In her early twenties, Michelle got involved with a charming guy who grew progressively controlling, abusive and physically violent. When she finally freed herself eight years later, her ordeal still wasn't over: another abusive relationship, sex trafficking and substance addiction lay ahead.  Today Michelle has a loving family and a thriving writing career. In this episode we talk about different types of safety, why leaving an abusive relationship is often a process of trial and error and about the importance of responsibilities in recovery. The book: Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror We also mentioned Besser van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma and The Freedom Programme by Pat Craven Follow Michelle on Twitter @MKellyx81 If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review. Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis  

In her early twenties, Rachel started hormonal therapy to transition to become a man. Pretty much straightaway she started having misgivings about what she was doing to her body.  However, surrendering to the pressure from the transgender community, and the medical professionals who had her in care, she decided to continue the treatment. Five years later, when her organs started shutting down, she finally made the decision to come off the testosterone altogether and detransition.  In this episode Rachel and I discuss the devastating effects peer pressure can have, the importance of listening to and trusting your inner voice and why it's ok to have sexual preferences.  Here's Rachel's Twitter thread we mentioned in the episode and here's her interview with Benjamin Boyce on The Boyce of Reason. Follow Rachel on Twitter @habituallyfemme or get in touch with her [email protected]  The book: Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias' Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review. Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

Paul Bulos is a publishing professional, an Executive, Leadership & Wellbeing Coach, a husband, and a father of two children. He has lived with anxiety since he was a young man. Following the sudden loss of his father at a time when he'd just become a father himself, he developed a desperate need to keep his family safe that manifested itself through unhelpful behaviours. Today Paul has learned to manage his anxiety but it's very much an ongoing process full of pitfalls.  In this episode, we discuss a specific type of anxiety a growing number of men in their thirties and forties seem to experience about the roles and responsibilities they have in their families, their communities and in society in general. Follow Paul on Twitter @BooBooBulos and check out his articles here and here. You can also contact him through his website: the Complete Coach The book: Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements In the episode we also mention Jo Simpson, coach and author of the book, The Restless Executive.  If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review. Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis  

Buck Angel is a transexual activist, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, YouTuber and many more other things.  Born female, Buck was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in his twenties after a tumultuous adolescence. Now in his late fifties, he speaks candidly about his transition to become a man and how that cured his dysphoria.  In this episode we talk about being a guinea pig, almost becoming a supermodel and the importance of taking ownership of your own life.  Follow Buck on Twitter @BuckAngel or subscribe to his YouTube channel  Check out Rachel Mason's documentary: Circus of Books The book: Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review. Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

In her early twenties, homeless and addicted to drugs, Robin sought treatment for an STD. Scared and confused, and completely unaware of being pregnant, what Robin didn't realise was that she'd been given drugs to terminate the pregnancy. After years she's finally made peace with what she's done and what she's lost. In this episode Robin and I talk about the role of faith in her healing, the importance of having a pro-choice/pro-life debate and the reaction to that Tweet. Follow Robin on Twitter: @truthagape The book: Karen A. Allison's Healing the Hurt that Won't Heal The resources:  Abortion Testimonials Deeper Still Retreats Rachel's Vineyard Retreats If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review. Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

At 17, Eliza moved to LA with big dreams. Within 48 hours, the man who had promised to make her a star had sold her to another man in Hollywood for $500. This was only the beginning of an ordeal that was to last for over 15 years. Today Eliza is an advocate for survivors of human trafficking, sex trafficking and child trafficking. In this episode, Eliza and I discuss why she's the queen of bouncebacks, the importance of taking personal responsibility and how being difficult saved her life.

At the age of seven, Somali-born nurse Hoda Ali was subjected to type 3 female genital mutilation (FGM), alongside her six-years-old sister. The numerous resulting complications still affect her today, over thirty years later. In this episode Hoda and I talk about how we all bleed the same colour, the importance of calling things by their name, and why she thinks she’s the luckiest girl alive.

This Bonus Episode is an origin story of sorts. In it I reflect on my personal trauma, why I started the podcast and why it's called Tough Love (Spoiler Alert: it's because of my favourite teacher). Tough Love is taking a short break and will be back on the 3rd September with more inspiring stories.

After a normal pregnancy but a difficult birth, Susannah’s baby, Arthur, passed away just three days after being born. For a pregnant woman, this is the worst case scenario. So, what does it take to move beyond the engulfing grief? Is it even possible to do? In this episode we talk about the importance of having a community, why after something like this happens you’ll never look at statistics quite in the same way, and about the big difference made by telling people exactly what you need.

How do you recover physically from a stroke that left you unable to blink or swallow, let alone speak or walk? How do you move past the anger, the resentment, and the fear you’ve become a burden to the people you love? At the age of twenty-four, occupational therapist Emma was a keen traveller and an avid runner. When surgery to remove a malformation in her brain went wrong, the subsequent stroke robbed Emma of life as she knew it.