Erin Royer-Asrilant, LA's go-to expert on all things parenting and child development for today’s common challenges, covers way more than just discipline. She dives into topics such as self-esteem, development and health, modern parenting issues and even education. Erin is not just knowledgeable but also relatable, warm, and sometimes even funny.
What do you do with a toddler who throws their cup at mealtimes with such force it explodes milk all over the floor? Erin offers 4 different options for this frustrated mom! Also Erin answers a question about what to do about a toddler who is fully potty trained but deliberately pees on the floor when angry. Lastly Erin talks about her latest and biggest struggle and this one is, in her words, "a doozy!"
What do you do when a toddler is using a very offensive word, especially in public? What about a toddler who was potty trained and has just reverted completely back to not using the potty at all but doesn't want to go back to pullups either? Erin answers these two questions and then also shares her struggle this week with her intense and persistent 10 year-olds brush with a very disappointing experience and how she dealt with it.
What do you do when your toddler stops napping or falling asleep at night when you get rid of the pacifier? Also what do you do with a toddler who wakes every night in the middle of the night and disrupts everyone's sleep? Erin answers both of these parenting questions plus some insights from her own week of parenting in this episode.
Erin answers 3 questions in this episode, the first on how and when you can engage your child in the process of a "no-gift" birthday party, how to deal with tantrums during diaper changes, and do you get your child a smart phone? If so, when? And also, if how do you deal with the pressure of "all my friends are on this app?" or "all my friends have?" when it comes to keeping them safe from apps and other activities around smart phones?
How to turn around stressful morning to make them smoother with an uncooperative toddler? Erin gives some great tips on this and then answers questions about what to be aware of about the differences in raising boys and girls and how to teach kids social graces juxtaposed against the concept of 'stranger danger.'
How do you help a toddler learn better behavior when they throw toys to show their anger? Ignoring has shown improvement but when it could hurt someone, this mom doesn't want to continue to ignore. What responsibilities should a 3 1/2 year be expected to take on? Erin shares a few tasks and how to teach her preschooler about this new expectation, along with a few other tasks she can begin prepping her son to take on in the coming months.
What do you do when a toddler uses biting to show negative emotions when coaching does not seem to be working? Then, Erin answers another question about when do you address/fix a behavior and when do you ignore it, when addressing it often times seems to make it worse?
What do you do when a family member feels compelled to correct your parenting? This episode is full of some great wisdom on common issues such as do you force affection from your kids? How about apologies? All with a complicated background of an adult sibling relationship that is painful and this mom wants some insight as to how to deal with all of it. Erin gets in deeper in adult sibling relationships including her own, and how they can color both how we parent and the filters and beliefs our children can create about sibling relationships.
What do you do when your toddler shows interest and has some success and then is just having more accidents than success on the potty but doesn't want to go back to diapers either? Erin helps a parent assess readiness and gives a plan for addressing this quandary! When your toddler is speech delayed, communication is a struggle. Erin helps a mom with tips for increasing communication even with a speech delay and ways to handle the issues that are coming up due to the barrier.
Parenting can be so all-consuming. How do you balance your own needs and goals with those of your kids? When and how do you work those in? In this episode Erin talks about her own personal goals, how she makes them a priority and why she feels it is an important aspect of parenting to create some balance between supporting her kids' needs and goals and her own.
What do you do when you toddler is overly sensitive to both feelings and physical sensations? Erin answers this mom with the first places to start trouble-shooting before working only on the behavior aspect. What about when your toddler doesn't seem to like the family dog and is consistently mean? How do you help teach that dogs are family and have feelings too?
What do you do when you've followed the steps but your toddler wakes up early and crying every morning? Why are they awake if they are still tired and unhappy? Erin gives some reasons and some tips to fix those early morning grumpy wakeups. Also how do you handle it when someone else's toddler is aggressive with yours? How do you comfort and explain to help your toddler?
What do you do when your child is sneaking things you told him not to take and then when he's caught says he it's an accident? Also, another "upstanding community member" in Erin's community was charged with child molestation and so she addresses this issue. She shares the signs to be aware of and how to make sure you have open communication with your child so you can best protect them from sexual abuse.
