"My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not tempted."~ Galatians 6:1Why is it so tempting to speak harshly to the people that we love most in the world? How do we overcome this habit and speak with the gentleness that comes from the Holy Spirit? In this final installment of their four-part series on Dr. John Gottman's 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse for relationships, Kenna and Pat discuss Criticism. They delve into the importance of clear behavioral requests, replacing criticism with positive interactions, and the concept of a "gentle startup" as the antidote to criticism in relationships & marriages. Drawing from their own experiences, they emphasize the detrimental effects of criticism on emotional connection and vulnerability. This episode offers an insightful and heartfelt exploration of emotional connection, personal growth, and the impact of communication dynamics in relationships - not to mention a heated discussion about popular musicians.Join Pat & Kenna as they close their series on the 4 Horsemen, and get ready to embrace a more connected and joyful relationship!Episode 40 Show NotesCheck out the first 3 episodes of the 4 Horsemen series:Episode 14: Defeating DefensivenessEpisode 18: Tearing Down Walls & Building A Connected Marriage (on Stonewalling)Episode 30: Conquering Contempt Chapters:00:00: Intro & a new music-related game18:22: Highs & Hards27:42: Explaining Criticism, the last of the Four Horsemen for relationships42:03: The antidote to Criticism50:09: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."~ 2 Corinthians 3:17How often do we hear that someone is "obsessed" with a new show or that they keep a clean home because they're "a little OCD"? The reality is that the burden of OCD weighs heavily on millions of people who suffer with this disorder, and on those who love them. How can we understand OCD and its effects on faith? And, even more importantly, how can we support those who are working on healing from OCD - or seek help and support ourselves?In Episode 39 of "This Whole Life," Kenna welcomes Dr. Katherine Posch, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety disorders. They tackle the complexities of OCD and its terrible cycle. Dr. Posch emphasizes evidence-based treatments, including Exposure and Response Prevention therapy, and offers a hope-filled way forward for those struggling with religious OCD or scrupulosity. Through personal experiences and professional expertise, the episode offers hope, understanding, and practical guidance for those impacted by OCD - and for all of us who can be stuck in a place of fear and anxiety. Freedom is real and possible!Katherine Posch, Psy.D., LP is a licensed clinical psychologist at  Renew Behavioral Health in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin and earned her Doctor of Psychology in Clinical Psychology from Baylor University. She completed a clinical internship at George E. Wahlen Veterans Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah and a Postdoctoral Fellowship in PCBH/Health Psychology at Hennepin Healthcare Medical Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Find out more about Katherine's work at renewbehavioralmn.com.Episode 39 Show NotesThe International OCD Foundation & their provider directoryChapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards15:17: What is OCD?26:15: Treating OCD & discovering hope39:19: Approaching OCD related to faith & religious practice47:51: Supporting a loved one struggling with OCD53:45: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."~ Colossians 3:17Marriage and family life is a beautiful, romantic, sacramental vocation. And in the midst of that vocation, spouses also need to deal with finances, schedules, meal plans, parenting, budgets, and to-do lists. How are we supposed to maintain an organized home and family while being connected to each other in love & faithfulness? In Episode 38, Kenna and Pat invite listeners into the concept of Family Meetings — a deliberate practice that allows couples to navigate their roles and responsibilities, as well as support their shared values and goals. With wisdom and practical tips, they discuss the benefits and structure of their Family Meetings, offering valuable advice for listeners seeking intentional living and unity within their families. Through prayer, reflection, and concrete planning, family meetings can be transformative in fostering a deeper, more purposeful connection within the home.Episode 38 Show NotesClick to download your Family Meeting Agenda templateChapters00:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards10:21: The value of family meetings20:27: The practicals that support our values29:29: The Family Meeting Agenda40:44: Takeaways from the family meeting43:25: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."