The Thrive with Aspergers Podcast

Activities of Daily Living: Change the World By Making Your Bed? Activities of daily living may seem like a small thing. But it’s the small things that make the biggest difference. Small Decisions Made Me Get Behind I’ve gotten behind in writing posts for this blog. It started when I was training for another Chicago Marathon. This year it was toward the beginning of October. I started telling myself, “I’ve got so much training to do, I’ve got this to do, and I’ve got that to do.” And now it’s been about three weeks since my last podcast episode or blog post! “How will I ever get back into the groove?,” I ask myself. It starts by sitting down at the computer and starting to type: a small action. Making Your Bed: An Illustration It’s the small things. Here’s an inspirational video of a speech by Admiral William McCraven. It’s called, “Changing the World By Making Your Bed.” I believe all of us, both spectrum and non-spectrum, can improve our quality of living by learning about activites of daily living. What Are Activities of Daily Living? For a full discussion of activities of daily living, check out the Wikipedia Article. Activities of daily living is a concept proposed in the 1950s by a research team at the Benjamin Rose Hospital in Cleveland, OH. In her article, The Twenty Something Free Fall, Deborah Rudacille outlines the challenge many high school autistics face when they leave high school and try to transition to a more independent adult life. Often, there are many skills that were done for the high schooler.  Parents are often guilty of having difficulty “letting go,” or teaching their kids to do things on their own. Authors Mlinac and Feng define activities of daily living as outlined below: Michelle E. Mlinac, Michelle C. Feng; Assessment of Activities of Daily Living, Self-Care, and Independence, Archives of Clinical Neuropsychology, Volume 31, Issue 6, 1 September 2016, Pages 506–516, https://doi.org/10.1093/arclin/acw049 Activities of daily living (ADLs), often termed physical ADLs or basic ADLs, include the fundamental skills typically needed to manage basic physical needs, comprised the following areas: grooming/personal hygiene, dressing, toileting/continence, transferring/ambulating, and eating. These functional skills are mastered early in life and are relatively more preserved in light of declined cognitive functioning when compared to higher level tasks. Basic ADLs are generally categorized separately from Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADLs), which include more complex activities related to independent living in the community (e.g., managing finances and medications). IADL performance is sensitive to early cognitive decline, whereas physical functioning is often a significant driver of basic ADL ability (Boyle, Cohen, Paul, Moser, & Gordon, 2002; Cahn-Weiner et al., 2007). Why Can Activities of Daily Living Be Difficult on the Autism Spectrum? I found this informal poll at WrongPlanet, asking whether autism/Aspergers members have difficulty with basic or instrumental activities of daily living. Almost 100 people responded.  7% said they did not have any trouble.

You’ll agree with me, I hope, that autistic burnout is real. If you haven’t had a chance, please check out the Thrive with Aspergers podcast episode number 88, called 3 Reasons We Should Be Talking About Autistic Burnout. In this post, I’m sharing autistic writers’ tips for burnout recovery. What Is Autistic Burnout? It’s a term that I’ve heard come up in reading many different articles and forum posts. Karla’s ASD Page has a picture that illustrates some of the symptoms of burnout: * Late-onset loss of functioning due to sustained monumental efforts *  Happens to MANY young ASD adults and many more all the way up into 50-60 years *  Often directly related to failing at ‘fitting in’ with NT social skills despite faking it all the time to make it *  No ASD (autism spectrum) book or NT (neurotypical) professional references Autistic Burnout. Only ASD adults talk about it. Autistic Burnout Recovery Tips Tip 1: Burnout Does Not Equal Regression This is a reminder to teachers, parents, therapists, and spouses as well as to autistics. Autistics may have learned to camouflage or adapt their natural tendencies in order to “fit in” with society for a job, or a relationship, or other things. But after a while, if under too much stress, and if the demands of a job or a relationship exceed the capacity to cope, burnout may occur. In this case, remember that your behavior may simply be your system