Fret the process and you'll forever fret the outcome for not revealing itself; enjoy it, and you'll see the outcome show up on its own. Often, when embarking on a journey to mastering something, we are impatient. We want to see the results instantly. And when that does not happen (for every journey takes its own time), we lose interest, sometimes even despising the process altogether. But have you ever truly unpacked why you began on the journey? Have you tried putting in your best efforts every day, not thinking of the outcome? If you haven't, then know that today's episode of Unbox Yourself is to teach you why and how you must. I'll share with you why any growth is to be cherished – not for the results alone, but for the process that brings you to it. Enjoying the process is also a sign that the path is right for you. You don't want to go ten years down the line and realize you didn't want to be where you will be, do you? Listen in to this episode as I share: How to fall in love with the process: Be flexible with your timelines; change your approach. Find enjoyment in the daily effort. How to understand that it's who you become in the process and not the number of finish lines that you cross that matters.  Only two things allow you to cross the finish line of any growth journey – Patience and Perspective. Two things that get in the way of falling in love with the process: External validation – If you want to set goals and achieve them so that others think highly of you, you are seeking to validate your value.  Impatience – If you seek overnight results or transformation, you are impatient.  Find a way to feel good about where you're at. To feel whole, complete, abundant every moment.  Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

Do you struggle with perfectionism? This episode is for you. As a recovering perfectionist, I know how difficult life as a perfectionist can be. Imagine seconding guessing everything you do just because you feel like it is not good enough. That isn’t easy! Today, we will learn how to cut ourselves some slack. In this episode, I have Jenny Toh joining me on the podcast. Jenny and I will be talking about how to battle perfectionism. She will share essential tips and tricks that have helped her make a significant change in her life. Listen to this episode to learn more.  Key Takeaways from the Episode: You cannot win over perfectionism overnight. It is a journey that takes daily practice. Perfectionism makes your life difficult and makes you work harder than you might not need to. Suppose you do something and don’t feel like it is not good enough. Always ask yourself, is it good enough for the other person? If the answer is yes, you did well!  Key Talking Points of the Episode: [1:44] What is perfectionism, and how is it manifesting in workplaces? [03:35] How to set realistic expectations [13:24] How to address perfectionism [15:45] What’s the difference between perfectionism and going the extra mile? [24:39] Is there any positive side to perfectionism? [30:12] One step that can help you overcome perfectionism Magical Quotes from the Episode: “Perfectionism is your desire for things to be done in a certain way that meets your expectations.” “I think many times we want things to be perfect more to meet our standards. We never really consider whether it’s sufficient for the other person.” “Every small step you take towards your 100% perfect vision is already a step in the right direction.” “I think with perfectionism; we tend to be too focused on our ideal, perfect vision of whatever we want. That we forget the present moment.” “Every day is a good day if you can find things worked well and are grateful for.” Connect with Jenny Toh: Website: https://www.riverlifecoaching.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenny-toh-pcc/ Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

You might feel like the only way to show that you're strong is to act like you're not affected – by anything. Just because someone is emotional doesn't mean they are weak or failing. I know this personally because I have been in situations where I've forced myself to be strong - and worshipped those who did, like my favorite Meredith Grey from a famous TV Series (calling out all Grey's Anatomy fans!).  But I realized with time that it is OKAY to break down and cry sometimes. The human in me craves to feel, to take the easy way out of problems because the pain feels hard to handle. I'm discussing the ins and outs of the subject in today's episode. We'll talk about what happens within you when you force yourself to be strong, my definition of strength, and how to define your own strength. Things to note: Consequences of ‘trying’ to be strong It makes you fragile. Because you try to muscle your way through life, plowing your way forward with all the baggage that actually needs to be dropped.  It teaches you to ignore your emotions. As you continue to do that, you begin to lose your emotional agility slowly.  It compromises your mental and physical health, causing you inexplicable stress. Define strength for yourself. For me, it's about feeling my feelings, learning to grow from tough situations with my heart and head in sync, and allowing myself the permission to be weak. It means I get to live life without judgments.  Two concepts that inspired my definition of strength: Anti-fragility: From Nicolas Nassim Taleb's book, Anti-fragile Things. It taught me that anti-fragility is beyond resilience or robustness; it's about becoming someone who grows from adversity. Emotional agility: From Susan David's book Emotional Agility. It taught me to navigate life's twists and turns with self-acceptance and helped me create my definition of strength.  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Books: Anti-fragile Things by Nassim Nicolas Taleb Emotional Agility by Susan David Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