How do you travel with an toddler who is anxious about traveling? Even if your toddler is just an antsy traveler (and what toddler isn't?!), this episode has the tips for you! Also how do you help your child if they are having potty accidents at school?
A mom wants to know how to address aggressive play with weapons and play around "killing" with her preschooler without making it more intriguing than it already is! Another mom asks a follow up question for the next step of potty training after her initial answer from Erin got her toddler to stop pooping in his room and fully trained in the bathroom on his small potty!
What do you do when a young toddler is constantly grabbing toys from a sibling? How do you teach sharing at such a young age? Do they even understand any of it? Erin helps a mom navigate this issue she is having with her 20 month old twin girls. Then how do you handle roughhousing that seems to get too rough and the kids keep going back for more?! A common scenario with young kids, Erin helps a mom figure out some boundaries to set around rough play and how rough is too rough.
What do you do when your toddler takes to an ear-piercing scream to share their unhappiness in situations, especially in public? Erin helps a mom with this issue as well as what a parent can do at home, when a child is exhibiting disrespectful behavior to teachers at school.
What do you do with a super early riser? Erin helps this mom parse out and troubleshoot the cause and fix with her toddler who is waking WAY too early! Then she helps a mom whose preschooler is melting down about wearing almost any kind of bulky or uncomfortable clothing even when it's raining and cold out and the weather warrants it!
How do we handle a toddler who just wants to be held but we just can't in that moment? Toddlers obviously don't understand adult responsibilities so how can we respectfully help them to understand this boundary and not melt-down? Erin answers this question which applies to parents of kids of all ages of helping them with their emotions even when they can't understand the "why's" behind our reasons!
Mom wants to know how to help daughter with preschool struggles and another mom is struggling with a troubling and stressful nighttime issue that so far nothing has worked and is looking for some guidance.
What do you do when your 5 year-old is overly needy and also disrespectful, calling mom names? Erin delves deep into this issue like never before getting to some potential root causes of the behavior beyond some simple behavioral changes and boundary setting.
A listener wants to know if it's OK to always pick up a fussy, needy toddler who always wants to be held? Will this responsiveness perpetuate more neediness and get in the way of building independence? Another mom wants to know how to handle a particular attention-seeking behavior in her toddler once and for all that has waxed and waned for over a year.
A triple decker, a hat trick, 3 topics in one episode! First a question about early wake-ups and getting toddler to get enough sleep, a second question about weighing out preschool options & the third from the Asrilant family files about talking to kids about new, particularly about delivering bad news in age appropriate ways.
How do you explain privacy to a curious toddler without shaming? Also when are kids ready to start learning and understanding the basics of business & entrepreneurship? Erin answers these two questions in this week's episode!
One family has been struggling with bed & night-times since the beginning and is looking for a plan to get their 3 year-old into better sleep habits, especially now that they have an infant who needs support at night, the multiple wake-ups from both kids is leaving mom and dad exhausted. Plus a military mom is struggling with single motherhood in addition to her kids struggling and acting out with dad being away at bootcamp.
After the recent tragedy, a heartfelt message arrived from a mom near Christchurch who wants to know how ensure her children grow up with messages of tolerance and embracing diversity. Admittedly, Erin found this to be one of the most important yet hardest questions she has answered to date, due to wanting to do the subject justice, and give a message from the heart without coming across as a lecture and gets very personal. She hopes it brings support and hope to anyone struggling after this or any tragedy like it.
Seeing your child sad when you leave can be a heart-wrenching experience so a dad asked Erin, "When starting a new preschool/daycare program, are there any other options than just dropping off a child and leaving them?" The answer is YES! Listen to this episode to learn another option and ways to minimize separation anxiety as it ebbs and flows throughout the preschool years.
Have you ever wondered if it's OK to play into the fantasy of Santa or other make-believe characters? Erin answers this question along with another question about setting expectations about listening the first time and approaches to make this the norm in your house.
Babies start communicating from day one with cries, squeals and coos and communication skills just explode from there. This episode covers those developmental milestones and some great ways to support language development even from infancy as well as how emotional development is related. Emotional development is the foundation for social skills and is such an important skill to teach so Erin covers some ways to support emotional development too.
