There is always a trade off. A sacrifice that we make as individuals in order to get one thing for another thing. This is as simple as trading money for goods or services, and as we become adults it turns into trading our time and energy. As kids our parents typically are making decisions for us about where we spend our time, enrolling us in school, and extra-curriculars in hopes that we will be healthy and happy children. We invest time and energy as children and adults in order to secure some sort of long term payoff. Investments like school, sports, music or the arts. It can become easy to forget that when we make these decisions with our time we are always always giving something up in return.    Subconsciously it can be easy to let our time and energy slip away, unaware of where it is going and what we are giving up in return. The more that we can become aware of the tradeoffs in our life the easier it can be to determine what is important and what is not. Some things absolutely are necessary, but we often wait far too long in order to make a stand on what is important to us often before it is too late.   Think about what is the dream or the absolute north star towards which you are pointed. That could be a career you absolutely adore, could be building an amazing family unit with a partner you love, or that could be traveling around the world, but in any event you have to decide what that is to you, and obviously this can change with time. Now that you have decided what is the most important thing to sacrifice for, put that dream directly up against the things that are stealing your time and energy. Hopefully that gives perspective in regards to the pain that you choose to put yourself through.    

Stagnation is inevitable. We are creatures of habit. Our routines and habits make us who we are for better or for worse. The same route to work, the same streaming shows after dinner, it is just a fact of life that routine brings us comfort. Sometimes that comfort or that routine can be the enemy though that keeps us from moving forward. It lulls us into thinking we are safe and we are secure, regardless of how true that is. Sometimes what it takes to reinvigorate and shake things up is a little bit of rewiring.    Our brains have the capacity to rewire and adapt to the inputs that we give them. Those pathways are recognizing what is happening in real time. The same way it is imperative to change the way we work out to confuse our muscles, the same thing is happening in our brains. We have to work hard to input new and novel experiences to rewire the way we think in order to grow and create new neurological pathways.    Think about the places in your daily life that you feel complacency or stagnation and how you can break up that pattern of life. This doesn’t mean turning everything on its head and abandoning every thing that gives you comfort but it does mean doing something a little bit different. This shock to the system can break us out of our normal habits and wake us up to new possibilities. The challenges that we choose to embark on today are the same ones that we will ultimately abandon later after conquering them.   

“Referees don’t fall in love,” that’s a song that sparked the idea for today’s conversation. This song title got our brains stirring, trying to make sense of what seemed like a seemingly nonsensical sentiment. The title refers to the idea that referees are just that within the game…referees. The ref doesn’t win the game or lose the game, but rather sits by and judges and makes sure that the rules are being abided by. A necessary part of any game, but certainly not what most children dream of becoming. To step onto the court of life it means that you are taking a risk. Taking a risk that you may lose, injure yourself, or embarrass yourself…swing and miss in front of all the onlookers. The upside of getting in the game rather than sitting and judging it is that you also have the opportunity to win.    Getting in the game isn’t a new concept, even for this podcast, but it is one that should be frequently revisited. There is safety in never putting yourself out there. Sure you may not win, but you also will never get hurt. Whether the game for you is relationships, a new and adventurous career move or just trying out a new hobby that you have always wanted to do, there is always a reason worthy of checking out of your own head and into the game.    A life is seldom lived if it is always observed and never acted upon. Within our own lives we can be the referee, upholding the rules, and keeping the peace, or we can get in the game and try and score a few baskets of our own. There will be adversity, you’ll lose some games here and there and it will be awfully hard to suit back up, but the rewards for just playing will be an endless exhibit of what is possible. We all know the importance of putting ourselves out there, and the countless lessons to be learned win or lose, just don’t forget that playing is a lifelong pursuit.  

