Age is just a number. We say it all the time. Do we actually believe it?This week I sit down with Dr. Arnold Gilberg, MD, PhD — a psychiatrist with over 60 years of clinical experience and author of The Myth of Aging. Sixty years. Let that sink in for a second. He has watched mental health care go from something people hid to something people post about. And he has spent just as long studying what actually keeps people vital as they get older, and it is not what most of us assume.We get into what a psychiatrist actually is (and how that's different from a psychologist or a therapist), why the shame around therapy has mostly disappeared since the 1960s but hasn't fully left medicine itself, and why he'd argue we're over-medicating a problem that often needs connection more than a prescription. Then we go somewhere I did not expect, his own path to becoming a rabbi, and what spirituality has taught him about the mind that medicine alone couldn't.If you've ever felt "stuck," or assumed decline was just the deal you signed up for by getting older — this one's for you.Dr. Arnold Gilberg, MD, PhD, is a psychiatrist with more than six decades of clinical experience and the author of The Myth of Aging. Over the course of his career he has treated patients through massive shifts in how our culture understands mental health — from the stigma of the mid-20th century to today's very different, more open landscape. He is also a rabbi, a path that grew out of his clinical work and shapes how he thinks about meaning, purpose, and healing. The Myth of Aging bookWhat We CoverPsychiatry vs. psychology vs. therapy. What a psychiatrist actually does, how that role differs from a psychologist or therapist, and why the lines have blurred (and shifted) as the field has evolved.From shame to normal. How therapy went from something you hid to something you casually mention at dinner — and why stigma still lingers inside the medical community itself, even as it's faded in the culture at large.The culture of medication. Dr. Gilbert doesn't hold back on this one — the over-reliance on medication, what gets missed when a prescription replaces psychotherapy, and why informed consent about side effects matters more than most patients realize.Body and mind are not separate systems. Why physical activity is one of the most underused tools in mental health care, and how movement changes the brain, not just the body.Becoming a rabbi. Dr. Gilbert's own journey into spirituality, and how faith and religion show up as legitimate tools for emotional and mental well-being — not as an alternative to psychiatry, but alongside it.Cultural shifts, real clinical impact. How broader acceptance of diverse sexualities and identities has changed what shows up in the therapy room and how mental health providers practice.Connection is the treatment. Why trust between patient and therapist predicts outcomes more than technique — and what that means for how we should be evaluating "good" therapy.The myth of aging, dismantled. Aging does not have to mean decline. Investment in physical, mental, and social health changes the trajectory — and it's never too late to start.Midlife crisis, reframed. What's actually happening during a midlife crisis, and why it can be the opening for real change instead of just a cliché to laugh off.Mindset changes your biology. The Harvard research on mindset and lifespan — and what it tells us about how much of "aging" is happening in our heads before it happens in our bodies.Getting unstuck. Practical ways to turn a feeling of stagnation into an actual growth opportunity.Community, movement, purpose. The three pillars Dr. Gilbert keeps coming back to for aging well — and why none of them are optional.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Menopause conversations center on women. For good reason.But what about the guy standing next to her?Joe Warner and Rob Kemp wrote Burning Up, Frozen Out — the first real guide to perimenopause written for men. Not about fixing her. About understanding what's happening and showing up anyway.We talk about why men are so in the dark on this. What actually helps versus what just feels helpful. And why this works better as a team sport.In this episode:The stereotypes that make menopause a no-go topic at homeWhy communication breaks down exactly when you need it mostSmall, low-effort ways men can actually support their partnerMen have their own midlife hormonal shifts too — sleep, stress, food, fitnessWhy "support" means listening, not solvingBurning Up, Frozen Out bookWebsiteSubscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Menopause doesn't just happen to a body, it happens to a relationship. In this episode, Traver Boehm joins Dr. Kelly Casperson to talk about what's actually going on hormonally during perimenopause and menopause, and what that means for the partners trying to understand it from the outside.Kelly breaks down the real difference between perimenopause and menopause (hint: most people are using these words wrong), what's happening biologically during the transition, and why the emotional and relational fallout is often just as real as the hot flashes. Then the conversation turns to men — what's shifting for them hormonally during this same midlife window, and how couples can actually talk to each other about all of it instead of quietly drifting apart.This one's for the women in it and the partners trying to show up for them.In this episode:Perimenopause vs. menopause, where one ends and the other beginsWhat hormonal changes are actually doing to mood, sleep, libido, and connectionThe emotional and relational ripple effects of menopause that no one prepares you forHormonal shifts in men during midlife, and why this isn't just a "her" conversationHow to actually talk to your partner about