Christopher Lum of California was slapped with two domestic violence restraining orders and ordered to give up his guns. For years, he refused, and no officials did anything about it. But his ex-wife, Erin Lum, kept working to protect herself and her sons.

Christopher Lum of California said he was a Los Angeles Fireman, former military, a rescue diver — and at first, Erin bought it all. He drew her in, asked for her help, convinced her to have his child, and she was trapped. And then, Chris did the unthinkable.

Every moment, every experience, may offer us a gift. Dr. Denise McDermott, an adult and child psychiatrist, says that even though an abusive relationship with a sociopath is horrific, it can also be a great teacher. Once we get to the other side of the experience and alchemize the trauma, we may find a greater sense of awareness and self-love.

Lesly Plummer of England wants to protect her granddaughter, who is involved with a controlling man. So Lesly is telling her own story — she was married for 35 years to a man who was condescending and cruel. After leaving him, Lesly learned that there was a reason for his neglectful behavior, and perhaps a deeper meaning to her experience.

Recovery from a damaging involvement with a sociopath is possible. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, says skills of Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT), such as mindfulness, that can help. Your goal is to lower your level of arousal due to stress, and she offers strategies that you can use right away.

Our ability to form relationships with each other is rooted deep in biological foundations. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains four behavioral systems, involving both biology and psychology, that are crucial for our relationships: The attachment or affiliation system, the caregiving system, the dominance system and the sexual system.

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much? Why does the end of a relationship feel like withdrawal? What is cognitive dissonance? Why do targets of sociopaths lose the ability to think? In part 1 of this interview, Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains the effects of extreme relationship stress.

The romantic relationship “Jessica” had with “Luke” left her feeling confused and abused. As a result, she turned to substances and experienced suicidal ideation. Then Jessica spoke with “Susanna,” who was also involved with Luke — and who endured similar treatment from him. A weight was lifted — Jessica wasn't crazy and the relationship issues were not her fault. Luke was the problem.

All her life, “Susanna’s” greatest interests were psychological thrillers and cults. When she got away from her relationship, she realized that with Luke, she’d been living in one. Susanna wondered if his other women felt the same way, and reached out to his previous girlfriend, Jessica. Yes, their experiences were painfully similar, which helped them both in their recovery.

“Susanna” realized that her boyfriend, “Luke,” had two distinct sides to his personality — one side would never hurt her, and the other could. When things were good, she enjoyed the happiest moments of her life. But when they were bad, she collapsed into a puddle of tears — and Luke didn’t care. Slowly, painfully, she learned the truth about his manipulation.