~ Colossians 3:13In the prayer that Jesus gave us, we hear: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." We pray these words so often that we can overlook how challenging, and even unpopular, we find the reality of forgiveness. We have all been hurt by others, sometimes in profound and life-altering ways. Why would Jesus command us to do something as difficult - maybe even irrational - as forgiving?In episode 37 of "This Whole Life", Kenna and Pat Millea delve into the complexities of forgiveness with Fr. Nathan LaLiberte. Together, they explore the spiritual, emotional, and psychological freedom that forgiveness brings, emphasizing its importance for personal wholeness and healthy relationships. The conversation touches on the challenges of seeking and offering forgiveness, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and the significance of self-forgiveness. Drawing from Christian truths and psychological perspectives, the episode offers insights into the transformative power of forgiveness, emphasizing the ongoing process of releasing resentment and embracing personal freedom. Begin or continue your path toward freedom and healing with this impactful conversation!Episode 37 Show NotesChapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards10:07: Forgiveness is essential25:30: Practical approaches to forgiveness37:15: HOW do I forgive?47:09: How can I forgive myself?51:53: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective."~ 1 Corinthians 15:10As humans living in a fallen world, we often feel the space between our hopes and reality, and in that space we find disappointment, frustration, and heartbreak. Our relationships, our families, our work are marked by this hardship. What do we do when we are so tempted to either deny reality or wallow in the difficulty?In episode 36 of "This Whole Life," Kenna and Pat delve into the topic of radical acceptance, navigating the complexities and challenges of embracing this skill in everyday life - especially during the holiday season. They share personal stories and insights on practicing radical acceptance, emphasizing the importance of Acknowledging, Honoring, and Accepting reality in order to move forward in hope and joy. From dealing with difficult relationships to facing professional uncertainties, Kenna and Pat illustrate how radical acceptance can lead to emotional growth and newfound possibilities. Radical acceptance does NOT mean accepting sin or giving up our efforts to work for better relationships and situations. Rather, radical acceptance allows us to move forward with purpose by clarifying our starting point in the present moment.Join us for this hopeful, real, and relevant conversation!Chapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards13:50: Lightning Round: Hot Takes25:29: Exploring Radical Acceptance39:51: Real life example of radical acceptance54:52: Challenge By ChoiceEpisode 36 Show NotesThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"It is necessary that the heroic becomes daily and that the daily becomes heroic."~ Saint Zélie MartinIn this fallen world, there are particular evils that require the grace of God and the support of loved ones to overcome. Pornography certainly falls into this category. In the second half of the conversation about pornography, Pat & Kenna discuss the consequences that brokenness and addiction had for their marriage. They also recall key moments that led them to reconciliation and deeper intimacy. Loving relationships, especially marriages, are the ones most affected by pornography and sin of any kind. And it's also true that loving relationships and marriages are one of the most powerful agents of healing on the path to recovery and wholeness. How can we restore a sense of unity and connection when hope seems lost in a relationship? How do we even begin to build trust when there has been so much betrayal? Join Pat & Kenna for this forthright conversation, and get ready to move toward authenticity and communion!Episode 35 Show NotesChapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards11:19: Continuing the conversation on pornography14:29: Responding to listener questions26:18: How healing & hope looked in our marriage41:33: Earning & building trust50:10: United together against a threat to our marriage55:23: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God..."~ Psalm 51:12How can something that affects all of us be something that we almost never talk about honestly and purposefully? Pornography has infiltrated individuals, marriages, families, and the Church, and it's time to deal with it in ways that are faithful and fruitful. In this incredibly candid episode, Pat and Kenna dive into an intimate and inspiring discussion about the impact of pornography within their marriage and their own personal journeys. With raw vulnerability, they reveal the emotional toll, struggles, and triumphs experienced during Pat's journey to recovery and their path to healing in their marriage.From the deceptive nature of pornography's allure to the deep wounds inflicted, Pat and Kenna unpack the complexities and offer personal insights into navigating the aftermath. Together, they explore the transformative power of openness and healing, emphasizing the need for accountability, grace, and compassion in the face of addiction. This compelling episode addresses the profound effects of pornography on relationships and highlights the resilience and growth that can emerge from facing such challenges. Join Pat and Kenna as they courageously share their story, offering wisdom, hope, and guidance for all navigating similar struggles.Please send us your questions and feedback to include for