Have you ever felt guilty for feeling joyful? After I lost Terese, I almost automatically told myself I could NEVER feel happy again as it would not honor her death. When I had Tegan, I started to experience that I could live with sadness and joy without feeling bad. I could love Tegan and miss Terese in the same moment. I could be smiling while crying knowing that I had to lose Terese in order to have Tegan. Instead of forcing yourself to feel one way or another - allow yourself to live in both places. Honor the sadness and Celebrate the Joy!