what's changingRebuilding pleasure and intimacy when everything else is in fluxReminder: none of this is individual medical advice, discuss your own plan with your own clinician.https://www.manuncivilized.com/https://www.instagram.com/traverboehmSubscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, Dr. Linda Bosserman shares her expertise on hormone therapy, addressing common misconceptions and highlighting the latest science supporting their safe use in women and men. Tune in to hear practical insights on hormone management, systemic and local applications, and how to advocate for your health.Key Topics Covered:The importance of precise language: specifying hormone types, routes, and dosesThe safety and efficacy of vaginal estrogen in women with breast cancerDebunking myths about hormones causing breast cancer: data from large studiesThe potential of testosterone in improving neurocognition, libido, and overall health in womenThe ongoing fight for FDA approval of female testosterone productsThe role of systemic hormones in preventing cardiovascular diseaseHow to counsel patients on hormone-related recurrence risksThe significance of personalized, evidence-based hormone therapy for optimal agingInsights from Dr. Bosserman's PhD in sex therapy and its relevance to sexual healthThe systemic biases and misinformation perpetuated by media and outdated guidelinesDr. BossermanMenopausal Hormone Therapy after Breast CancerSubscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're closing out the season with something different: a multidisciplinary breakdown of episode six of Heated Rivalry. Not a recap. Not a fan theory session. A real conversation about what the show gets right — and what it gets wrong — about male performance anxiety, queer identity, female arousal physiology, and the stories we tell ourselves about our own bodies.To be clear: this isn't about hockey. It's about what happens when good storytelling accidentally becomes a teaching moment for sexual health.What We CoverPerformance anxiety isn't in your head — it's in your nerves, arteries, and muscles. Erectile function is vascular and neurological before it's psychological. Medication, alcohol, dehydration, stress — all of it shows up in the body before it shows up in the bedroom. We break down why "just relax" is the least useful advice you can give a man who's struggling, and what's actually happening physiologically when performance doesn't match desire.Shane's coming out arc, and why identity evolution isn't linear. The show doesn't hand Shane a clean, tidy arc — and that's the point. We talk about how culture, family history, and internalized norms shape the timeline of coming out, and why real identity work rarely looks like the movie version.Communication is the actual plot device. Underneath the hockey, the drama, the trauma — the show works because the characters eventually say the thing. We talk about why authentic communication is the real special effect in any story about intimacy, on screen or off.Behind the scenes: setting, production choices, small details you'd miss on a first watch — and yes, a detour into tentacle erotica as a case study in how sexual expression keeps evolving in media, and why that's worth understanding rather than dismissing.Key TakeawaysErectile response is biological first, emotional second — treat it that way.Female arousal physiology doesn't disappear at menopause; it changes, and imaging confirms it.Coming out stories are shaped by context, not just courage.Good storytelling about sex requires vulnerability, not perfection.Expanding your sexual literacy — even through fiction — is part of the work.You are not broken. Your body isn't broken. And apparently, neither is prestige TV's ability to sneak real sex ed into a hockey drama.Season two, see you soon.— KellySubscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join us for the season's final two episodes as we explore the emotional depths, relationships, and personal growth of the characters in "Heated Rivalry." This episode delves into vulnerability, identity, and love through intimate conversations and memorable scenes, offering both humor and heartache. We cover:The complexities of coming out and self-acceptance in a tight-knit communityThe influence of trauma and social pressures on sexual identityThe portrayal of relationships, love, and chemistry on screen and in real lifeMedical insights into sexual health, including ED, menopause, and reproductive choicesThe cultural depiction of masculinity, femininity, and societal expectationsIn this episode:Analyzing the pivotal scene where Ilya reveals his inner turmoil about identity and familyThe significance of honesty and vulnerability between Shane and IlyaInsights into how trauma impacts sexual development and relationshipsThe role of humor and playful banter in serious momentsBehind-the-scenes stories from the filming, including location choices and character dynamicsDiscussing medical myths about genitals post-menopause based on MRI studiesConversations about contraception, fertility, and sexual pleasure in both fiction and real lifeExploring the cultural intersections in the characters’ backgrounds, including Russian, Canadian, and American influencesSubscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode 4: Rose and Rosé — The Maturation of MenHeated Rivalry Series | You Are Not BrokenWe're four episodes deep into "Heated Rivalry," and this is the one where the boys finally have to grow up.Episode 4 is a time jump — years compressed into a montage — and it's doing double duty. It's showing us Shane and Ilyia maturing into men who can actually be in a relationship, not just have sex in one. And it's showing us Rose figuring out who she is alongside them. Growth isn't linear for any of these characters, and honestly, that's the whole point.This episode has jokes, it has ginger ale, it has a Jean Paul Gaultier shirt doing more emotional labor than most people's therapists. And underneath all of it, we're talking about what it actually looks like when men — queer or straight — mature into partners instead of performers.In this episode, we cover:🥂 The montage that does the heavy lifting — Years pass in minutes, and the show trusts you to read growth in glances instead of dialogue. We break down what that fast-forward is actually telling us about who these characters are becoming.