“The fruits of labor”, feels like the saying has been around forever, an easy reminder of what your reward will be for continued hard work. It’s one thing to think about the accolades, the spoils, or the fruits, it is another entirely different story to put in the labor necessary to receive that fruit, and then sometimes even still it doesn’t always work out how you planned it. The important part of work, especially as we are young and impatient, can always seem like the finish line, the glory at the end, but the joy lies in the labor that fills the majority of the time spent working towards the fruit.    It is easy to become jaded about our daily work, it can seem repetitive, even monotonous at times. We often lose sight of the end goal or the reason why our work today matters to the end goal we are trying to achieve. We live in a world of why’s. Why am I doing this? Why does this matter? Why am I here? Work will consume on average about half of your life, the next time you feel work losing it’s meaning make sure you rethink why today’s work is important to achieving something bigger than oneself.    In the grand scheme of thing there will always be a bigger picture no matter how important the minor details may be. A bad day, here and there as well as the general adversity that comes with a life full of worth is a small piece inside an otherwise beautiful picture. It can be hard to see it now, just like a puzzle when you first start. It just looks like little pieces, some easier to see where they fit than others. Without a general idea of the end result on the box it can be nearly impossible where to start. Imagine what that general big picture idea is and get to fitting those puzzle pieces together…you never know it might just be a picture of a bowl of fruit.  

Time is one resource that is constantly fleeting. We can’t get more of it, and oftentimes when we finally realize how precious it is, we can feel like it’s already too late. In the present without clear and concise direction it can be hard to know if your time is well spent. Especially when we have little to no direction in our life is it very typical to feel like we are wasting our time and it feels like many others feel the same way. Today we discuss what time well spent is and how we can begin to be more cognisant of the time we have and measure how effective it is.    Rigidity within our schedules can seem like a straightforward and simple answer to keeping us on task in regards to our time, however this isn’t always the case. There is value in taking time off, goofing around, and truly figuring out what you enjoy as well. While there are many metrics that society uses to measure how efficiently we are using our time it is hard to know what we truly learned until after the fact. Some of the biggest failures in our lives can become the greatest learning lessons. The biggest wastes of time to others can turn out to be the turning points in our own stories.    The only way that time is truly wasted is when we aren’t growing in one way or another. Approach your experiences with grace and on your own terms, because your experiences are exactly that YOUR experiences and you have unique takeaways from them. Consistently measure if the suffering that you are putting yourself through is teaching you something or if it is just driving you further to burnout. Time is always well spent when you are learning…about something, someone or more importantly about yourself.  

 “Go with the flow” typically a compliment to describe people that are able to roll with the punches. In this specific episode we observe the external and internal factors that contribute to our ability to be easily swayed in one direction or the other. Our friends and family often can be big influences on our lives, that convince us in one way or another what is the right path. The media we consume like social apps, books and podcasts can also convince us of what is the right or wrong thing to do. Then there is the internal battle that exists inside of our mental and emotional states. Am I doing the right thing? Am I studying the right thing? Am I living my life the right way? A lot of times we can feel like we are floating and swaying with the tide, rarely ever staunchly planted in one place or the other.    This swaying can be exhausting mentally and emotionally. With no north star that is able to guide our own personal agency we can feel aimless and even lost. Friends and family aren’t bad or wrong, but they certainly aren’t you! There’s only one life and it is yours first and nobody else’s. Your time, energy and mental space are resources that can’t afford to be swayed every time your friends, family or society tells you otherwise. Most people including ourselves are subject to countless influences in our lives, however it is our responsibility to decide what we value and to take action based on those values.    The safety and camaraderie that comes with doing what everyone else is doing can be incredibly comforting. We are constantly seeking out that comfort first and foremost, but once that is satisfied it is our responsibility and duty to live a life that we are more than proud of. Taking risks outside of the norm, is what makes our lives unique and exciting, truly our own. By knowing what our values and goals are and the correct actions to take in order to achieve said goals can make it easier to not be swayed and pulled in different directions. Plant your values firmly in the ground and that stability will allow you to guide your actions and follow them more closely.  

It can be so easy to put our heads down and follow the path that we and society has laid out for ourselves. Go to school, get good grades and find a stable job to stay comfortable. While that is certainly what we have done, today we discuss the possibility of trying out new and maybe more adventurous experiences in lieu of climbing the corporate ladder. We recount another conversation that Wired magazine founder Kevin Kelly spoke about on the Rich Roll podcast earlier this week. One in which his own experience bouncing back and forth between China in his 20’s gave him a unique and one of a kind outlook on life that became the backbone for his career success later on. Rather than work to be the best in a group of many, Kelly argues it may be more valuable to be the only!    The “only” implies your unique experience, based off of the path that you have forged. This doesn’t always mean going to China back and forth for ten years, it’s totally based on what excites you and makes you curious, but it does mean actually having those unique experiences. Taking the trip, doing the hike, committing to learning a new and emerging technology. By forging a path into somewhere or something that you and most others may not be familiar with you become more of an asset later on. There will be resistance, when you go against the grain, but this is truly a selfish endeavor, one in which you would like to learn more about yourself and other cultures, activities, or technologies.  A lot of times we can fall into the trap of believing that these activities need some perfect timing, or perfect budget, but the truth most of the time is that part is pretty easy. What can truly hold you back is the mindset that others may judge you for doing something different or you are going out of the order of what the majority of others have chosen to do. It’s hard to say whether Kevin’s experiences are the sole reason for his success, but nonetheless his optimistic outlook from adventuring into the unknown brought him an invaluable perspective. The optimists that embrace a new and ever evolving world will be the ones that have the courage to take chances and seize the moments of new frontiers in the future.  