Aggression in these toddler years is so common when kids don't have the skills to share frustrations in a more appropriate manner, especially early on when even language skill is so minimal. Erin covers both ends of the toddler spectrum and aggression, giving tip for helping a mom with a 13 month old who can get aggressive when she doesn't get her way and also for the parents of 3, almost 4 year-old, also when he doesn't get his way!
An aunt of a niece with autism asks how she better help her niece when they visit in person and via Skype. Also a military mom with a very active and messy 3 year-old wants to know how towork with her 3 year-old to keep the house a little neater! Erin shares tips and strategies for both of these situations.
While the independence that asserts itself in toddlerhood, seems like an annoyance, you can use it to your advantage! In this episode Erin helps a mom understand the motivations and reasons behind her toddler's defiant behavior and ways to work with the strengths of this developmental stage to increase cooperation. Then Erin gives tips to a mom for working with her 2 year-old who is in a throwing stage!
Erin gets back to basics by covering development and behavior during the toddler years to help parents understand why toddlers sometimes act so unreasonable, along with some tips for prevention. Then she answers a question about a toddler who needs a parent present in order to fall asleep and a stress-free way to wean the toddler off of mom and dad to falling asleep independently!
In this episode Erin covers two new topics, how to help a child who is very shy learn to communicate needs and what to do when a child is coerced sexually by another child. Child on child unwanted touching is very common. How do we talk to our kids about how to handle it if it happens to them? And what do we if it does happen?
Erin is back answering two of our most common parenting questions, getting toddlers (in this case twins!) to settle down for bed and some consequences to use with toddler and preschooler aggression at each age, 2, 3, 4 and 5.
Change is hard. When habits become ingrained it takes consistent effort overcome the old habits and to make new behaviors into our new habits. Erin shares 6 tips for making sure your new goals become part of your everyday life, whether they're about parenting or anything else.
Parenting can be hard, but step-parenting adds a whole other level of concerns and issues and therefore requires a whole level of cooperation and communication, if things are to run as smoothly as possible. Erin helps a step-mom begin to wade through this minefield of parenting encounters! Then in the second half, Erin answers a question about how to help a six year-old who is having consistent after-school meltdowns.
How wild is too wild when it comes to a preschooler? How can you guide your highly active youngster to get out his energy in more appropriate ways? In this episode Erin answers this question for a mom whose 4 year old is driving her crazy with his wild and sometimes aggressive behavior! Then another question about dealing with a toddler who refused to stay in bed, even when using the mantra method. What could be going wrong? Listen to find out!
How do you teach a toddler to be polite to friends, relatives and sitters when they hit a shy stage without pushing and ending in a power struggle? Erin gives tips to this parent on guiding his toddler through this stage. What do you do when your toddler strongly prefers one parent over the other? This can be very painful to the rejected parent and exhausting for the preferred parent. Erin guides these parents in dealing with this issue with their toddler.
What does a child really need to ready for kindergarten? What do you do when the school says your child isn't ready but you don't agree with the assessment? In the second question, Erin covers more tips and tools for dealing with toddler aggression and outbursts, some great first steps to get things turned around, dealing with the aggression and/or outburst in the moment and secondary steps to take to continue the learning process for your process in finding and using better ways to behave.
Potty training happens differently for almost every child. But there are several common themes/issues and one of them is being fully potty trained for pee long before being ready to train for poop. Erin shares information with a mom about why this happens and steps she can take to encourage her son towards this milestone. The second question is from a mom about the best way to handle possessiveness in her 2 year-old. Erin shares why this happens and the ways to work with a toddler throughout this stage. Erin also interviews all 3 of her kids to introduce the audience to her kids that she talks so much about!
How do you help your child learn to recognize and deal with anger in age-appropriate ways? Listen to this episode to learn about things that affect the way children experience and process anger, stages of anger and what to do.
Toddlerhood is the first big push for independence and with that often comes defiance. How do we support independence while also setting healthy boundaries? One mom asks for some guidance on dealing with her toddler's defiance, while another asks about how to deal with her toddlers pinching.
