Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 207 - "Shoulding Series - How to shift your shoulds" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideSometimes we just have too much content. Well, we don't actually think that's a thing and if you tuned in last week you know we did have too much for one episode. Join us this week as we continue our conversation about the impact the word "should" has on our needs (and the needs of others) and begin to learn how to shift our shoulds into something that will actually serve us. In this episode we cover:Identifying where the "should" is coming from (only if you want to)If a "should" causes a rift in a relationshipReplacing the word should and connecting with Personal PowerBeing aware of shoulds close friendsHow we shift language and dismantle the "should"The importance of finishing the sentenceDetermining the consequences of doing or not doing the "should"Shoulds rightful place in apologiesWhy "should not" isn't any betterWhen the "should" is focused on youEpisode References:The first episode in our Shoulding Series - Episode 206 - Shoulding Series - Why shoulding on yourself, or others, negatively impacts your needsThe episode on boundaries and control - Episode Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe relationship orbits episode - Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come The Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter ApproachNotes:Phrases that seem to be one thing but mean another when you add the end of the sentenceA jack of all trades is a master of none, but often times better than a master of oneThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the wombCuriosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it backPodcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 206 - "Shoulding Series - Why shoulding on yourself, or others, negatively impacts your needs" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideWe should on ourselves, we should on others and we let people should on us...it's just shouldy all around. If you haven't guessed, today we're talking about the word "should". Join us on this episode where we're getting into "should", it's impact on our needs and what we can do if we find ourselves in a shouldy situation.In this episode we cover:Shoulding all over ourselvesWhat's the problem with "should"?Removing the perception of choiceIntroducing expectationsThe impact of "should" on our needsHow the needs work allowed Serena to eat chocolate cake without guiltFeeling guilt and shame around "should"The subtext of "should"Figuring out what is really right for us in a situationUniversal social norms and self conditioningWhy people "should" on othersFiguring out what the choice is, so we can make the choice that best meets our needsRe-wording the "should" with yourselfRe-wording the "should" with othersHow to approach beginning to shift our language around "should"Episode References:The episodes about guilt and shame -Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shameEpisode 44 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's shame in disguiseEpisode 45 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanityThe episode about interconnectedness - Episode 202 - What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?The shapes episode about creating - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe dark side of questions episode: Episode 172 - The darker side of questionsThe episodes about shifting our language - Episode 19 - The C-wordEpisode 40 - Let's absolutely lose the absolutes (although not ALWAYS absolutely...)Episode 113 - Are you struggling with things that you 'have to', 'need to' or 'should' do?Episode 143 - Get your But out of herePodcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 205 - "Why needs are like cleaning...and how to get motivated to do both" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideMany people don't enjoy cleaning but do enjoy the benefits from doing so. The same is often true when it comes to meeting our needs. Tune into today's episode to find out just how much needs and cleaning are a like and how acknowledgement can create progress and progress can create acknowledgement. Sounds like a win-win if you ask us.In this episode we cover:When your needs (or cleaning) take a dip and you're in the holeListening to our capacity instead of our brainHow to begin the journey out of the holeWhat can really help the processClaire's house purseThe importance of acknowledging yourselfCompounding benefits of something without having to do moreHelping to create "bonuses" for the people in our livesGetting stuck in the holeHow to begin getting out of the holeRewiring our brainsWhy acknowledgement is like a boulderTaking the first step, and what to know before doing soEpisode References:The just one small thing episode - Episode 174 - Just one small thingThe acknowledgement episode Serena was talking about - Episode 198 - How to acknowledge someone (also check out episode 176 - Why acknowledgment is more important than most people realize)The shapes episodes -The Drama Triangle episodes -The Victim Approach episode - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim ApproachThe Persecutor Approach episode - 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor ApproachThe Rescuer Approach episode - 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer ApproachThe Rescuer Approach harm episode - Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmfulThe Empowerment Dynamic episodes - The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter ApproachThe Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor ApproachThe other "shapes" episodes -Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering oneThe Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies (Shapes 11)Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 204 - "How to navigate your villain era" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIf you joined us last episode, you know we've embraced our villain era and we're back talking about our villainous ways again. This week we're discussing how becoming the best version of yourself in your story can lead you to be the villain in someone else's. Tune in to discover how you can navigate this villain era and possibly help rewrite the storyline so that both people have the opportunity to have the happy ending that serves them best.In this episode we cover:The salad that confuses ClaireBecoming the villain by bettering yourselfWhen you're no longer the person you wereHow linear healing journeys can bring relationships closer together or farther apartOne person's healing