Give yourself some credit. Whether we are going into a year end review, getting ready for a first date, or comparing ourselves against our peers everyone knows the feeling of self doubt. You’re nervous, every insecurity you can think of is making its way to the top of your brain. Am I smart enough? Will this person like me? The list goes on and on and is different for every person, but also very much the same. When we take on a new and exciting but scary endeavor where we feel like we are maybe a little out of our depth we tend to feel like we aren’t enough. Selling ourselves short and discounting all the hard work that we do on a daily basis to get where we are today.    Our insecurities can sometimes come at a cost, and force us so inside of our own heads that we aren’t able to be our true selves. It’s like avoiding a weakness and hoping that your boss doesn’t bring it up instead of just asking for help or working extra to get better at it. That avoidance maneuver is such a common feeling, but so rarely viewed as an opportunity and more as a crutch. As long as we are doing the things within our control like working hard, making good decisions and having the best intentions we have all the right in the world to give ourselves some credit!    Now, those vulnerabilities that we mention that shout in the back of our minds that “we aren’t good enough.” The best thing to do is set out an action plan. The reason you give yourself credit is because you have put in time and effort and that is worthy of a pat on the back. All you have to do is put some extra time and effort into those things you are nervous about. Maybe it’s public speaking, or working with a certain software at work, or even taking better care of ourselves. Just put a little plan in place to work at it and given the time and effort that weakness you dreaded coming to light will now become a source of inspiration allowing you to be more confident than before.  

“When you don’t know what port you’re sailing to, no wind is favorable.” In life things move so fast it can get easy to make life decisions without thinking about them. Maybe not thinking is a little harsh but using determining factors that are outside of your core values. Maybe a certain career path offers money or stability, maybe everyone does this so it seems like what’s right. If you don’t stop and take the time to determine and chart out the direction you want to go in it can be extremely easy to fall into a trap that you didn’t even know you were falling into.    Whether you’re getting out of school, comparing yourself to peers who are getting promotions or getting married it can be hard to stay true to the life plan that you have in mind for yourself. The real question is though, how can you compare yourself to someone that is on a completely different journey than you. Just because you went to the same highschool or grew up somewhere together doesn’t mean you’re destined for the same outcomes.    You have agency in your life, more than anyone else. The ship that is your life if there for you to captain. Now that may take time and effort to understand where it is you want to go, but don’t you at least owe it to yourself to try before you look to the safest option that seemingly everyone else determined was the smart decision as well.  

Off the back of our last week’s episode on decision making we are working on pumping the brakes a little and loosening the grip on life. As we get older, responsibilities become greater and decisions in return can feel much heavier. Am I doing the right thing? Am I with the right person? Am I in the right career? All of these questions are valid and nonetheless big questions that can dictate a large part of our lives, but if these decisions on a daily basis become so heavy we can’t decide at all they can create paralysis in our daily lives.    The most successful athletes are loose in pressure situations, unafraid if the shot goes in or if they strike out. There’s a million shots a player will take in their career and thousands of at bats, unless you are too in your head and too tense when you come to the plate. This can weigh on your mind like a heavy weight and cause you to act completely differently than you normally would if there was no pressure at all. The ability to remain loose and quickly make decisions on the fly, allows us to be our most authentic self. That most authentic self is typically the person that is unafraid of the consequences of our decisions, but understands that regardless they are going to be ok.    This week, practice loosening up and worrying less. Not every decision is life altering and it shouldn’t be. If there is something that is looming, try and consider what would happen if that job was lost or if you had to start all over. Could you do it? Would you be ok? I’m sure you would. Don’t be plagued by worrying, you are flexible and adaptable to the world around you, so don’t get stuck in the one that we create in our own minds.