telling you, “It’s too much!” Cynthia Kim summarizes this beautifully in her article, Autistic Regression and Fluid Adaptation: Being autistic means a lifetime of fluid adaptation. We get a handle on something, develop coping strategies, adapt and we’re good. If life changes, we many need some time to readapt. Find the new pattern. Figure out the rules. Test out strategies to see what works. In the mean time, other things may fall apart. We lose skills. We struggle to cope with things that had previously been doable under more predictable conditions. This is not regression to an earlier developmental stage, it’s a process of adapting to new challenges and it’s one that we do across a lifetime of being autistic. (italics mine). Action Step: Practice Self-Compassion I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a tendency to “beat myself up” when I struggle with setbacks in my life. Try a new habit instead, called Self-Compassion. I’ve linked to this self-compassion page with several practical exercises to help you cope with the stress of life changes. Read the page and pick out a couple exercises you can do each day. Tip 2: Scale Back To Cynthia Kim’s point, there may be things we need to Stop Doing, things we need to Keep Doing, and things we need to Start Doing. Thanks to Judy Endow for her article, Autistic Burnout and Aging. In this article, she tells of how she has had to manage burnout by withdrawing from most of daily life to focus on the essentials of employment an...

If you&#8217;re reading this, and you&#8217;ve been feeling depressed, would you like some easy tips to help you feel better? In this article, I&#8217;m going to share 5 behavioral activation tips that are easy to use. If you work on this, either by yourself, or with a loved one, you&#8217;ll start to feel better. What is Behavioral Activation? And Why Should You Care? Think of yourself as a car. You&#8217;re a prime model, but you&#8217;re engine is cold from not being used in a long time. That&#8217;s what it&#8217;s like when we&#8217;re depressed. Things we used to enjoy doing no longer hold any pleasure. For example, we may stop hobbies (like video games, running, or hanging out with friends or family). We avoid responsibilities of daily living, like bathing, showering, paying bills, cleaning our house, or going to work. We remember when, like a car, we used to run effortlessly down the highway. But now, our engine is stalled. Behavioral activation is like jumper cables that can get our batteries started. Clinical psychologists studied behavior of depressed people and found out that there is depressant behavior and anti-depressant behavior. Here&#8217;s a graphic from Therapist Aid that illustrates this concept. The key to feeling better, sometimes, lies in our actions! We need to act our way into feeling better. 5 Behavioral Activation Tips 1.  Keep It Simple! When we&#8217;re depressed, performing the smallest actions can seem like trying to climb Mount Everest. In the words of C.S. Lewis, “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” So the more simple a solution is, the better. That&#8217;s why, for $4.99, you can download Moodivate, an app developed specifically to make behavioral activation easy. Unfortunately this app is only available for iPhone users at this time. If you can&#8217;t get the app, or if you don&#8217;t want to pay for it, here&#8217;s what you can do. a) Watch this video from Therapist Aid to better understand behavioral activation. b) Download the free positive activities worksheet from Therapist Aid. It&#8217;s pretty self-explanatory. Don&#8217;t think about how you currently think about positive activities.  Rather, think about positive activities you used to enjoy doing. A lot of this therapy is &#8220;fake it till you make it&#8221; , or &#8220;act as if&#8221; you were feeling better. If you&#8217;re having a hard time thinking about ideas, use this free activities list to choose from. 2. What Am I Doing?!  Pay Attention Before we go any further, how we need to examine our daily routine. Looking at ourselves is always painful. I remember being in debt before I got married.  I went to a debt counselor. The first thing we had to do was to list out my debts and see what I was dealing with. It&#8217;s also like that when we need to lose weight. We need to step on the scale and look at our weight. So, what I want you to do, is to simply record and observe! Action Step: Go to Psychology Tools and register to get free access to all their worksheets. Here&#8217;s the <a href="https://www.psychologytools.