🥤 Ginger ale as a stand-in for honesty — A small, recurring detail that keeps showing up at exactly the moments authenticity matters. We talk about why the little symbols are doing more work than the big speeches.🪜 Stairs as a metaphor for hiding — Where characters stand, physically, tells you where they stand emotionally. Comfort zones, identity, who's ready to be seen and who isn't yet.🛏️ Lube, and the sex we don't usually see — We get specific about sexual practice and preference, because vague euphemism doesn't teach anybody anything. This is where the show earns its reputation for actually doing the work most media skips.❤️ Gay male intimacy that exists outside the bedroom — Emotional depth, tenderness, and connection depicted as fully as the physical. We talk about why that matters for representation and why it's still rare.👨‍👩‍👧 Family, maturity, and the weight of expectation — What it costs to grow up under the pressure of what your family, your sport, or your culture expects "a man" to look like.🎬 Fashion, music, and cinematography as storytelling — Including a Jean Paul Gaultier shirt that says more about a character's confidence than a page of script could.📱 Real-life echoes — Outed athletes, fan engagement, and how a fictional hockey romance keeps bumping into very real headlines about sexuality in professional sports.Maturity isn't about getting older. It's about getting honest — with yourself, with the people you love, and about the shape your desire actually takes. That's the throughline of this episode, and it's the throughline of everything we do here.You are not broken. Growing into who you actually are — sexually, emotionally, all of it — takes time. This episode is proof it's worth the wait.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You Are Not Broken | Episode 377 Join me, Dr. Rubin and Dr. Winter three episodes deep into "Heated Rivalry" and things are getting complicated. Emotionally. Relationally. And apparently, in real life too — because this episode went completely off-script in the best possible way. Episode 3 of the show gives us more Scott and Kip, more tension, more of the push-pull that makes this story so hard to look away from. And it gave us a lot to say. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Full episode 3 breakdown — Plot, pacing, pivotal moments, and everything we were yelling at the screen about. We get into the emotional undercurrents the show is building and why this episode marks a turning point in how these characters relate to each other ❤️ Scott Hunter and Kip: love, limits, and the architecture of a complicated relationship — What does it look like when two people want each other and also can't quite figure out how to be with each other? We analyze the push-pull, the boundaries being tested, and what the show is trying to say about intimacy under pressure 🧠 Enneagram detour: typing the characters — Yes, we went there. Kip's dad especially warranted a full personality deep-dive. If you've ever wondered why certain relationship dynamics feel so stuck, the Enneagram conversation in this episode will make things click 🎬 Behind the scenes: budget, craft, and the acting choices that land (or don't) — We talk about what the production is clearly doing well, where the constraints show up on screen, and the moments where the actors did something genuinely impressive with the material they were given 🌟 A real Hollywood love story — One of us brought a personal story to this episode that mirrors some of what the show is exploring in ways that are almost too perfect. Love that finds you in unexpected places, at unexpected times, with unexpected people. 🚗 The porn star Uber ride story — We cannot explain this one. You just have to listen. It is real. It happened. It is relevant (sort of). And it is the most chaotic three minutes of content we have ever produced on this podcast. Why episode 3 matters: The first two episodes establish the attraction. Episode 3 is where the show starts asking harder questions — about what people owe each other, about the difference between wanting someone and being able to actually be with them, and about the family dynamics and personal histories that follow us into every relationship we try to build. That's not just good TV. That's the conversation we have in exam rooms, in therapy offices, and at 2am when we can't sleep. "Heated Rivalry" keeps giving us a way in to material that's genuinely difficult to talk about directly — and we're going to keep using it.Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode 2 of "Heated Rivalry" gave us more heat, more emotional complexity, and — honestly — more to dissect than we could cover alone. So this time, I'm joined by three of my favorite urologist colleagues: Dr. Rubin, Dr. Winter, and Dr. Gonzalez. Four urologists, one hockey romance, zero filter. This is the kind of conversation that doesn't happen in medical school, at grand rounds, or really anywhere in organized medicine. Which is exactly why we're having it here. