We are back with more (and better) Ally Carter! Renee takes Mary into her love of art heists with Heist Society which is essentially a crossover of Catch that Kid and Ocean's 11. This book follows a group of teen thieves who rack up quite the travel bills as they attempt to steal some art. Highlights of this episode include Haikyuu fanfiction, cockney slang trivia, and a horrible rendition of American Pie. Episode Source Material: Heist Society by Ally Carter

We have a new champion! This week, Mary dethrones Elsewhere as the worst book on the podcast with A Mango Shaped Space by Wendy Mass, a book with no plot, an unlikable protagonist, incorrect science, and a terrible message. Highlights of this episode include trying to remember the quadratic formula, finding out if the Hail Mary is exclusively Catholic, and becoming Goodreads fact-checkers. Episode Source Material: A Mango Shaped Space by Wendy Mass

This week is all about summer vibes and lackluster characters. Renee takes us through Jenny Han's soon to be TV adapted book The Summer I Turned Pretty. The story follows Belly (you read that right) as she navigates the world of teen love, and reminisces on the summers that have shaped her into the girl she now is. She also slut shames her best friend for trying to have a Hot Girl Summer. That's right, Jenny Han invented Hot Girl Summer. Other stand out moments include a stalker boy who is not portrayed as problematic and Mary teaches Renee some shocking news about Justin Timberlake. We finally have a book where the author knows what she's talking about when featuring Latin, but at what cost? Episode Source Material: The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han  

This week, Mary and Renee enter the wild world of bougie New England boarding schools (that might be cults). Reed Brennan escapes her small-town life and abusive household to learn how to gaslight, gatekeep, and girlboss her way to success. Her sights are set on the Billings Girls, the most powerful clique at Easton Academy and the source of Reed’s bi panic. The other half of the panic is her new boyfriend Thomas, the most popular guy at Easton with a classic rich kid angsty background. Strap in for high school drama, a surprising amount of crime, and straight up witchy vibes. Source Material: Private by Kate Brian 

We cover our most infamous author yet when Renee revisits her Mortal Instruments obsession by covering City of Bones. This story about a totally normal girl who gets thrown into the world of demons and demon hunters starts off like someone misremembering Blue Bloods. We dive deep into this long story of decent world building, unrealistic dialogue, and Cassandra Clare's notoriety. Surprisingly no references are made to Nic Cage and no songs are sung, but it's still a fun time. Episode Source Materials: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Sometimes having premarital sex has consequences, like getting pregnant or dying in a fiery motorcycle accident the next day. This is what happens to Halley’s best friend Scarlett (getting pregnant) and her boyfriend Michael (dying in a fiery motorcycle accident) just weeks before the start of their junior year. While Halley’s trying to help Scarlett navigate the weird world of teen motherhood, she starts dating Michael’s best friend Macon, a dangerous bad boy with a mysterious past and serious accountability issues. If you’ve ever wanted to read a Degrassi plot line in novel form, this is the book for you.  Mary wants to warn people that there is a Fullmetal Alchemist spoiler in this episode but Renee thinks that series is old enough for spoilers not to matter. Episode Source Material: Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen

Chimeras huh? This week, Renee goes through the plot of The Angel Experiment, the first book in James Patterson's Maximum Ride series. The book revolves around Max and her 5 friends who are 98% human, 2% bird, and 100% not good protagonists. Few things in this book make sense ranging from how ATMs work to the dumb scientists. Our tangents include Fullmetal Alchemist, My Hero Academia, Legend of Zelda, and Teen Wolf. We leave this episode asking the age old question: why a book? Episode Source Material: The Angel Experiment, James Patterson.

This episode is not for the unprepared. Mary and Renee dive into The City of Ember, and much like Lina and Doon, they end up somewhere unexpected by the end. Join us on a journey into an underground society that still hasn’t figured out fire after 241 years but has functioning greenhouses. Our two child laborers/heroes have to discover the way out of their dying city before food runs out—but they have to contend with a selfish mayor and naive citizens along the way (not to mention solve the mystery that is a candle and decipher the meaning of the word “boat”). It’s a journey that starts with an Attack on Titan OVA, through references to Wayward Pines and Doctor Who, and concludes in fanfiction.  Episode Source Materials: City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau  Exploring by Team Turnip on Fanfiction.net

Renee is tired of lighthearted teen books, so she whips out a weird one for this week. 13 Days to Midnight tells the story of Jacob, a 15 year old who tragically witnesses his dad die and gains the power of invincibility in the process. With his friend Milo and the new manic pixie dream girl Ophelia, he starts finding ways to use this power. Things go terribly wrong. This book that is so obviously written by a man just includes a lot of death, a stupid teen relationship, and Harry Houdini. While discussing this book, Mary has horrible flashbacks to the Netflix adaptation of Death Note. Other shenanigans ensue but Renee can't remember them right now because it's 6 AM as she writes this. Listen to the episode to discover what antics we get up to this week! Episode source material: 13 Days to Midnight by Patrick Carman.

Tenth grade really is just /so/ crazy. Maddie’s facing her driver’s test (and getting used by the Queen Bee), Angela’s going on bad dates (is 2 weeks the paper anniversary?), and Zoe’s discovering religion (while getting groomed by her English teacher).  Mary takes Renee through the whirlwind instant message of Lauren Myracle’s ttyl, although the true miracle was finishing the book at all—it’s filled with horribly outdated slurs, bad takes on predatory relationships, and absolutely no character development. But it does have some funny reviews on Goodreads, and it brings back memories of Mary’s good old days catfishing on instant messenger sites. Episode Source Material: ttyl by Lauren Myracle