How do you define your success? Often, we tend to define our success through other people's definitions. Today, I have the honor of having a conversation with Hamish. He is a journalist and the host of In Pursuit of Passion podcast. Before discovering he had Auditory processing disorder (APD), he always wondered why he was different from other children. He couldn't process things fast. He felt not good enough, but he had a wonderful support system from his parents. In this episode, Hamish will share his journey to reframing his learning difficulty, how he got over imposter syndrome, and his definition of success and purpose, among inspiring other topics. Listen and get inspired. Key Takeaways from the Episode: We have different abilities. The minute we start comparing ourselves with others, we lose our authentic selves. In life, having a strong support system is essential because it will help you navigate through the challenges of life. Never allow anyone to define what success should be to you. Define your purpose and your success on your terms. Key Talking Points of the Episode: [02:28] How Hamish discovered he had a learning difficulty and the need to reframe it [06:09] How Hamish got over imposter syndrome [08:22] Defining our baseline abilities [10:04] How Hamish defines success and purpose for himself [13:56] How do people find things that they love? [21:10] Hamish's advice to anyone struggling with self-worth or feeling inadequate Magical Quotes from the Episode: "It's not about doing as much as you can. It's more about knowing how well you can do something like do one particular thing." "Everyone has their own experiences that are so unique to them." "Often, we find our passions through the darkest, most sort of impactful experiences." "There's so much power on the dark side. You can either be wise or wounded." Meet Hamish! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hamish_hallett/?hl=en Podcast: In pursuit of passion: https://anchor.fm/pursuit-of-passion Connect with Hamish! Hamish Hallett is a 24-year-old podcast host and journalist passionate to share knowledge and allowing others to do the same. He hosts the In Pursuit of Passion podcast and writes for the Common Sense Network, a news network that aims to eliminate echo chambers. Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

Time and time again, people would tell you, “find your purpose, and everything will fall into place.” Okay, that sounds convincing, but HOW do you do that? The very statement makes you feel like there’s only one right answer when it clearly couldn’t be true So, how do you set yourself on the path to “doing more” and “achieving more”?  By letting your purpose come to you. And I’m not joking when saying this; your purpose does find its way to you when you engage your heart and mind in activities that feel good to you. We’re discussing all of this in today’s episode. Sit back for a fresh, heart-warming listen as I slowly unpack the things you must know to achieve joy, abundance, and success in your life – by learning to wait for your purpose consciously. In today’s episode, you’ll also learn: Asking someone to find their purpose is like telling them it’s the only right answer they must strive to answer and that they can proceed only once they’ve answered that. You don’t have to go looking for your purpose - it’ll come to you. Your purpose will come to you when you indulge in activities that feel good to you. The more time you spend engaging in things you like, the better you’ll become at it, and the closer you’ll get to your purpose. While you embrace the process of uncovering your purpose, opt-out of: Ego – Stop leaning towards things you don’t truly enjoy only because your ego keeps you in it. Let go of your fear of being a beginner and looking like a fool.  Don’t let the voice inside your head – the negative self-talk voice – stop you from advancing in your journey. Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

