Here's something I've noticed after years of teaching the Enneagram: there's usually a moment when someone who knows their type well suddenly encounters something that doesn't fit. A behavior they can't explain. A pattern that seems to contradict everything their type is supposed to do. More often than not, the answer lives in the instincts. In this episode — Episode 3 of our Enneagram Essentials series — Anthony and I go into one of the most undertaught concepts in popular Enneagram culture: the three instinctual drives. Every human being is wired with three biological survival drives — Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual (or One-to-One). These aren't psychological preferences. They're primal. They predate the ego. And they operate in a hierarchy — which means that depending on which instinct fires first for you, two people of the same Enneagram type can look almost nothing alike. We walk through all three instincts in detail: what each is oriented toward, what it looks like in everyday life, what its shadow side is, and how to start identifying which one is dominant for you. We also talk about the Repressed instinct — the drive that tends to be most underdeveloped — and why understanding it can explain a remarkable amount of friction in your closest relationships. If you've ever felt like your type description is about 80% accurate and you can't figure out what the other 20% is — take a deeper look at instincts.   **This episode is part of the Enneagram Essentials series. Episode 4 builds directly on today's content, so listen in order if you can.  

Most people who know the Enneagram know their type. Fewer know their Basic Fear. And even fewer have sat with it long enough to understand why knowing your basic fear is so important. In this episode — the second in our Enneagram Essentials series — Anthony and I go beneath the type descriptions and into the motivational core of the system: the nine Basic Fears and their counterparts, the nine Basic Desires. These are the engine underneath every pattern the Enneagram describes.  We go through all nine — what each type is running from, what it's running toward, and what it actually looks like when that fear is in the driver's seat. I also share something personal about what the fear of being ordinary has looked like in my own life as a Four. And we close with a practical practice you can start this week — one that will tell you more about your type than most assessments will. If you've been wondering why the Enneagram sometimes feels like it's describing your behavior but not quite explaining it, this is the episode. The explanation lives here. **This episode is part of the Enneagram Essentials series. Start with Episode 1 if you're new — it's a listener mailbag covering the basics and framing the series.       For additional Enneagram resources, visit https://IanMorganCron.com To register for the Enneagram Ones webinar, "Learning to Let Go," visit https://ianmorgancron.com/lettinggo

After nine seasons of Typology, Anthony and I thought we should revisit some of the basics.  This is the first episode of a five-part series we're calling Enneagram Essentials. Think of today as the front door — we cover the ground every listener needs, from how to find your type to how the Enneagram works in relationships, in faith, and in seasons of genuine suffering.  Then, in Episodes 2 through 5, we go deeper into the concepts that most Enneagram teaching glosses over: Basic Fears and Desires, Instincts, Subtypes, and Virtues. The four things that, in my experience, change everything once you actually understand them. Whether you found the Enneagram last week or you've been sitting with it for years, there's something in today's conversation for you.  

There's a particular kind of courage it takes for a Nine to write a book called Good Boundaries and Goodbyes — and Lysa TerKeurst has earned every word of it. Join us as we revisit Ian's conversation with the New York Times bestselling author to explore what it actually looks like to wake up from the Nine's trance of self-forgetting, find your voice, and learn to hold the line with compassion and clarity. Lysa gets honest about her own journey: the years of codependency during a long marriage marked by addiction and affairs, the discovery that boundaries aren't walls but communication tools, and the slow, non-linear work of learning to stop diminishing herself to cover for someone else's worst behavior. This episode is essential listening — not only for Nines but for anyone who has ever struggled to say no, set a limit, or walk away from a relationship that was taking more than it was giving. In this episode, Ian and Lysa discuss: The Nine's tendency to self-forget — and how that looks in conflict, breakups, and daily decisions Lysa's defining mantra: "I will no longer diminish the best of who I am to cover up for the worst of who someone else is." Practical scripts for saying no: "While my heart says yes, the reality of my time makes this a no." The difference between compassion and clarity — and why a Nine needs both How codependency shows up differently in Twos vs. Nines (and why they're so often confused) The dangerous pattern of spiritual bypassing — and how Lysa's therapist called it out Especially rich for Enneagram Nines and Twos — but every type will find something here worth writing down.     To learn more about Lysa Terkeurst visit www.lysaterkeurst.com or find her on Instagram and Facebook.  You can also pre-order her new book "Making Peace With What I Can't Control" here.   

