When narcissistic parents starts ageing, people eventually see through the false charm and see the person for who they really are. Their behavior tends to get worse with the passage of time. As time takes its toll on their looks and their health they painfully realize that admiration is a thing of the past. Time has taken its toll. Narcissistic parents are immature, angry, volatile and controlling. Sadly, their parenting was not nurturing but a dictatorship where they have all the...
Mar 25, 2022
11 min
All-or-nothing thinking is a a cognitive distortion. Cognitive meaning the way you understand, think, and perceive. And Distortion meaning misleading or irrational. All-or-nothing thinking and fear of failure paved a perfect path to perfectionism. I was raised with impossibly high expectations that I could never meet and as miserable as that made me, it was familiar, so I stayed on that poison path for far too long and continuously moved the goalposts for myself. I still cri...
Mar 21, 2022
11 min
Object Constancy is a cognitive skill we acquire at around 2 years old and is defined as the ability to maintain an emotional bond with others, even where there is distance and conflict. In adulthood, Object Constancy allows us to trust that our bond with those who are close to us remains whole even when they are not physically present. We understand that absence does not mean disappearance or abandonment, only temporary distance. Babies that are instilled with object constancy de...
Mar 17, 2022
12 min
Toxic family rules live at the center of a dysfunctional family system and are designed to keep secrets hidden, enable abuse, keep children in line and avoid responsibility while also preventing safety, growth and connection. Toxic family dynamics can have far-reaching impact on our lives as adults. Children of toxic parents are emotionally starved. The family dynamic functions around the needs, wants, desires, and chaos of the parent. Children are viewed as objects, things to be ...
Feb 22, 2022
12 min
Albert Ellis, who is considered the 2nd most influential psychotherapist in history died in 2007 and believed psychological problems are due to pervasive patterns of irrational thought. It is not events that create emotional states, but the way we interpret them. Chronic unhappiness is not caused directly by adversity but by us, it is our irrational beliefs and thoughts that cause suffering. He said “There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. ...
Feb 18, 2022
11 min
“Something happened to us a long time ago. It happened more than once. It hurt us. We protected ourselves the only way we knew how. We are still protecting ourselves. It isn’t working anymore.” ― John C. Friel, Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families “recovery is a process rather than an event.” ― John C. Friel, Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families Millions of people grew up in alcoholic homes. But what about the rest of us? What a...
Feb 9, 2022
13 min
Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. It means verbalizing what impacts your comfort levels. It means learning how and when to say "no." When we set boundaries, we’re less angry and resentful because our needs are getting met and our space is respected. Boundaries make our expectations clear, so others know what to expect from us and how we want to be treated. Toxic people will do everything they can to ignore and bulldoze through the boundaries we try to set. They will ...
Feb 8, 2022
9 min
The healing journey was and is not easy for me. It is a continuous and rigorous cycle of aha moments followed by grief followed by acceptance. If your parents were narcissistic, controlling, smothering, unavailable, overly critical, manipulative, angry and emotionally immature...you may feel as lonely and disconnected as I have felt and battled the same crippling anxiety and depression that I did. I fantasized often that my parents would admit their mistakes and makes...
Feb 6, 2022
10 min
In March of 2021, my youngest daughter and her teammates experienced horrific emotional abuse from the coach of a Division 1 collegiate athletic team. It was a sickening combination of narcissism, toxic leadership, and verbal abuse and I was crushed by it as there was nothing I could do. I witnessed my daughter getting the exact same treatment that received during my entire childhood and I worked SO HARD to make sure she never experienced it. And here we were. The pani...
Feb 3, 2022
9 min
Coming from a home filled with alcoholism and abuse, Gina knows the grit & grace it takes to not just survive, but to move into a life filled with peace. She trusts that her immediate instinct to follow her intuition (which she calls her light) has been the catalyst to every success she has been blessed to experience. Her greatest passion is to help others find, and trust, the light inside of them—no matter their past. With a mom who wasn’t ready to relinquish her party lifestyle, eight-...
Mar 24, 2021
34 min
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