Integrative Health. Have you thought much about it?  Well, if you live in one of 20 something states who have licensed naturopathic physicians, you&#8217;ll be familiar with it. In the Thrive Community a few weeks ago, several members were asking about holistic health tips.  I then found out that one of our members, Greg Garoppolo, is completing his doctoral studies in naturopathic medicine. He graciously agreed to join me on the show. In This Episode, You&#8217;ll Learn: * about Greg&#8217;s work in the Portland area helping to coordinate a support group for employed autistic adults * Greg&#8217;s vision for better healthcare for the autism community * How Greg went from selling cars to doing medical research, and now to helping clients improve their health * Tip #1: Understand how Stress Can Undermine Your Diet * Understanding how sensory processing difficulties and emotional regulation challenges can lead to unhealthy diet choices * Tip #2: Keep a diet journal and record what you eat, how you feel emotionally before you eat something, and then how you feel emotionally after you eat something. * Tip #3: Adjust your exercise to your own needs.  For example, stretching exercises may be just as effective as cardiovascular exercise. * There are many more tips embedded in our free ranging conversation. * You&#8217;ll also learn how naturopathic physicians are similar to, but also different from MDs. Helpful Links and Resources Greg graduated from Pace University in NYC in 2011, Magna cum Laude with a BS in Biology. He obtained his Master’s of Science in Integrative Medicine Research from the National University of Natural Medicine in 2016.  His thesis focused on  a historical review on malaria control methodology. He is completing final requirements for a doctorate in naturopathic medicine. Food and Fitness Journal from WebMD About Naturopathic Medicine Naturopathic Medicine: What You Need To Know What Is Integrative Health &#8211; from Duke Integrative Medicine Stretching Exercises Are In As The Next Fitness Fad Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! Copyright: pixinoo / 123RF Stock Photo

It&#8217;s not every day that you find easy ways to change your life for the better. I first encountered James Swanick when I was listening to the Spartan Up Podcast.  He talked about the fun and health benefits of giving up alcohol! I was intrigued. I&#8217;m not much of a drinker, but I have noticed that when I do drink some alcohol, I feel a bit &#8220;blah&#8221; a bit later. Then I found out that James has done a lot of research on sleep and its benefits. Health and sleep! You and I can change our lives for the better with better health and better sleep! Listen on to find out more! In This Episode: * James&#8217; message about alcohol: you can go from good to great by taking his no alcohol challenge * James&#8217; story about how he stopped drinking alcohol, and why he created the no alcohol challenge * What a glass of alcohol can do to you * The cycle of social drinking * The health benefits of abstinence from drinking * What&#8217;s blue light, and why should I avoid it at night?  (And sometimes during the day?) * How blue light can interfere with your sleep * Swannie glasses as a sleep solution Links and Resources Mentioned: Meet James James Swanwick is an Australian-American investor, entrepreneur, speaker, former SportsCenter anchor on ESPN and host of The James Swanwick Show podcast. He is the CEO of Swanwick Sleep and creator of blue-light blocking glasses Swannies, which helps people sleep better; and the author of The 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge, which helps people reduce or quit alcohol. Forbes listed James as one of 25 Professional Networking Experts to Watch in 2015. Swanwick has interviewed celebrities including Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger. James is also host of The James Swanwick Show and has been interviewed on podcasts including Bulletproof Radio, Ben Greenfield Fitness, Art of Charm; news sites including Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, Psychology Today and Yahoo Health; and TV shows Live with Kelly and KTLA. The 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge swannie glasses on Amazon.com The science behind Swanwick Sleep: https://www.swanwicksleep.com/pages/studies Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/a5tyA1ZNpAU?

