Self-Care:Self-care is essential to maintaining your well-being and role-modeling emotional resilience.Demonstrating your ability to handle ups and downs calmly and collectedly can positively impact your teen's emotional development.Remember, it takes a calm brain to calm a brain. By focusing on understanding, empathy, and effective communication, you can navigate the challenges of this phase with your teenager while maintaining a strong and supportive relationship. Connected Teens on sale NOWhttps://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Get the free ebook https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Book your spot nowGrab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

In today's episode, we delve into a complex and deeply human emotion: rejection. It's a feeling that touches all of us at some point or another, and it's something that we all need to navigate.Key Takeaways:Rejection is a normal feeling. It's often closely associated with sadness Rejection can show up following a range of situations from not getting a job to the end of a relationship, and it can be emotionally crushing.Our core beliefs and self-esteem play a pivotal role in how we process and respond to rejection.Rejection can also impact our self-esteem - the two can be closely linkedOur brains don't like ambiguity, so they create stories to fill in the gaps when we face rejection. These stories can perpetuate negative beliefs about ourselves.How we respond to rejection can have a profound impact on our relationships and mental health.We're hardwired for connection, and our brains interpret rejection as physical pain. This explains why rejection can feel so agonizing.Some individuals have heightened sensitivities to rejection, which can stem from early experiences or conditions like ADHD.Rejection can lead to a sense of learned helplessness, which can further damage our self-esteem In part one of this two-part series, we've explored the nuances of rejection and its profound impact on our lives. We've uncovered how our core beliefs, self-esteem, and responses play a role in how we experience rejection. Stay tuned for part two, where we delve into the complexities of rejection in parenting, particularly during the challenging transition from childhood to adolescence.Mentioned in this episode:Book your spot nowGrab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jenny Brown, who has developed a project aimed at supporting parents in navigating the challenges of parenting adolescents.I first came across Jenny in my family therapy studies, and her work has left a lasting impression on me. Her dedication to understanding and helping parents in their journey of raising kids and teenagers has been influential in my own work as a family therapist.Throughout our discussion, we touched upon various aspects of parenting during the adolescent years. Jenny shares her expertise and offers valuable insights and guidance on improving parent-child relationships.Key takeawaysBackground and Project: Jenny Brown discusses how the Parent Hope Project is rooted in her earlier article, "We Don't Need Your Help But Can You Please Fix Our Children?" She emphasises the importance of involving parents in therapy, as the parent-child relationship is a crucial part of the therapeutic process.Communication and Tone: Jenny and I talk about the importance of effective communication between parents and adolescents. We highlight the significance of shifting from a controlling or passive-aggressive tone to one that encourages open dialogue and collaboration.Empathy and Understanding: The conversation emphasises the importance of empathy for parents and young people. Understanding the challenges and mixed messages that adolescents often convey and how parents can navigate some of these difficult conversationsMaking a Project out of Yourself: Jenny advises parents to shift their focus from trying to change their child to making a project out of themselves. This means being aware of their emotional tone, adjusting their communication, and allowing their child space to grow and develop their own identity.About JennyDr Jenny Brown has been working in the field of child and family mental health and family therapy since the 1980’s. She has been a trainer and supervisor in the field in Australia and internationally for over 20 years. Jenny is Emeritus Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney, which she co-founded in 2004. She currently directs the Family Systems Practice and the Parent Hope Project (manualized interventions in child mental health). She is a clinical member and supervisor for the Australian Association of Family Therapy and, in 2018, received the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy award for distinguished contribution to family therapy in Australia. In 2022 she received the annual research award from Bowen Centre for the Study of the Family in Washington DC.parenthopeproject.com.au; thefsi.com.au; https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-1748-6 25% Discounted Code: PROMO25connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Book your spot nowGrab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/