the next episode of this 2-part series on pornography! You can send us a message on Instagram or Facebook, or send us an email at [email protected]. Episode 34 Show Notes (Including all the great resources for overcoming pornography mentioned in the episode)Chapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards11:53: When pornography is personal20:33: Explaining this 2-part series & studies on porn25:59: When did you know that porn was a problem?37:08: Feeling a loss of worth & maintaining boundaries45:00: What helped turn things around?55:56: Getting past porn to the deeper wounds1:00:45: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"To attribute the efficacy of prayers or of sacramental signs to their mere external performance, apart from the interior dispositions that they demand, is to fall into superstition."~ Catechism of the Catholic Church §2111Let's face it: it's really scary to realize that we're not in control, and that's understandable. But grasping for control through superstition is, at best, fruitless and can even be mentally and spiritually harmful. From rabbit's feet and lucky coins to empty "religious" routines, superstitions are all around us.In Episode 33, Pat Millea delves into the intriguing topic of superstition and its impact on our lives and faith. Joined by guest Fr. Nathan LaLiberte, they explore the dangers of relying on superstitious practices and the importance of giving God alone control in our lives. They examine the consequences of seeking control through superstitious beliefs and highlight the need to break free from these shackles, which can even constrain our otherwise good religious practices. From discussing the physical aspects of Catholicism to the connection between superstition and OCD, Pat and Fr. Nathan provide insight and a way forward in trust of God. Join us for this relatable and relevant conversation that we all need!Chapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards13:59: What is superstition & what's wrong with it?24:02: Examples of religious superstitions34:00: The impact of superstition on mental health44:24: Superstitions vs. Genuine virtue in faith47:21: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"I do not ask that you take them out of the world but that you keep them from the evil one. ... As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world."~ John 17:15, 18Let's face it: the fallen world around us is a difficult place to be. We, who desire a healthy and holy life, are surrounded by secular influences and misguided worldviews. What are we supposed to do? How do we stay sane and holy in a secular world? It can be tempting to either give in to the values of this world or run away from it altogether.But the life and ministry of St. Paul offers us a middle path: engaging the secular as a means of leading others toward the sacred. In this episode, Pat & Kenna are joined by Fr. Nathan LaLiberte and Fr. Luke Marquard in Athens, Greece near the end of a pilgrimage in the footsteps of St. Paul. Together, they delve into the difficult - but invaluable - call to be leaven in the world and to reject fear. This has crucial and practical implications for us, our children, the Church, and the world. Be not afraid!Chapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards12:11: The Sacred & the secular23:44: The tradition of "baptizing" secular places & actions30:29: Rejecting objective evil vs. a rigid dismissal of the secular35:43: The value of prudence in making wise choices45:37: Paul in Corinth & Titus on Crete51:33: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

"We should strive to keep our hearts open to the sufferings and wretchedness of other people, and pray continually that God may grant us that spirit of compassion which is truly the spirit of God."~ St. Vincent de Paul ➡️"Snowplow" parenting, friendship, or marriage➡️Trying to fix other people's problems ➡️Over-functioningWe care so deeply for our loved ones, and it pains us to watch them struggle and suffer. Sometimes it is good and necessary to help alleviate their suffering. But all of us are tempted to cross the line into interfering in others' lives in order to assuage our own discomfort. But where is the line, and how is over-functioning harmful to people and relationships?Using real-life examples and their unique perspectives as therapist, minister, and parents, Kenna and Pat discuss the dangers of "snowplowing" and the impact it can have on personal growth and relationships. They also reflect on the profound suffering endured by Jesus and his mother, and how their example can guide us in supporting our loved ones in the midst of their own struggles. Join us as we explore together the beautiful opportunity to sit with our loved ones in their hardship and, at the same time, offer them the gift of growth and resilience.Chapters:0:00: Intro & Highs and Hards12:26: Introduction to overfunctioning18:02: Overfunctioning is about MY discomfort, not my loved one’s23:15: Examples of overfunctioning in film & Scripture31:08: Mary as a witness of sitting with someone in the struggle40:31: Challenge By ChoiceThank you for listening! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Check us out on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.