What does it mean to "get it right" as a parent? Not perfectly. Not without regret. Not with some airtight system that guarantees your children will become exactly who you hoped they'd be. But with intention. With humility. With the long view in mind. In this replay episode of Typology, I sit down with Andy and Sandra Stanley—both Enneagram Ones—to talk about their book, Parenting: Getting It Right. And what unfolds is a deeply honest, practical, and surprisingly tender conversation about parenting toward relationship instead of mere compliance. Andy and Sandra share how they came to define the "win" of parenting as raising kids who want to be with you and with each other when they no longer have to be. That one sentence is worth the price of admission. We also explore the role of discipline, apology, regret, repair, and why humility may be one of the greatest gifts parents can offer their children. Whether you are raising toddlers, teenagers, adult children, or looking back with a few regrets and a lot of love, this conversation is full of wisdom, grace, and hope. In this episode, we explore: Why parenting is ultimately about relationships, not rules How Enneagram Ones parent—and what happens when two Ones raise a Seven The difference between punishment and discipline Why learning to repair broken relationships is essential for lifelong happiness How parents can live with tension without trying to solve everything Why "progress, not perfection" may be the mercy every parent needs So pour a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and listen in. This is one you'll want to pass along to every parent you know.

We're going back into the vault for one of our most popular mailbag episodes from Season 3 — and the questions are just as good as we remembered. In this episode, Ian and co-host Anthony Skinner answer listener questions on some of the Enneagram's most nuanced and personal territory: Can trauma actually change your type? What is the "sunny Four," and why do subtypes matter so much for Fours and Sixes? How do Threes and Fours process grief differently — and what does healthy grieving even look like through an Enneagram lens? What does it mean to have a heavy wing, and can you access both wings for growth? And for the Ones in the room — what do you actually do with all that repressed anger? Whether you're new to Typology or you've been with us for years, this one is worth your time. Have a question of your own? Send it to [email protected] and you might hear it answered on our next mailbag episode.  

What if the reason your closest relationships feel stuck isn't about how much you care — but about how differently you and the people you love communicate? Today, I sit down with Jason VanRuler, therapist, Enneagram Two, and author of Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connection and Stronger Relationships, as he introduces us to his P.A.T.H.S. framework — five communication styles he identified through years of working with couples navigating betrayal, teams in conflict, and individuals trying to understand why the same words land so differently depending on who's in the room. Those five types: the Peacemaker, the Advocate, the Thinker, the Harbor, and the Spark.  The nine Enneagram types map fascinatingly onto these five communication styles, and we walk through each type together. We talk about blind spots (every communication style has one), what happens to our style under stress and in conflict, and why the most generous thing you can do in any relationship is learn to speak your people's language rather than demanding they speak yours. Jason also shares honestly from his own marriage — he's a Harbor married to a Thinker — and what changed when he learned to stop reading his wife's precision questions as opposition and started hearing them as her version of love. Whether you're an Enneagram enthusiast, a couples therapist, a team leader, or just someone who's tired of feeling unseen in conversations, this episode is for you.  

