ok...we know that us against them never works, now what? it needs to be us against the problem. but how? what if we could remember that each side has needs that are just as valid as ours? what if we worked on our self awareness, to understand what our core needs + values are? what if we could work together to find creative solutions to meet both parties needs? what if it didn't have to be so hard?

in any relationship, us against them never works. not long term. inside of the #metoo movement, #blacklivesmatter, and an 18 month long global pandemic, i've asked myself over and over again...at what point did humanity forget that us against them never works. it needs to be us against the problem. without curiosity, understanding, empathy, and compassion, do we ever get very far? yes, the suffering is valid! yes, the anger is holy! yes, agreeing on what the problem actually is can be a challenge. and...shaming, blaming, dehumanizing others to find superficial safety and control never works. not long term.

what we believe about someone, about ourselves, directly impacts how we show up in the world. the stories we tell ourselves, the thoughts we believe, it effects our choices and our behavior. what if, once we felt safe and our nervous systems were regulated, we could get curious about those stories? ask ourselves, how do I show up when I believe that thought or that story? what if we started to have a choice, instead of a reaction?

you're struggling with something. you're frustrated, you want to change it, but you don't know how. you've tried a bunch of different ways, and still it persists. it feels like the thing that's holding you back. and then, you come across a course that says they can heal you in 30 days or less! your heart leaps, you hop on their {sales} call, you get so excited about everything they're saying, and then they hit you with a giant price tag. reminding you that you deserve to take care of yourself, and how much you just said it would mean if you healed. you hang up, feeling torn, ashamed, desperate. does this sound familiar? i've got a good ole rant for you here!

I wholeheartedly believe that shame dies when stories are told in safe places. that protective, and painfully false, story that spins in your head, when it lacks a relational home, it can keep you stuck, lost, and suffering. what if you could set the story down? what if not only could it no longer have power over you, but you could let go of the pain inside of the experiences that created it? what if healing didn't have to be so fucking hard?

inside of supporting ourselves and our mental health, we begin to create a toolbox containing a variety of tools. ones to move us forward, ones to keep us going, ones to help us out in crisis. it is an important collection to have at our disposal. and then, what happens when we no longer see these items as tools? what happens when we give our power away to them and they no longer become tools, but instruments of control?

somewhere, someone decided how long it should take to heal from a painful experience in our lives. they decided how that healing should happen and how long it would take. except, how the hell do they know what we need?? and the length of time that pain needs to move through our bodies?? no one else gets to decide for you about your healing journey, no one.

the conversation is starting, the stigma of mental illness is beginning to shift. we say words like anxiety and depression now, more easily. and yet, what does it actually feel like? what does struggling with mental health feel like? what does having a mental illness feel like?

each human and every we come across will have a different perspective of us. some we will make an impact on, positive or negative, some won't even remember us. what if it didn't have to be one or the other, remembered or forgotten, what if we could be both?

there's this idea in society that if you have been working toward a goal, and you achieve it, joy + excitement are the only emotions you're allowed to feel. what if we could allow the entire range of human emotions when our life changes, without judgement, shame or story?