&#8220;My burnout started at age 45 and ended up in complete collapse at age 47. My coworkers thought I was the same as usual; but my body was going through literal hell from not being able to relax. I often wished I could run screaming from the building, but I felt like I had no option. I think one thing that may be different about a person on the spectrum going through burnout, is they may have learned a social facade that can be carried into periods when they are horribly stressed.&#8221;  ~ Katie Mia What Is Autistic Burnout? It&#8217;s a term that I&#8217;ve heard come up in reading many different articles and forum posts. Karla&#8217;s ASD Page has a picture that illustrates some of the symptoms of burnout: * Late-onset loss of functioning due to sustained monumental efforts *  Happens to MANY young ASD adults and many more all the way up into 50-60 years *  Often directly related to failing at &#8216;fitting in&#8217; with NT social skills despite faking it all the time to make it *  No ASD (autism spectrum) book or NT (neurotypical) professional references Autistic Burnout. Only ASD adults talk about it. 3 Reasons Why We Need to Be Talking About Autism and Burnout #1 So That You Realize You&#8217;re Not Alone I&#8217;ve run and participated in a lot of counseling groups. So many people are amazed when they hear that they are not the only ones struggling with a particular problem. &#8220;I thought I was the only one!&#8221; is something many participants say. When they find out their problem is not unique, they draw comfort from knowing there are others like them. You may feel discouraged and critical of yourself, wondering why you no longer have the energy or motivation to do what you&#8217;ve been doing, whether at work or in your personal life. Well, you don&#8217;t have to be alone anymore.  I&#8217;ll share articles that have a lot of resources and links to other autistic writers&#8217; stories so that you can learn about this phenomenon called autistic burnout. #2 So That You Can Recognize The Signs Amethyst Schaber made this very helpful video to describe autistic burnout. Watch this video for a detailed description of causes and &#8220;fixes&#8221; for autistic burnout. I&#8217;ve taken some notes underneath the video. You may be developing autistic burnout if: * you feel like you have ever-increasing demands in your life * your brain is getting exhausted and seems to stop processing sometimes * you feel like you&#8217;re getting &#8220;more autistic&#8221; (when you&#8217;ve actually been autistic all your life) In children, autistic burnout may show in some of the following symptoms: * increase in the number of meltdowns * physiological fight or flight response * perhaps the child is going through big changes (starting school, having to enter new therapy) * their mind and body are so tired and exhausted, that they no longer have the energy to use the skills that they have * they can appear to be a lack of motivation * they may have memory difficulties In adults, autistic burnout may look as follows: * feeling even less understood * autistic burnout permeates every area of your life * it results in a sensory shut down and being unable to process information<...

How many spoons do you have in your drawer?   Musings of an Aspie writer, Cynthia Kim, illustrated the spoon theory of disability by talking about a silverware drawer.   Each spoon in the drawer represents your energy.   As an Aspie, you may have limited capacity relating to social communication, using language, physical activity, sensory challenges, or executive function.   Using too many spoons, representing your mental, physical and emotional resources, results in exhaustion and burnout.   When talking about work and life balance in the autism community, I imagine the topic is as varied as there are people.   But I would imagine the following scenario, expressed by one of the Thrive with Aspergers Facebook community members (with his permission) is not uncommon &#8211;   “ I have a battle waging in my head right now. The strong need for a regular income vs. the strong desire to be myself. It seems there is a black/white choice &#8211; either I have a regular income from a job I don&#8217;t really want, or I be myself, which means I want nothing to do with the job. My most peaceful mind comes from creating art, but my most regular income comes from keeping the job that constantly pushes my buttons. I now have a wife and 3 kids to support&#8230;am I stuck in the job until I retire? I love my wife and kids, and putting them and myself in financial risk drives me insane, but so does the job. Anyone else deal with these issues?”    While I don’t have simple answers, I do know that work and life balance is something everyone has to make a priority.   3 Tips For A Balanced Lifestyle 1. Understand Your Unique Neurology First, have you received an autism diagnosis?  If not, you may want to listen to this episode.   If you know you&#8217;re on the autism spectrum, it&#8217;s important to know what aspects of life you&#8217;re good at, and where you struggle.   In her article, &#8220;How to build a career if you have Aspergers&#8220;, Penelope Trunk shows awareness of her brain preferences. She talks about what she can do, and what she needs help with:   For example &#8211; she does not engage in small talk, but she knows that since she often does not conform to rules she cannot detect, she ends up being a great business coach for others.  She has no &#8220;filter&#8221; when she talks to people &#8211; that&#8217;s gotten her fired from jobs, but her honest and direct feedback is what her business coaching clients are looking for.   Dr. Valerie Gaus, author of Living Well on the Autism Spectrum, spend the first part of the book talks about differences autism presents in dealing with everyday life.  These differences include both strengths and vulnerabilities.   Buy Dr. Gaus&#8217; book (or check it out from the library) and study the first part of the book to see what differences you most strongly identify with.  

