On this week's episode: We’ve always been at war with Eastasia ... An old Who’s Woo subject gets in touch with an opportunity too good to turn down ... And presidential hopeful Tucker Carlson wants a house to go with his replacement theory.

On this week's episode: Trump finds a new way to bomb ... Americans learn they will diarrhea themselves to death with measles before they’ll vote for a black lady ... And Republicans get mad about the ethnic retcon of the epic poem they all definitely read.

On this week's episode: Nigel Farage will argue that, if anything, he’s TOO innocent ... Mitch McConnell is busy hanging out with a cat and some uranium in a secret box ... And Donald Trump will call FIFA to tell them they just need to find him three more goals.

On this week's episode: Donald Trump surrenders in victory ... Trump aides explain why you can’t waterboard algae ... And we learn about the profound geopolitical impact of Waffle House and ranch dressing.

On this week's episode: Space X’s IPO is a POS ... We’ll explain to Eli why you can’t bet against Kalshi’s continued existence on Kalshi ... And Knicks fans like Heath can finally die happy.

On this week's episode: Florida declares infinity plus ONE congressmen ... Bret Michaels had better things to do ... And we learn how a weighted penis bag might affect your weekend.

On this week's episode: Marsh will explain British elections just in time for the empire to fall ... Donald Trump gets through his China visit without jumping out of the car at a red light and running around it ... and Trump supporters still won't have their gold phones.

On this week's episode: Claude takes a proactive approach to the tech sector ... Another would-be Trump assassin turns out to be as inept as his intended victim ... And Trump realizes that if you fire all of science, the lying thing works itself out in payroll.

On this week's episode: It's been 12 years worth of weeks this month ... We all continue to be more qualified to run the FBI than Kash Patel ... And thanks to Donald Trump, the Strait of Hormuz exists in a quantum state of close-open.