can be another person's kryptoniteHealing and removing a trauma bondTrying to convince someone to go on a healing journey they aren't ready or wanting to go onFinding the right professional to support you in your journeyHow Serena's marriage was effected by her own growth and healing journeyWhy you have to really want what is on the other side of a healing/growth journeyHealing isn't one size fits all - why healing the self doesn't necessarily mean healing the relationshipThe threat you pose to others when you are trying to be being a better version of yourselfPlaying out a storyline that is set in stoneChanging the shared storyline and what it takes to do soThe ironic twist some villain stories takeAdmitting and addressing when we're the villain Episode References:The episode where we talk about how to address things when you screw up - The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apologyPodcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 203 - "Why no matter how good you are, you're the villain in someones story" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideHave you ever been made into the villain when you didn't do anything wrong? Been there and wore the cape and mask for that. We're now proudly in our villain era and even wearing our green and purple for the occasion. If you aren't sure what we're talking about tune into today's episode where we are going to discuss what it's like to be villainized when you've actually done nothing wrong, why people villainize others and how to check if you are truly in villain status and doing harm to others or just not meeting someone else's needs for them. In this episode we cover:Why Claire and Serena are ok with being the villain in some people's storyThe role interconnectedness plays in determining a villainThe difference between identity and behaviorInterpreting someones actions through the lens of one's own unmet needsBeing seen as a villain when we were younger vs being seen as one nowDoubling down and creating a super villainVillainizing someone to avoid (potentially) uncomfortable communicationPlacing blame instead of facing accountabilityWhy so many people need a villain to blameWhen setting boundaries gets villainizedImpact over intentionDropping into the Drama TriangleWhy Serena's often considered even more of an asshole nowGetting labeled the assholeBeing made out to be the villain doesn't mean it's valid and why it's OK to have feelings about thisEpisode References:The episode on interconnectedness - Episode 202 - What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?The selfirst episodes -The Selfirst series- Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibilityEpisode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needsThe Shapes Series -The Drama Triangle episodes -The Victim Approach episode - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - The Victim ApproachThe Persecutor Approach episode - 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - The Persecutor ApproachThe Rescuer Approach episode - 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - The Rescuer ApproachThe Rescuer Approach harm episode - Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmfulThe Empowerment Dynamic episodes -The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - The Creator ApproachThe Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - The Supporter ApproachThe Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - The Contributor ApproachThe other "shapes" episodes -Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering oneThe Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of moviesThe episodes on prioritizing short term comfort but creating long term conflict - Episode 188 - What is supportive discomfort?The Boundaries Series - Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?Episode 102 - Boundaries Series: How to know what your boundaries areEpisode 103 - Boundaries Series: How to communicate your boundariesImpact over intention - Episode 41 - Why your intention REALLY doesn’t matter…Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

***Trigger Warning - Abusive relationship dynamicsWell Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 202 - "What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideWell Shit! This is another one of those topics we could have sworn we recorded, because we reference the topic so much, yet here we are. Not only can this information be helpful, it's literally a foundational piece of the needs work. Today we're talking about interconnectedness. Join us as we get into what interconnectedness is, why it is so critical in getting our needs met and how to apply it to your everyday life.In this episode we cover:What is interconnectednessThe Universal Needs EcosystemPlugging the hole(s) in your bucket that you may not even know existsInterconnectedness in the context of selfirstThe difference between negatively impacting needs and not meeting needs that weren't your responsibilityThe return of the inner child and inner teenagerRecognizing toxic dynamics and creating mutually supportive relationshipsThe "sugar rush" of toxic dynamicsUsing interconnectedness as a lens for making decisionsMaking someones job harder because "it's their job" and its impact to your needsThe feeling of interconnectednessThe roles both action and inaction play in interconnectednessCreating and dismantling environments of permissibility and complicitySeparating the artist from the art - the role interconnectedness plays in the entertainment we choose to supportEpisode References:The episode where we talk about The Universal Needs Ecosystem - Episode 36 - Self worth Series: Why it's so hard to feel 'enough'The episode where we talk about a bucket with a hole in the bottom - Episode 108 - Why am I so depleted series: What drains your needsThe selfirst episodes -The Selfirst series- Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibilityEpisode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needsThe episode about the difference in doing harm and not meeting others needs - Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibilityThe episode on your inner child - Episode 183 - How to support your inner childThe episode on your inner teenager - Episode 184 - How to support your inner teenagerThe inner critic episode - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteurThe guilt and shame series -Episode 43 - The difference between guilt and shameEpisode 44 - That's not guilt, it's shame in disguiseEpisode 45 - That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanityNotes:Good Place spoiler - 1:22:09-1:25:51Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 201 - "Why we sometimes hate walking our talk" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideWe pride ourselves on walking our talk however, it doesn't mean we always like to do it. Sometimes doing what we know is right for our needs conflicts with what we really want to do. Tune in to find out how getting pissed can mean we get to walk our talk and make the choice that meets our needs best.In this episode we cover:The annoyance of going from "blissful ignorance" to knowing betterWhy Claire recently hated the thought of walking her talkWhat it means when we're looking for reasons to do or not to do somethingWeighing out the optionsThe importance of acknowledging and processing when something sucksThe most important commitment Claire has madeStaying present with where your needs are currently atHow to support your needs best when making difficult decisionsPodcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 200 - "One of the Universal Needs is CHANGING!" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIt's our 200th episode and we're doing something we have never done before. Join us on today's episode as new content is created live and be the first to hear about the change to one of our Universal Needs. This is such an important change that we are doing in 200 episodes in! So this episode is definitely one to watch...In this episode we cover:How far we've come from Serena's bathroom floorOne of the needs is changing...kindaThe need for both love AND connectionThe two aspects of the need - self and othersThe difference between connection and our communityHow to deepen the fulfillment of needs we already have metWhy real connection isn't always possibleMeeting your needs in the context of the Red-Green SpectrumDifferent ways of creating connection and communityThe difference between relationships of convenience and relationships of effortHow issues in relationships can be opportunities to build trustThe difference between being part of community and in communityTricking ourselves into hollow experiences of communityEpisode References:The origin of Maslow's Hierarchy - Episode 1 - Move over Maslow there are new needs in townThe relationship orbits episode - Episode 154 - What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?The Empowerment Ecosystem episodes -Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachEpisode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter ApproachEpisode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor ApproachEpisode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering oneThe relationship bank episode - Episode 158 - When giving a second chance is a good idea...and when it isn'tThe Selfirst episode - Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 199 - "Do you have an inner Gremlin? Are you feeding it without realizing?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideThe 80's brought us Gremlins, nasty little creatures that multiply and reek havoc, and although we are all grown up, those little buggers have remained but now they live in our heads. Much like the movie, our Gremlins can morph and multiply, reeking havoc in our minds and relationships. Relationships are hard enough without Gremlins running around trying to narrate the story with negative nonsense. Join us on today's episode where we discuss acknowledging our Gremlins and how we can keep them small, quiet and with a little practice, almost nonexistent.In this episode we cover:The difference between our inner critic, inner saboteur and our GremlinThe stories Gremlins spin and the tales they will tellThe relationship between the Gremlin and Niggle MonsterWhat feeds our Gremlin?The unmet need that feeds our Gremlin most oftenFalling down the shame spiralHow to deal with our GremlinCommunicating about your GremlinWhat can happen when name our GremlinCreating the worst case scenario while trying to avoid itEpisode References:The Niggle Monster episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing NigglesInner critic and saboteur episode - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteurGuilt and shame episodes - Guilt and Shame Series: Episode 43 - The difference between guilt and shame; Episode 44 - That's not guilt, it's shame in disguise; Episode 45 - That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanityInner child episode - 183 - How to support your inner childInner teenager episode - 184 - How to support your inner teenagerPodcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 198 - "How to acknowledge someone" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIt's natural to want to be seen, heard and understood by those we are in relationship with however, that is not always the case. We've recently discovered that acknowledgement (and doing so effectively) is not as self explanatory as we once thought. On today's episode we're going to discuss why acknowledgement is important, how to acknowledge in ways that are effective and we'll break down the Acknowledgement Blueprint to find out what steps are needed to make deeper, more effective and meaningful acknowledgements and which will help create deeper and more meaningful connections.In this episode we cover:What is an emojency?Buzz phrases that lead to superficial acknowledgementThe many meanings of "I hear you"The role gremlins can play in acknowledgementChecking boxes, the difference between saying and feelingThe steps of the Acknowledgement BlueprintThe importance of staying present and curiousThe thumbs up emoji and what it means nowDemonstrating that you've actually heard someoneHow to cultivate closer relationships through acknowledgementThe optional steps when acknowledgingWhy Serena referred to us as the Fight Club of personal developmentMoving from an intellectual or verbal acknowledgment to an active and embodied acknowledgmentManaging your unmet needs during this processFocusing on whats important and how to do soEpisode References:The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apologyRelationship orbits episode - Episode 154 - What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?The clearing niggles episode- Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing NigglesNotes:Download The Acknowledgement Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Acknowledgement Download The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/ApologyVideo of educating boomer appearance about the thumbs up: https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonsappy/video/7578197526180941087Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideFind our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.