What if the very thing driving your success is quietly breaking you? Brooke Taylor, Enneagram Three, career coach, and author of Healing the Success Wound,  joins me for a searingly honest conversation about achievement, identity, and spiritual hunger.. Brooke grew up in Silicon Valley where worth was measured in gold stars, landed at Google by her early twenties, and found herself drowning in a success she couldn't feel. We talk about the success wound which, as Brooke describes it, is the pain that comes from mistaking productivity and achievement for self-worth — the deeply installed belief that the more you produce and achieve, the more worthy of love and belonging you become. This wound isn't just for Enneagram Threes. It's a human condition — and it shows up differently depending on your type, your culture, your family system, and what "success" looks like in your particular world.  We talk through Brooke's five types of unfulfilled achievers — the grinder, the hider, the seeker, the work-hard-play-hard, and the pleaser — and I couldn't help mapping those to the Enneagram types in real time. We also get into the distinction between the true self, the wounded self, and the socialized (or protector) self — a framework rooted in Internal Family Systems and gestalt psychology that I think will resonate deeply with longtime Typology listeners. Whether you're a Three or you love one, this episode is for you.     Guest Bio: Brooke Taylor is a certified career coach, speaker, and the author of Healing the Success Wound. A self-identified Enneagram Three, Brooke built her coaching practice specifically for women navigating the intersection of ambition, identity, and fulfillment — though her framework applies broadly across genders. Her research includes a survey of more than 5,000 high-achieving professionals who identified as unfulfilled, which forms the empirical backbone of her five-type model of the unfulfilled achiever. A veteran of Google and a long-term member of recovery communities, Brooke brings both lived experience and rigorous research to her work. She is the founder of the Lined Ambition framework and writes and coaches at the crossroads of psychology, spirituality, and career development. Learn more at brooketaylor.co. Healing the Success Wound is available now wherever books are sold. Find Brooke at https://brooketaylorcoaching.com.  

Have you ever known where you want to go—but felt mysteriously stuck getting there? In this episode of Typology, I sit down with Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and bestselling author of Boundaries, to talk about his new book, Your Desired Future: The Five Essential Steps That Take You Where You Want to Go. Together, we explore the intersection of faith, psychology, the Enneagram, self-awareness, and personal growth, and how real transformation begins when we stop shaming ourselves for where we are and start getting curious about what's possible. Henry brings his characteristic wisdom, warmth, and clinical insight to a conversation about healing, purpose, emotional health, and the practical path from "here" to "there." This is a thoughtful and hope-filled conversation for anyone who feels stuck, is navigating change, or wants to better understand the patterns that shape the life they're living.

"Emotions drive 90 to 95% of our unconscious decision-making." Attia Qureshi is back — and this time, we go deeper. After her first interview, Attia's insights on persuasion and negotiation were so helpful that Anthony put them to the test in a real-life negotiation and said, "they changed the game." So, we invited her back to go deeper into the ideas behind her book, Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want, and explore how each Enneagram type approaches one of the most important conversations we can have: asking for what we need.But, as Attia explains, negotiation isn't just something that happens across a boardroom table. It happens every day – with our spouses, our kids, our coworkers, our neighbors, and perhaps most importantly, within ourselves. Before we ever make an ask, we have to face the internal stories, emotions, fears, and assumptions that often keep us from speaking up in the first place. In this episode, we explore how different Enneagram types navigate negotiation, conflict, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, and the art of creating value without damaging relationships. We unpack why some types avoid the ask, why others over-assert, why some need more clarity around what they actually want, and how every type can grow in confidence, courage, and self-awareness. You'll learn: How emotions shape the way we ask – or don't ask – for what we need How to identify and label your emotions so they stop driving your decisions unconsciously The worst-case scenario exercise that builds resilience and inoculates you against fear What each Enneagram type brings to the negotiation table — where they shine, where they get stuck, and what to do about it A breathing technique that signals your nervous system it's safe before a high-stakes conversation You can learn more about Attia and grab her free resource for Typology listeners, which includes a breakdown of each Enneagram type's negotiation strengths, blind spots, and exercises at https://attiaqureshi.com/typology.  Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want by Attia Qureshi and John Richardson is available now wherever books are sold.