Have you set your core values? How did you go about it? If you are yet to set your core values, don’t fret. This episode is for you! Today we have the amazing Laura Eigel joining me on the show. According to Laura, your core values are a point of reference when you feel misaligned from your authentic self. They are the center point that you turn to when you need to make decisions.  Laura will guide us to understand how our core values impact our career and the life we want, how to set our values and boundaries, and how we can always have our core values in front of our minds as we live through life. Are you ready to learn from this episode? Listen in. You’ll also learn: It is essential to check your core values every 90 days to see if they remain the same or if something has shifted. Having an audit of your time will guide you to prioritize your values. When working on your core values, don’t be afraid to start small and grow bigger as you gain momentum. You cannot discover your leadership style overnight. It takes a lot of trial and error to understand your leadership style fully. Key Milestones of the Episode: [02:29] What does authentic leadership mean? [06:22] How core values help us get the career and the life that we want [08:31] Understanding your core values [17:16] How Laura found her authentic leadership style [22:14] The moment when Laura didn’t have her values clearly articulated [24:59] How to set boundaries and your core values [26:53] How Laura keeps her values in front of her mind as she lives through life [34:14] Key takeaway from Laura’s book Magical Quotes from the Episode: “If I know my core values, I can always return to the center.” “Once you find clarity, you audit your time, and you can set boundaries. Boundaries are guidelines on how to prioritize your values.” “If you set up what success means for that value, it becomes part of how you make decisions in the little and big things. Meet Laura! Laura is a Founder of The Catch Group. She is an executive coach accelerating high-achieving women into top jobs, and the host of You Belong in the C-Suite Podcast. Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

Have you believed all your life that you were doing good by criticizing yourself?  I have, and it took me years to realize how wrong I was. I encouraged my inner critic to continue being harsh, mean, and sometimes even condescending because I thought it opened me up to reality. But I have realized that my inner critic was filling me with fear, engaging in negative self-talk, and diminishing my confidence. Most importantly, my inner critic was suppressing my instincts. So, I had to talk about it with you. Tune in to this episode of Unbox Yourself as I speak with you about taming your inner critic by building a relationship with it. Today, you’ll learn: The importance of being self-aware and how it helps tame your inner critic. By becoming more aware of your inner critic and the judgemental tone you use on yourself, you’ll understand what’s happening and why. Fear, comparison, and negative self-talk are all signs your inner critic is working in its best power. When you cloud yourself with the negativity from your inner critic, your body responds negatively to it, too – your shoulders become tight, your instincts are nowhere helping, and you sound and feel very different. One way to tame your inner critic is to name it. Name the voice inside your head that’s constantly judging or questioning you. Distinguish between the voices — of the real you and the critiquing you. It creates a separation between you and the voice and allows you to probe and ask questions. This way, you’ll also know when to distract, when to lean in and act, and how to ask the right questions to assess any situation or feeling. Be the adult in your relationship with your inner critic, not a passive bystander. Be compassionate in your talks with yourself. Realize that getting over that inner voice is a slow process, that change happens slowly. Don’t expect it to go right the first time. Allow for some imperfection, take baby steps, and don’t try to give yourself a timeline. Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts, or questions at [email protected]

You might think that self-esteem is something you gain from the outside world, but it's not. Your self-esteem is built upon your core beliefs – your assumptions, rules and thoughts. What you think of yourself from the inside reflects on the world outside, as my returning guest Melike shares in the podcast episode today.  The best part? Melike shares that your self-esteem and sense of self-worth can be altered – based on how you develop your level of motivation and willpower.  Today, sit back and listen to my conversation with Melike as she teaches us how to rewrite the story of our lives by changing our beliefs. You'll learn to be the hero of your story, drop any unhealthy narratives about it, create positive ones, and accept life's changes. When you change your narrative around your story, you begin to see yourself and the world in a different light. Even if reinforcing the positivity takes exaggeration, opt into it. And if you don't know how, listen in to this discussion because Melike would tell you how intricately to proceed when aiming for a transformed self. You’ll learn: Our behavioral repertoire is limited to our core beliefs. How you perceive the world affects your self-esteem. Your self-esteem can be changed easily based on how you develop your motivation and willpower.  Embrace change. We are in a constant state of change; nothing ever stays the same during these times. It's essential you opt-out of a reductionist point of view, given the state of the world today. Cognitive dissonance is when we want to believe in something, and so, we ignore the facts that prove it otherwise. Eliminate the opposite truth and evidence and confirm your beliefs at the end of the day. Be as objective as possible when it comes to complimenting yourself.  Divert your language to use "Yet". Say you're "yet not ready", "yet haven't thought about something" and the like. It also makes things sound more real because no one knows what the future holds for them. Be more process-oriented. Don't get obsessed over the results. Because results isn't are not in our hands, to be honest. Meet Melike! Melike Sabak is a clinical psychologist and creator of several programs, including one on creativity called Creativity's Path. Connect with Melike! Website: https://www.thewaywesee.co.uk Connect with us! You can send us your feedback, thoughts or questions at [email protected]

