Spelunking in the caves beneath the mountains of madness yet again, your Bookend Boys Peter and Louis read chapters 20-22 of the twisted fever dream that is Sonic High school, with the end looming tantalisingly close.
After being confronted with the apparent cheating of his true GirlFriend (sic) Amy, Sonic abandons her to stay in her Auschwitz like detention, dyes his fur black and goes on a spree of violence, drugs, public masturbation and truancy. With his mind having been taken over by drugs, he breaks into Amy’s house, beats her up, punching out all her teeth, until she kicks him in the balls, at which point, confronted with the awful things he’d done and confused in his soul, he drove off a cliff to his death. Next we see Sonics funreal (sic), where everyone is sad, until Shadow turns up ruins things by trying and failing to resurrect him with the Ultra Chaos emeralds, leaving us with the sad climax of Sonic remaining dead in a coffin while shadow shakes his cadaver about.
Meanwhile Peter and Louis try to distract themselves from these horrific happenings with talk about Christmas Classic: The Snowman, car insurance adverts, the misadventures of Seagulls, DVD rule 34 and had an open discussion about the varied genitals of the Animal Kingdom.
Two more weeks of Sonic High School and freedom will be ours.