Two years ago to the day, NASA’s Opportunity was swallowed up by the red planet in what has since been deemed an unprovoked attack. And now, NASA is seeking its revenge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

New Guidelines Allow Gyms To Reopen For Weak Little Bitches Who Just Diddle Around And Don’t Break A Real Sweat Anyway

The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.