Even though I grew up in the Amazon rainforest, I don&#8217;t have a lot of outdoors survival skills. When we&#8217;re feeling dull and uninspired, you may feel like I did when I tried to start a camping fire on many a camping trip. I&#8217;d put all the kindling together, build a nice stick structure, and try to get the fire going. But often, the wood was too wet, or there was too much wind, and after many unsuccessful attempts, I&#8217;d give up. How To Motivate Yourself: Like Starting a Fire? Maybe you&#8217;ve felt like I did with that campfire when trying to motivate yourself. Here&#8217;s what one person in our Thriver&#8217;s community recently said. &#8220;How do we stop ourselves from drifting aimlessly through life? I&#8217;m too good at too many different things, and I need to find some way to narrow down my direction in life. At this stage in life, most of my age peers are well established in their careers, etc, while I still find myself flitting from interest to interest. I&#8217;m interested in learning almost anything, and have proven adept in any area I choose to focus on, but then I lose motivation and get caught up (hyperfocused I guess) in some new exciting area. I&#8217;m realizing this has been my life pattern, and while I&#8217;m happy doing whatever I&#8217;m doing at the time, I wonder why I have so many diverse skills and am unable to make any significant contribution anywhere&#8230; I don&#8217;t know if I&#8217;m making myself clear here, but I just wish I were better able to set and persevere in some clear life goals&#8230;&#8221; I appreciate this person sharing their struggles, and I could see from follow-up comments that this person was not alone! Motivation is a huge topic, and today I want to discuss it more generally. I&#8217;m going to talk about sticking with a goal once we&#8217;ve determined that it&#8217;s an important one for our lives. You and I can learn to motivate ourselves to start and continue our progress toward our goals by following 5 tips which I&#8217;ll be sharing with you today. Why Do Many Autistics Find Motivation Challenging? In her post, ASD Findings: Aspergers, Samantha Craft, M.Ed., writes: The individual with AS often lacks the ability to self-motivate in order to complete a task, when the job at hand is not of great interest or urgency. High levels of self-motivation often coincide with a strong interest, sense of gain (knowledge, proving an altruistic cause, financial), recent emotional upheaval, desire to be understood, a need to self-preserve through distraction, and the want to please and do a good job. An interest might be piqued by the unconscious tendency to mirror and take on another person’s (friend, colleague, family member) interests. Autism and ADHD are not the same thing.  However, both autistics and those who have ADD seem to struggle with determining what is important, and then getting themselves to do the tasks needed for those goals after the initial interest has worn off. (see Secrets of Your ADHD Brain). According to Dr. William Dodson, &#8221; I see ADHD stemming from a nervous system that works perfectly well by its own set of rules. Unfortunately, it does not work by any of the rules or techniques taught and encouraged in a neurotypical world.&#8221; ADHD people often are motivated only by that which they feel is of great interest or urgency.  If someone else tells them something is important (like their boss, or when they are in school, a teacher), but they don&#8217;t feel interested, it&#8217;s very hard to complete a task.