Two of the most common toddlerhood struggles, getting kids to try and enjoy healthy foods and bedtimes, are often not about the foods themselves or bedtimes at all but about POWER! Once kids figure out the holes in the system, they will use it to their full advantage. Learn how to be ready with tips and tools to circumvent these and other common toddlerhood power grabs in this episode!
Potty Training regression can happen for many reasons, one being for attention when a new sibling enters the home. Erin shares with a mom how to work to get her son back on track. Then Erin answers a question from a mom seeking clarification on when encouragement is too much, when to know the difference between encouraging for behavior you want to see and when a behavior should be expected.
Hitting is a common problem in toddlerhood. Toddlers are still learning social skills and brain development that is necessary for self-control. Learn how to coach and teach toddlers better ways of sharing frustrations. Also, how should parents balance setting boundaries and building a strong connection since both are necessary in for raising responsible happy kids?
Erin helps a mom who is struggling with her toddler who seems to be obsessed with cartoons. Erin shares some new secrets about the science of psychology and shaping behavior, some things many parents do that actually backfires and creates more of the behavior they are trying to minimize or eliminate. Then Erin answers a question from a mom about helping her young daughter form more positive friendships.
Step-parenting brings in a whole new set of challenges. How do you setup rules that may be different than the other home without undermining the other parent? Also, sleepovers? Yes or No? If so when, with and with whom? Learn some sobering statistics that may give you a different perspective about sleepovers.
Confidence will get you anywhere! But how can you make sure your kids develop and keep a good serving of confidence? It has to be built and cannot be given! Listen to this episode to learn how to instill confidence in your kids, and just as importantly what NOT to do, things that many well-meaning parents do that can undermine their child's confidence and chip away at their self-esteem.
Potty Training relapse is common and can happen for many reasons. Erin shares how to deal with a potty training relapse when it's due to a complete lack of motivation or interest. Also changes in sleep schedules are common throughout infancy and toddlerhood, be they nighttime, middle of the night or those dreaded early morning wakeups. Erin answers a mom's question about how to get her toddler back on track with better sleep habits.
Parenting has changed immensely in recent decades. With households where both parents are becoming more equally involved in the parenting process, it can create another area for disagreement among parents. Whether parenting in the same household or separate, this episode covers tips for learning how to come together rather than working against each other.
Wondering why little kids are always in other people's faces?! Curious how to teach them about personal space? Erin covers that in this episode along with ways to instill leadership skills by starting the foundation as early as toddlerhood.
How do you answer sex & relationship questions from a precocious toddler? How much do you share? How do you address their curiosity yet keep things age appropriate? Also in this episode, learn how to deal with strong-willed behavior when a child is refusing to go along with the family plans.
Fears are common starting around age 2 and can continue throughout toddlerhood. When a fear of the dark is affecting bedtimes and wearing parents out even more, how do you help your toddler get over the fear and feel safe to fall asleep in his room? Listen to this episode to find out! Also learn some tips to make back to school smooth, including starting preschool.
Some kids come to world the ready to tackle everything and anything and just don't give up, while others will shy away if they don't succeed right away. Learn how to work with a child who struggles with resilience and natural persistence when Erin answers that exact question from a mom in this episode.
If you want to know how to get your toddler to cooperate while out in public, this is the episode for you! Erin covers an easy 4 step process to engaging a toddler to cooperate while in public spaces! Also Erin covers some general parenting guidelines and thoughts based on her observations and experiences as a therapist working with kids as well in her own life with her own children.
First, learn some tips for making the most of summer! Then Erin helps a mom who is struggling with her daughter's aggressive behavior and outburst, with some practical tips for teaching kids how to learn to manage their tough emotions make better choices.
Ways and ideas to connect with older toddlers and kids are plentiful. But what about younger toddlers? (1-2 year olds) How can a parent connect with their kids when they are just learning to walk and talk? Also how does a parent handle it when they see a young toddler (1-2 years old) self-stimulating their genitals? Is this normal behavior?