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Safety, trust, and emotional vulnerability in gay relationships — Episode 2 goes deeper into what it actually takes to be intimate when you've spent years hiding who you are. We talk about what the show gets right about the psychological weight of that, and what it looks like clinically when shame is baked into someone's relationship with their own body and desire 📖 "Heated Rivalry" as curated sex education — Fiction is doing what formal sex ed refuses to do: showing people what communication, negotiation, and mutual pleasure actually look like. Four urologists weigh in on what we'd add, what we'd correct, and what we'd assign as required watching 🧠 The psychology of self-acceptance, shame, and queer connection — These characters aren't just physically attracted to each other — they're navigating decades of internalized messaging about who they're allowed to be. We break down what that does to intimacy and how it shows up in real patient conversations 🍑 Anal sex, condom use, and preferences — the actual clinical conversation — What do gay versus heterosexual contexts look like in practice? What does the data say about condom use patterns, and why? What do patients actually need to know that providers almost never tell them? We go there. 👁️ Objectification, authenticity, and the fantasy-versus-reality line in media — Is "Heated Rivalry" showing us something true, or something aspirational? Does it matter? How does idealized media representation shape real people's expectations of their own sex lives and bodies? 🛡️ Consent and communication as clinical skills — Not just ethics — actual skills. What does good sexual communication look like, and how does it translate across orientations? The show models some of this beautifully. We talk about what's transferable. 📱 How media shapes (and misshapes) LGBTQ+ sexual health literacy — The misinformation landscape around queer bodies and sexual health is genuinely harmful. We talk about what gets distorted, what's missing, and how pop culture can either close or widen that gap 🌈 What this show is doing for LGBTQ+ communities — Representation isn't just feel-good. It has measurable effects on shame reduction, help-seeking behavior, and sexual self-concept. We talk about the real-world ripple effects of seeing your experience on screen — done well The conversation you didn't know you needed: Four urologists sitting around breaking down a gay hockey romance sounds like the setup to a joke. But here's what's actually true: most of us received zero clinical training on LGBTQ+ sexual health. Most of our patients — gay, straight, bi, questioning — received zero accurate sex education about anal intimacy, queer relationships, or sexual communication. "Heated Rivalry" is filling a gap that medicine created. We think that's worth talking about seriously, with humor, and without shame.Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode one of Heated Rivalry with the amazing urologists Dr. Winter, Dr. Rubin, Dr. Gonzalez and Dr. Casperson! Episode 375: Heated Rivalry, Hockey, and How Good Sex Ed Actually Looks What happens when a group of urologists and sex medicine experts binge a gay hockey romance and can't stop talking about it? This episode. "Heated Rivalry" isn't just a sports romance — it's one of the most emotionally honest portrayals of gay intimacy, identity, and desire that's made it to mainstream media. And as someone who spends her days helping people understand their bodies, their sexuality, and their relationships? I had a lot of thoughts. So I brought in the experts. In this episode, we're going deep — on the show, on the science, and on everything "Heated Rivalry" gets right that your sex ed class absolutely got wrong. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Representation that actually lands — What the show gets right about gay sex on screen, why it matters for viewers of all orientations, and how seeing yourself reflected in media shapes your sexual self-concept ❤️ The emotional architecture of coming out in sports culture — Identity, secrecy, fear, and what it costs to hide who you are in hypermasculine environments. This isn't just a hockey story. 🤫 Silent communication and nonverbal intimacy — The show does something remarkable with what's not said. We talk about what that reflects about real-life queer intimacy and how couples communicate desire without words 💪 Body image, physicality, and the male gaze (turned inward) — How the show handles the aestheticization of male bodies, and what that does for viewers who've never seen their own body type centered as desirable 🛡️ Consent, power dynamics, and emotional safety in LGBTQ+ relationships — Because good sex requires more than physical compatibility. We break down what the show models and what it could do better 🚿 The practical stuff: anal hygiene, douching, and lubrication — Yes, we're going there. Because nobody else is explaining this clearly, and shame-free, accurate information saves people from unnecessary anxiety and actual injury 📚 "Heated Rivalry" as accidental sex ed — Why fiction sometimes does what textbooks and providers fail to do: make people feel normal, curious, and empowered rather than broken 💬 Your reactions — What listeners and viewers are saying, and how this show is opening conversations that weren't happening before Why this episode matters: If you think this episode is just for gay men or hockey fans, think again. This is an episode about what good intimacy looks like — the negotiation, the vulnerability, the communication, the logistics. These themes live in every relationship, every body, every bedroom. Also: accurate, shame-free education about anal sex has historically been nearly nonexistent in mainstream medicine and sex ed. The result? People making decisions without good information, experiencing pain that's preventable, and feeling like their desires are somehow abnormal. We're fixing that today. Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.