Gus Hardy, an autistic author, shared his story about another autistic friend from high school: I talked a year ago with an old friend from high school who shares my disorder but not my belief. My friend had attempted suicide, reasoning that “I’m not contributing anything to the world, and since we’re all screwing up the environment, I might as well not use up any more of the earth’s resources.” This friend could only see the world in terms of resources and expendability—with no mention of inherent worth or dignity. I still pray for her. Gus&#8217;s autistic friend&#8217;s suicide attempt unfortunately highlights a trend in the autistic community: suicidal thoughts and attempts. Aspergian author M. Kelter wrote about a study talking about how two in every three Asperigan young and older adults struggle with suicidal thoughts. M. Kelter writes, One recent study found that two thirds of spectrum-diagnosed adults surveyed had contemplated suicide; 35 percent had actually made plans or an attempt. This is why we need to be talking about suicide prevention, particularly for autistics and Aspergians. You can give and receive hope by learning about suicide prevention. Here are 8 things you and I should know about suicide prevention. 1.  What Is Suicide Prevention? According to Wikipedia, Suicide prevention is an umbrella term for the collective efforts of local citizen organizations, health professionals and related professionals to reduce the incidence of suicide. It includes &#8211; treating the symptoms of depression improving the coping strategies of persons who would otherwise seriously consider suicide reducing the prevalence of conditions believed to constitute risk factors for suicide and giving people hope for a better life after their current problems are resolved. 2.  Why Is Suicide Prevention Important? Without understanding suicide prevention, it&#8217;s hard for you and me to help someone who needs helping. But most importantly I believe that  you, I, and every person on this planet is created in the image of God. Therefore, every person has inherent worth and dignity, and deserves to be alive. 3.  Aspergers/Autism, Depression, and Suicide Prevention As M. Kelter points out in his series on depression, a large percentage of Aspergians and autistics deal with depression. By definition, clinical depression can include frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide. Addressing depression is one of the best ways to prevent suicide. 4.  The Statistics of Suicide Potential Among Autistics and Aspergians According to Aspegertestsite....

Did you know that Thrive with Autism/Aspergers has its very own reporting team? Just kidding. Michael and Cici, from TWAP054 Happy Aspergers Marriage Secrets, attended AspieCon this year. And they graciously submitted their report of their time there. What Is AspieCon? According to their website, AspieCon is everything you love about ComicCon combined with the best aspects of a community resource fair. It celebrates the incredibly diverse interests of people on the autism spectrum while also providing valuable resources and support for our awesome Aspies and Auties, their families, and their friends. Dr. Frank Gaskill and Southeastern Psych help organize this convention. What You&#8217;ll Learn Aspies sharing their world with the outside public Sensory free zones Panels included the following topics: * advanced cosplay techniques * what to expect in therapy * educational advocacy &#8211; how parents can navigate the educational systems via IEPs and help their child to take advantage of their skills and traits as a student with autism * The Epiphany School of Charlotte &#8211; a unique school for students with Aspergers and other social communication differences * a Question and Answer session with Aspie Teens &#8211; what it’s like to be on the spectrum as a teen * Parenting on the spectrum &#8211; discussing the experiences, challenges, and joys of raising children on the spectrum * How To Turn Your Passion Into a Career * Autism After 18 * Employment for Aspies, and how many tech companies are recognizing the gifts of Aspies and Auties * Celebrities and Famous People with Aspergers/Autism * Courtney Love, Andy Warhol, Anthony Hopkins * Athletes like Clay Marzo, Jessica Applegate, and David Campion * Possible historical figures like Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln Final Impressions Cici &#8211; it was interactive, out of the box, building a strong community, empowering individuals on the spectrum, not a disease, but a difference Michael &#8211; it was a celebration of who you are as a person with Aspergers, squeeze every bit of who you are out of who you are Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Become a Patron of the Thrive With Aspergers Podcast! Subscribe to <a title="the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast" href="http://www.