How can tell the difference between peaceful parenting and permissive parenting? Sometimes parents just want to get through an exchange without a huge power struggle! So if a parent gives in are they then falling into the trap of being too permissive? How can we learn to tell the difference so that we can parent peacefully without becoming a doormat?
In this episode, Erin answers two questions, the first from a mom with a lot of questions about whether or not to continue co-sleeping or work on getting her toddlers to sleep in their own beds and a second question about how to handle the situation when she encounters her young kids engaging in sexual exploration.
In this episode Erin answers a question for a mom who wants to know how to best handle her daughters big imagination. Erin covers the development of imagination, the benefits to imagination and, of course, answers this mom's question about how to best support her daughter's very unique imagination. Then Erin answers another question for a mom who's infant has stopped sleeping through the night when she had been doing so consistently.
In this episode Erin answers a big and nuanced question from a listener who is struggling with where to even start with discipline, self-esteem and helping her kids with their social skills. So Erin shares how to create a framework and a strong foundation for positive discipline, including building kids self-esteem and social skills.
Babies change so much in the first year after birth. Learn about these changes in all the areas of development including developmental milestones, ways to support your infant's development and red flags of which to be aware that may mean an assessment by a specialist is in order.
In this episode Erin answers bedtime/sleep issues from two moms. The first question is about a toddler who has started to scream when he goes to bed at night. The second question is from a mom about how to help her 8 year-old get enough sleep so she isn't such a bear to get up in the morning!
Erin covers two new topics, a common bedtime struggle of how to get a toddler to brush teeth at bedtime who is refusing & ways to deal with a 4 year-old who is resorting to using hateful words when he's angry.
In this episode Erin answers one question from a mom about how to work with her strong-willed daughter on listening and following directions. Erin discusses trouble areas such as homework, chores, and extra-curricular activities, in this case music practice and also gives some general guidelines on working with kids to increase cooperation.
Erin answers questions from two moms, the first about how to help a baby who crying frequently, the second about why her 18 month old started sucking his thumb when he's never done it before and how to stop it without affecting his emotional development.
Erin answers two parenting questions, the first about a 3 year-old who reacts by screaming/screeching where she shares the steps to teaching a toddler to use words instead of reacting. The second question is about how to eliminate whining. Erin discusses ways to prevent whining and then the steps to stop whining when it does occur.
In this episode, Erin answers a mom's question about how to address her toddlers questions about gender and sex, deal with nudity and what's considered normal and healthy. Then Erin talks more about talking to kids about sex as they age, questions to expect and be ready for and where to get more information.
In this episode Erin gives some tips to a mom struggling to keep up with all the responsibilities of working and being a mom to an infant. In the second half she guides a mom on going about working with her child who is awaiting an assessment for autism.
Erin answers 2 more parenting questions, the first about how to deal with aggression in a toddler, the second about working with a 6 year-old showing disrespectful behavior that is out of character for him.
In this episode Erin answers two more questions, first from a mom dealing with a 6 year-old who is frequently grabbing from her sister and wants to know how to handle it, the second from a mom wanting some options and tools for helping her 3 year-old learn to react more appropriately than screaming when he's asked to stop his behavior.
In this episode, Erin tackles a new topic, divorce. How do you support a child through the divorce process? Then Erin answers another question from a step mom wanting help to eliminate tantrums her 8 year old step-son is now throwing on a regular basis.
Erin answers two new parenting questions, the first is a parent really struggling to keep a toddler in his rooms for nap-time. The toddler is even resorting to aggressive behavior to keep from staying in his room to nap. The second question is from a mom wanting to know how to deal with negative behavior in a positive way.
In the first episode of 2018, Erin covers some common parenting resolutions along with tips for achieving them! She also delves a little bit into her own resolutions and why resolutions for self, are still supporting our kids and family too!
In this episode Erin answers a question from a mom who's toddler is having separation anxiety at every drop-off but reports being excited and wanting to go back to school when she comes to pick her up. Another mom wants to know how to deal with grandparents not following her rules and a concern about grandma asking her granddaughter to keep secrets.
In this episode, Erin answer a question from a parent about how to raise kids to reach their full potential. Erin covers 5 different areas to consider when aspiring to raise children to reach their potential, from cooperation and problem-solving, to responsibility, emotional competence and more.