Intrinsic motivation is one of the key drivers to success. It drives you to do the best you can in whatever you do, whether it is your job, a hobby or a passion. It makes you feel alive and gives you the energy to carry on. It is something that makes you want to continue achieving. But as you might well know, it cannot be bought; motivation DOESN’T come easy. How do you explain what births motivation in you? Melike Sabake revisits us on this episode of Unbox Yourself to explain just that. She reveals how all of us, as humans, operate on emotions, that our values trigger our most sincere emotions, filling us with the desire to move forward on our goals and events. Marketers, thought leaders, and experts use emotional vocabulary to connect with their audiences to light their motivation.  How do you find the willingness to execute and finish something you cannot think about beginning? How do you overcome procrastination and just start doing your work? You’ll learn the steps and formulae to them all in today’s discussion. Listen up to learn more! You’ll learn: Our values trigger the emotions in us. To achieve anything in life, connect yourself to the emotion after succeeding. Dopamine drives motivation. Once you understand how dopamine is released in your brain, you can become addicted to it. For example, succeeding in a test is an achievement that releases dopamine. It makes you feel good about yourself. “Willingness comes after the behaviors. Willingness comes after the act.” Don’t wait for long to start something; achievements can be made only after throwing yourself in the field. Be process-oriented rather than results-oriented. Keeping a small procrastination notebook helps, as Melike explains. Write down your day’s tasks by breaking them down into baby steps. It becomes more fun to accomplish them then. See the fun in a task; it becomes easier that way. Meet Melike! Melike Sabak is a clinical psychologist and creator of several programs, including one on creativity called Creativity's Path. Connect with Melike! Website: https://www.thewaywesee.co.uk Connect with us!  You can send us your feedback, thoughts or questions at [email protected]

There's much more to the psychological concept of willpower than meets the eye. For instance, did you know that willpower is an innate biological phenomenon, that with meditation and diet, you can get a stronghold of it? We're discussing all about it in this episode of Unbox Yourself. As Melike Sabak, my guest for today's episode, explains, your willpower doesn't stay in its desired state if your physical and mental state isn't at its best. To grow in your will, you must cut off unhealthy food, prioritize your sleeping habits, practice meditation, and be mindful of how you care for your brain. Meditation increases your brain's neuroplasticity, allowing your brain to respond to new stimuli and build willpower. Another essential concept we dive into today is framing a compassionate dialogue within yourself. The more judgemental you become about yourself, the more you'll hate yourself, and the harder it will become for you to enforce or reinforce positive change. Bid adieu to your urges for instant gratification, learn to treat yourself with more compassion, and step into focussed, conscious living in this episode. Listen up now! You'll also learn: Compassion begins with yourself. Train your brain to be more compassionate with you, and you'll observe your body and emotions respond positively as well. Our brains are wired for short term thinking and instant gratification as much as they are trained to build the willpower to live an accepted life in society. Compassion is key to stopping giving into temporary urges and building the mindset to observe the larger picture. When we are stressed, our prefrontal cortex goes offline (Our prefrontal cortex is the part that motivates us and helps us make decisions on long-term thinking). It causes us to automatically switch to short-term thinking, sometimes making us go for foods that give instant gratification.  Connect with Melike! Find out more about Melike Sabak's work at: https://www.thewaywesee.co.uk Connect with Us You can send us your feedback, thoughts or questions at [email protected]