Erin answers two more parenting questions, the first about separation anxiety that has appeared later in toddlerhood. She shares background details about separation anxiety, what it is and why it happens and how to facilitate smoother dropoffs when separation anxiety appears. The second question is about helping babies learn to sleep through the night.
In this episode Erin talks about what to look for in a toy that will make it more engaging in both the short and long term for kids. Erin also covers toys for kids infants through teens in all areas of development: gross and fine motor skills, as well as cognitive development including language.
What do you say when your toddler, preschooler or really child of any age asks you questions about sex and sexuality? What is age-appropriate? How much should they know and when? Erin answers these questions in this episode, along with another question about how to support a toddler in becoming more independent who is not interested in doing things, of which he is capable, on his own.
Erin answers 2 questions from moms, the first about how to tell and how to transition when toddlers are ready to drop naps. The second question is about when and how to encourage sharing. In a particular, this mom has a friend who is constantly concerned and getting involved in their daughters' play sessions to deal with concerns over sharing and wants to know what to do.
In this episode Erin answers questions from 2 moms about how to deal with their children's anger issues. She also helps the second mom who is also struggling with feeling overwhelmed, anxious and depressed so her son's anger issues are just adding more pressure to her already stressful days.
In this episode, Erin covers how to work with younger children, toddlers through early elementary age to build pre-reading, reading, pre-writing, writing, and math and science skills in fun and engaging ways that are also age-appropriate and build a foundation for a life-long enjoyment of learning.
In this episode Erin helps a mom understand how to help her speech-delayed 4 year-old with her severe tantrums. She explains some background of cognitive and language development on the road to managing tantrums better along with tools to work with her child. Next Erin answers a moms question about helping her 5 year-old with her overly-emotional responses to even the smallest of requests.
Erin answers more parenting questions, first a mom asks about how to best eliminate reward charts after she learned from a previous episode that they do work in building internal motivation. The second question is about a lot of different behaviors from a 5 year-old including picky eating and behaviors stemming from anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.
Birth order, both your children’s and your own can affect you and your children’s personalities and how they experience the world. In this fascinating episode, you will learn the common tendencies, pitfalls to avoid, as well as all the variables that affect a child’s tendencies to express the typical patterns of each birth order category.
In this episode Erin helps a mom with tips on supporting her toddler through the common issue of nighttime and bedtime fears of monsters, as well as helping another mom work with her child when he talks about hitting or kicking another child but has no evidence to corroborate. Erin helps this mom know what to say and how to deal with discussing it with her toddler
In this episode, Erin answers more questions, the first about a young toddler who hits, scratches and kicks when he's upset but only with mom. The second questions is about a toddler who has become increasingly picky. Mom had hoped he would outgrow it but it has only continued to get worse.
Erin answers 2 questions in this episode, one from a mom who's kids' play is turning too physical and one tries to annoy the other to get a reaction. The second questions is about how to tell when it's time to have a toddler drop naps.
In this episode, Erin answers two questions, one about dealing with a 2 year old hitting his 3 month old baby sibling and another about a 5 year old who melts down in tears and sadness when mom tries to talk with him about his behavior.
Erin answers 2 questions from parents. First a mom of a timid son is concerned about him becoming a target of bullying and wants to know how she can help him become more assertive. Then Erin answers another mom's question about how to support her 5 year old son who seems to fall apart when things don't go his way and tends to shy away from pushing himself even a little bit to try new things.
Erin shares her deeply personal journey about becoming a parent after a less-than-stellar childhood, her reason for wanting to other parents and families, not just her own and answers a questions from a listener about how much time is enough with our kids, how to allay the guilt we sometimes feel when we think we aren't giving enough
In this episode, Erin answers some parenting questions about helping a 2 year-old deal with anxiety around sharing favorite toys, and ways to help a 6 year-old learn stop aggressive behavior and instead to share emotions appropriately.
Taking responsibility for our actions is an important life skill that leads to success in many areas. But kids don't pick this up by osmosis. Learn about Erin's experience with one of her kids this week around this lesson and how to help your kids learn this very important skill!